Find a TherapistReady to get started?Ready toget started?Add your email to continueEmailGet startedBy submitting your email, you agree to receive reminders and marketing communications.
Ready to get started?Ready toget started?Add your email to continueEmailGet startedBy submitting your email, you agree to receive reminders and marketing communications.
Ready to get started?
Ready toget started?
Add your email to continue
Get started
By submitting your email, you agree to receive reminders and marketing communications.
Mental Health HomepageConditions LibraryConditions CategoryConditions CategoryAsk a Therapist: “How to Cope With a Narcissistic Father”
Table of Contents:OverviewCharacteristics of a Father with Narcissistic Personality DisorderHow to Cope with a Father with Narcissistic Personality DisorderImpacts on a Child with A Father with NPDHow to Recover From the Effects of a Father with NPD
Narcissistic Personality DisorderRead Time: 8 Minutes
Published On: February 1, 2022
Reviewed On: February 1, 2022
Updated On: November 3, 2023
OverviewKnowing how to deal with a father with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can help you to avoid feelings of inadequacy that often result from this type of relationship. Here, we’ll clearly define narcissism, review the most common traits of those with NPD, discuss the effects that a narcissistic parent can have on his children, and offer tips about how to navigate and cope with the relationship in the long-term.
Overview
Knowing how to deal with a father with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can help you to avoid feelings of inadequacy that often result from this type of relationship. Here, we’ll clearly define narcissism, review the most common traits of those with NPD, discuss the effects that a narcissistic parent can have on his children, and offer tips about how to navigate and cope with the relationship in the long-term.
Characteristics of a Father with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The term narcissism or narcissist is thrown around pretty frequently these days. The truth is, most of us exhibit at least one (or sometimes more) of the common traits associated withnarcissistic personality disorder, but that doesn’t mean we’re all living with NPD. Understanding the narcissistic father traits can help you navigate this narcissistic parenting dynamic.
While it’s not uncommon for people to use the term “narcissist” in an argument, it really isn’t a term that should be used lightly. If you’re searching for tips on how to deal with a father with narcissistic personality disorder, then first be sure that your diagnosis is valid.There’s an integral difference between someone who suffers from NPD and someone who simply has an inflated sense ofself-regard.
However, a person with a genuine narcissistic personality disorder will exhibit self-love that’s morphed into something more; a preoccupation with themself, with little to no regard for anyone else’s feelings or emotions. You may often find yourself feeling constant tension or even emotional abuse from this type of narcissistic person.
Signs of a father with narcissistic personality disorder
There are several traits a father with narcissistic personality disorder might exhibit, including:
In general, people with narcissistic personality disorder aren’t overly concerned about you. They are more likely to focus on what you can do for them and the fastest way they can get you to do it.
How to Cope with a Father with Narcissistic Personality DisorderLiving with a father with narcissistic personality disorder can be challenging, but there are several ways you can cope to try and maintain a healthy relationship.Get a good therapistA professional family counselor or mental health professional can help you and your father understand the impact his NPD is having on your relationship. Therapy can help you alone, or it can be something you might try doing together. The ultimate goal of therapy would be to understand how your father’s negative narcissistic behavior affects you. You’ll also focus on how to reduce the power and impact he has on you and your life.Learn acceptanceYour mother or father’s constant need for attention and arrogance can be difficult. That much is a given. It’s understandable (and valid) for you to feel overwhelmed, tired, confused, and probably even a bit angry or hurt at times. However, it can be very beneficial for you to begin to accept who your father is and what his disorder means in your life.Create an image of him as a loving but challenging friend in your life. By learning to accept his behavior and hisnarcissistic gaslightingtendencies, you can begin to let go of some of the pain, resentment, or anger you may have been building up.Don’t tolerate abuseA father with NPD might have a constant need for ego-stroking. Beyond that, he may also eventually become abusive. This is never tolerable in any type of relationship, for any reason. This type of emotional abuse can leave victims with feelings of low self esteem and other negative emotions.If your father, with or without narcissistic personality disorder, is abusive or toxic, you have every right to protect yourself and get out of the situation. Set healthyrelationship boundaries, take care and use caution around anyone who exhibits a violent or narcissistic tendency, even if it’s your dad or other family members. We all have a right for peace and safety in our life, and you deservehealing from narcissistic abuse.
How to Cope with a Father with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Living with a father with narcissistic personality disorder can be challenging, but there are several ways you can cope to try and maintain a healthy relationship.
Get a good therapist
A professional family counselor or mental health professional can help you and your father understand the impact his NPD is having on your relationship. Therapy can help you alone, or it can be something you might try doing together. The ultimate goal of therapy would be to understand how your father’s negative narcissistic behavior affects you. You’ll also focus on how to reduce the power and impact he has on you and your life.
Learn acceptance
Your mother or father’s constant need for attention and arrogance can be difficult. That much is a given. It’s understandable (and valid) for you to feel overwhelmed, tired, confused, and probably even a bit angry or hurt at times. However, it can be very beneficial for you to begin to accept who your father is and what his disorder means in your life.
Create an image of him as a loving but challenging friend in your life. By learning to accept his behavior and hisnarcissistic gaslightingtendencies, you can begin to let go of some of the pain, resentment, or anger you may have been building up.
Don’t tolerate abuse
A father with NPD might have a constant need for ego-stroking. Beyond that, he may also eventually become abusive. This is never tolerable in any type of relationship, for any reason. This type of emotional abuse can leave victims with feelings of low self esteem and other negative emotions.
If your father, with or without narcissistic personality disorder, is abusive or toxic, you have every right to protect yourself and get out of the situation. Set healthyrelationship boundaries, take care and use caution around anyone who exhibits a violent or narcissistic tendency, even if it’s your dad or other family members. We all have a right for peace and safety in our life, and you deservehealing from narcissistic abuse.
Impacts on a Child with A Father with NPD
Fathers with narcissistic personality disorder can have a significant impact on their children. The effects of their narcissistic parenting can vary with daughters versus sons, though, and can result in significant childhood trauma.
Impacts on a daughter
Daughters with fathers who have NPD often state that their dads were never able to give them what they needed growing up. They commonly feel their relationship is unfulfilled. It’s also normal for them to recall having to compete with their siblings to get any parenting time or affection from their narcissistic fathers at all.
Some adult daughters say thetoxic relationshipstill has a profound impact on their life. Many feel constantly vulnerable and always under pressure to do better, even as adults. People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder are often perfectionists, and fathers can make their adult child, especially daughters, feel insecure and inadequate, unable to and undeserving of receiving love.
Impacts on a son
Boys who grow up with fathers who have narcissistic personality disorder may feel like they never measure up. Sometimes fathers can become competitive with their sons. They might go so far as to intentionally win at any cost against their sons, even at the smallest games. Further, they’ll likely relish the victory to the point of being extreme and inappropriate.
Of course, every child — even those in a healthy relationship — has unique dynamics with their father. There’s a commonality, however, in the NPD father’s inability to empathize with or even show basic concern for his children.
Expert Insight
Licensed Certified Social Worker-Clinical, (LCSW-C), LICSW, MSWElizabeth Keohan
How to Recover From the Effects of a Father with NPD
Learn more to understand him
Learn as much as you can about what narcissistic personality disorder is, how it can affect parenting, and the possible impacts it can have on children. Awareness is key to healing. Continue to enhance your psychoeducation about NPD, as it will likely help you start to make sense of your childhood.
Seek help
Online therapyplatforms like Talkspace make it easy and accessible to receive professional mental health treatment from the comfort of your own home.
Self-improvement
Focus your attention on recovery and healing. Begin developing a stable sense of self. For most adult children of NPD parents, healing depends heavily on finding a deeper self-connection. It’s important to learn to love yourself for who you are and not who you think others expect you to be. Your therapist can also help you learn how to cultivate more stability and cohesiveness in your life.
A significant part of the healing process is acknowledging the trauma from your past and seeking ways to overcome it. This is especially true if you’ve had acovert narcissistas a parent, as their tactics of emotional blackmail can be particularly damaging and may not be readily apparent.
See ReferencesNarcissistic Personality Disorder.Mitra P, Fluyau D. Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. Published 2021. Accessed December 23, 2021.Narcissistic personality disorder.Medlineplus.gov. Published 2020. Accessed December 23, 2021.Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Diagnostic and Clinical Challenges.Caligor E, Levy K, Yeomans F. American Journal of Psychiatry. 2015;172(5):415-422. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2014.14060723. Accessed December 23, 2021.
See References
Mitra P, Fluyau D. Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. Published 2021. Accessed December 23, 2021.
Medlineplus.gov. Published 2020. Accessed December 23, 2021.
Caligor E, Levy K, Yeomans F. American Journal of Psychiatry. 2015;172(5):415-422. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2014.14060723. Accessed December 23, 2021.
Elizabeth KeohanLicensed Talkspace Therapist, Elizabeth Keohan has enjoyed working with clients in communities from Washington DC through rural Maine over the course of her career. While she has worked extensively with those experiencing anxiety and depression, she embodies a unique comfort working with the bereaved. Elizabeth combines a compassionate, holistic approach with Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT), to help clients counter their somatic response to stress, anxiety, mood, grief and loss.
Licensed Talkspace Therapist, Elizabeth Keohan has enjoyed working with clients in communities from Washington DC through rural Maine over the course of her career. While she has worked extensively with those experiencing anxiety and depression, she embodies a unique comfort working with the bereaved. Elizabeth combines a compassionate, holistic approach with Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT), to help clients counter their somatic response to stress, anxiety, mood, grief and loss.
Share
Effective and affordable mental health treatmentGet Started
Effective and affordable mental health treatment
Related Articles About Narcissistic Personality DisorderView all articlesNarcissistic Personality DisorderMarch 26, 2024How to Heal from Narcissistic ParentsNarcissistic Personality DisorderDecember 28, 2023How to Live With a NarcissistNarcissistic Personality DisorderDecember 28, 2023What to Know About Dating After Narcissistic AbuseNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 28, 2023How to Respond to a NarcissistNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 28, 2023How to Leave & End a Relationship With a NarcissistNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 27, 2023How to Get a Narcissist to Respect YouNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 27, 2023Narcissistic Rage: Identifying & Protecting Yourself From ItNarcissistic Personality DisorderFebruary 21, 2023How to Diagnose Narcissistic Personality DisorderNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 29, 2022Narcissistic Abuse: Examples, Signs, and EffectsNarcissistic Personality DisorderAugust 30, 2022Sociopathy vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Similarities & Differences
Related Articles About Narcissistic Personality DisorderView all articles
Related Articles About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality DisorderMarch 26, 2024How to Heal from Narcissistic ParentsNarcissistic Personality DisorderDecember 28, 2023How to Live With a NarcissistNarcissistic Personality DisorderDecember 28, 2023What to Know About Dating After Narcissistic AbuseNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 28, 2023How to Respond to a NarcissistNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 28, 2023How to Leave & End a Relationship With a NarcissistNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 27, 2023How to Get a Narcissist to Respect YouNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 27, 2023Narcissistic Rage: Identifying & Protecting Yourself From ItNarcissistic Personality DisorderFebruary 21, 2023How to Diagnose Narcissistic Personality DisorderNarcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 29, 2022Narcissistic Abuse: Examples, Signs, and EffectsNarcissistic Personality DisorderAugust 30, 2022Sociopathy vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Similarities & Differences
Narcissistic Personality DisorderMarch 26, 2024How to Heal from Narcissistic Parents
Narcissistic Personality DisorderDecember 28, 2023How to Live With a Narcissist
Narcissistic Personality DisorderDecember 28, 2023What to Know About Dating After Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 28, 2023How to Respond to a Narcissist
Narcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 28, 2023How to Leave & End a Relationship With a Narcissist
Narcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 27, 2023How to Get a Narcissist to Respect You
Narcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 27, 2023Narcissistic Rage: Identifying & Protecting Yourself From It
Narcissistic Personality DisorderFebruary 21, 2023How to Diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality DisorderSeptember 29, 2022Narcissistic Abuse: Examples, Signs, and Effects
Narcissistic Personality DisorderAugust 30, 2022Sociopathy vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Similarities & Differences
If you are in a life threatening situation – don’t use this site. Call 988 or useto get immediate help.
Therapy may be free for you
