Ask These 40 Questions to Add Some ~Spice~ to Your Relationship

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsFlirty IcebreakersDreams and FantasiesDeep and PersonalSizzling Hot

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Flirty Icebreakers

Dreams and Fantasies

Deep and Personal

Sizzling Hot

Keeping the conversation rolling ondate nightmight already feel like second nature, especially if you two connect well or have been seeing each other for a bit. Weaving in some spicy conversation topics, however, might feel a little intimidating at first—especially if you’re not used to talking about these intimate subjects. But what if we said bringing in more intimacy is exactly what you and your partner need to strengthen your relationship?

“Exploring more intimate or daring topics helps you see each other in fresh, exciting ways, opening up vulnerable spaces where emotional and physicalintimacy can grow,” saysKen Fierheller, a registered psychotherapist at One Life Counselling & Coaching.“It can also help reignite any sparks that might have dimmed over time.”

Not sure what questions to ask for spicy convos with S.O.? We’re here to help kick things off.

Navigating the 4 Stages of a Relationship

Ken Fierheller, psychotherapistExploring more intimate or daring topics helps you see each other in fresh, exciting ways, opening up vulnerable spaces where emotional and physical intimacy can grow.

Ken Fierheller, psychotherapist

Exploring more intimate or daring topics helps you see each other in fresh, exciting ways, opening up vulnerable spaces where emotional and physical intimacy can grow.

New to spicy conversations, just beginning your relationship, or want to start in shallow waters? These are light and playful subjects to ease into the conversation andget the flirty vibes going.

Research shows that roughly 90 to 95% of people havesexual fantasies.It’s important to focus on exploring your partner’s romantic and intimate dreams. Be open to receiving their answers—remember, this is an opportunity to learn more about each other.

Take your spicy date night to a deeper level with these questions, which dive into emotions and desires to create intimacy and connection.

Whether you’re starting here right off the bat or working your way up, these spicy questions are hot and sexy.

How to Initiate Sex With Your Partner

Thoughts to Keep in Mind

Erin Rayburn, LMFTWorking on increasing safety and trust sets the stage for asking more intimate or spicy questions.

Erin Rayburn, LMFT

Working on increasing safety and trust sets the stage for asking more intimate or spicy questions.

It’s important that there is a foundation of safety and trust within the relationship, notesErin Rayburn, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Evergreen Therapy. “Working on increasing safety and trust sets the stage for asking more intimate or spicy questions.”

Also, try to remain open and vulnerable when asking these intimate questions. Refrain from judgment or shock when your partner answers—even if their responses do surprise you—and ensure the candidness flows both ways. Aside from that, have fun with it, don’t take yourselves too seriously, and enjoy the thrill!

How to Be More Sexually Intimate With Your Partner

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kohlenberg RJ, Kohlenberg B, Tsai M. Intimacy. In: Tsai M, Kohlenberg RJ, Kanter JW, Kohlenberg B, Follette WC, Callaghan GM, eds.A Guide to Functional Analytic Psychotherapy: Awareness, Courage, Love, and Behaviorism. Springer US; 2009:1-14. doi:10.1007/978-0-387-09787-9_6Nimbi FM, Galizia R, Limoncin E, et al.Sexual desire and erotic fantasies questionnaire: the development and validation of the erotic fantasy use scale (Sdef2) on experience, attitudes, and sharing issues.Healthcare. 2023;11(8):1159. doi:10.3390/healthcare11081159

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kohlenberg RJ, Kohlenberg B, Tsai M. Intimacy. In: Tsai M, Kohlenberg RJ, Kanter JW, Kohlenberg B, Follette WC, Callaghan GM, eds.A Guide to Functional Analytic Psychotherapy: Awareness, Courage, Love, and Behaviorism. Springer US; 2009:1-14. doi:10.1007/978-0-387-09787-9_6Nimbi FM, Galizia R, Limoncin E, et al.Sexual desire and erotic fantasies questionnaire: the development and validation of the erotic fantasy use scale (Sdef2) on experience, attitudes, and sharing issues.Healthcare. 2023;11(8):1159. doi:10.3390/healthcare11081159

Kohlenberg RJ, Kohlenberg B, Tsai M. Intimacy. In: Tsai M, Kohlenberg RJ, Kanter JW, Kohlenberg B, Follette WC, Callaghan GM, eds.A Guide to Functional Analytic Psychotherapy: Awareness, Courage, Love, and Behaviorism. Springer US; 2009:1-14. doi:10.1007/978-0-387-09787-9_6Nimbi FM, Galizia R, Limoncin E, et al.Sexual desire and erotic fantasies questionnaire: the development and validation of the erotic fantasy use scale (Sdef2) on experience, attitudes, and sharing issues.Healthcare. 2023;11(8):1159. doi:10.3390/healthcare11081159

Nimbi FM, Galizia R, Limoncin E, et al.Sexual desire and erotic fantasies questionnaire: the development and validation of the erotic fantasy use scale (Sdef2) on experience, attitudes, and sharing issues.Healthcare. 2023;11(8):1159. doi:10.3390/healthcare11081159

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Ken Fierheller, psychotherapist#

Thoughts to Keep in Mind#

Erin Rayburn, LMFT#

Ken Fierheller, psychotherapist

Thoughts to Keep in Mind

Erin Rayburn, LMFT