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Mental Health HomepageConditions LibraryConditions CategoryConditions CategoryAsk a Therapist: “How to Cope With a Mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder”
Table of Contents:OverviewCharacteristics of a Mother with Narcissistic Personality DisorderHow to Cope with a Mother with Narcissistic Personality DisorderThe Impacts of a Mother Who Has Narcissistic Personality DisorderHow to Recover from the Effects of Having a Mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality DisorderRead Time: 6 Minutes
Published On: February 1, 2022
Reviewed On: February 1, 2022
Updated On: November 3, 2023
Overview
We’re reviewing the signs of a mother with narcissistic personality disorder, the possible effects her narcissistic behavior may have had on you growing up (that you may still be experiencing well into adulthood), and how you can begin on a personal journey to understanding, forgiving, and healing.
Characteristics of a Mother with Narcissistic Personality Disordert’s very important to not just assume that someone hasnarcissistic personality disorder. Many people exhibit a narcissistic trait on occasion, but that’s not enough for a diagnosis. Clinical assessment is needed to accurately diagnose and identify narcissistic personality disorder.It’s also important to note that narcissistic personality disorder is relatively rare. It’sestimatedthat roughly 0.5% of the population in the United States might have NPD. Although NPD isn’t as common as some other mental health conditions, the possibility of growing up in a home with a narcissistic parent isn’t unheard of.Generally, personality disorders cause someone to behave, feel, and think in ways that are harmful to themselves and others. Distinguishing if NPD is present in a parent can be tricky, even for adult children.A mother with narcissistic personality disorder traits may:Show you no empathyBe verbally aggressiveFeel the need to control your familyBe centered on herselfCreate toxic environmentsBe jealous of you and your achievementsInfluence the relationship you have with your father or family memberAct as though you are an extension of herDisrespect your personal space and boundariesInfantilize you and try to control anyone they perceive as a threat to your mother-child relationship (in particular, a future life partner)Compare you to your brothers, sisters, and peersMinimize the legitimacy of your feelings, or invalidate them completely withnarcissistic gaslightingIf you know or suspect that your mother has NPD, the most important part of your healing is understanding that you don’t deserve thetoxic relationshipyou’re dealing with. It’s not your fault, and happiness and healing are both very possible once you’re ready.
Characteristics of a Mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
t’s very important to not just assume that someone hasnarcissistic personality disorder. Many people exhibit a narcissistic trait on occasion, but that’s not enough for a diagnosis. Clinical assessment is needed to accurately diagnose and identify narcissistic personality disorder.
It’s also important to note that narcissistic personality disorder is relatively rare. It’sestimatedthat roughly 0.5% of the population in the United States might have NPD. Although NPD isn’t as common as some other mental health conditions, the possibility of growing up in a home with a narcissistic parent isn’t unheard of.
Generally, personality disorders cause someone to behave, feel, and think in ways that are harmful to themselves and others. Distinguishing if NPD is present in a parent can be tricky, even for adult children.
A mother with narcissistic personality disorder traits may:
If you know or suspect that your mother has NPD, the most important part of your healing is understanding that you don’t deserve thetoxic relationshipyou’re dealing with. It’s not your fault, and happiness and healing are both very possible once you’re ready.
How to Cope with a Mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
A skilled therapist can work with your inner child to heal lingering wounds that you might not have ever been able to effectively deal with.
Some of the ways you can take action and begin healing include:
Expert Insight
Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), MSMinkyung Chung
The Impacts of a Mother Who Has Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Impacts on a daughter
Having a mother with narcissistic personality disorder typically affects daughters differently than it does sons. It’s not uncommon for the daughter of a mother with NPD to eventually end up:
Impacts on a son
How to Recover from the Effects of Having a Mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Learn More to Understand Her
When you understand why your mother behaves the way she does, you might find that you begin to hurt less and function better. Take some time to educate yourself about what narcissism actually is. Learn about the common misconceptions about NPD.
Step back in your mind and consciously identify the narcissistic abuse that you suffered as a result of your mother’s NPD. Understand how she affected your thoughts, views, and beliefs.
Learn about the various ways narcissism presents itself in parenting, and ask yourself what your mother must have been experiencing.
Seek Help
See ReferencesPrevalence, correlates, disability, and comorbidity of DSM-IV narcissistic personality disorder: results from the wave 2 national epidemiologic survey on alcohol and related conditionsStinson, Frederick S et al. The Journal of clinical psychiatry vol. 69,7 (2008): 1033-45. doi:10.4088/jcp.v69n0701. Accessed January 5, 2022.Narcissistic Personality DisorderAmbardar, MD S. Emedicine.medscape.com. >Published 2018. Accessed January 5, 2022.
See References
Stinson, Frederick S et al. The Journal of clinical psychiatry vol. 69,7 (2008): 1033-45. doi:10.4088/jcp.v69n0701. Accessed January 5, 2022.
Ambardar, MD S. Emedicine.medscape.com. >Published 2018. Accessed January 5, 2022.
Minkyung ChungMinkyung Chung has over 10 years of experience and specializes in multicultural issues, specifically issues unique to the Asian American population. She enjoys working within the Asian American community to help reduce the stigma associated with seeking mental health services and normalize the process of it. Her passion for this topic has led her to focus her research efforts in examining how to help the Asian American community.
Minkyung Chung has over 10 years of experience and specializes in multicultural issues, specifically issues unique to the Asian American population. She enjoys working within the Asian American community to help reduce the stigma associated with seeking mental health services and normalize the process of it. Her passion for this topic has led her to focus her research efforts in examining how to help the Asian American community.
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