Ask a Therapist: How Do I Deal With Bad Memories That Pop Into My Head?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsEmotional Memories Leave an ImprintRecognize Your TriggersWrite the Facts in a Journal

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Emotional Memories Leave an Imprint

Recognize Your Triggers

Write the Facts in a Journal

Close

In the “Ask a Therapist” series, I’ll be answering your questions about all things mental health and psychology. Whether you’re struggling with a mental health condition, coping with anxiety about a life situation, or simply looking for a therapist’s insight,submit a question. Look for my answers to your questions every Friday in theHealthy Mind newsletter.A Reader AsksI have several bad memories wired in my brain, and I want to forget them. I cringe every time I remember what happened. How can I make it so these things don’t just pop up in my head anymore?Amy AnswersBad memories can be quite disturbing. And sometimes, the more we try to push them away, the more they come back to haunt us. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to deal with the bad memories that keep popping up.Emotional Memories Leave an ImprintEmotional memories leave imprints on our brains. You probably can’t recall mundane details of your childhood or what was said in a staff meeting two years ago. But you likely remember the times you got rejected, felt terrified, or experienced extreme embarrassment.Your brain responds differently to highly emotional experiences than ordinary events. The amygdala heightens your sensory awareness when you’re facing an emotionally charged experience, which may encode memories more effectively.Recognize Your TriggersQuite often, certain sounds, smells, or experiences conjure unpleasant sensations from the past. For example, if you got teased in the cafeteria as a kid and you usually ate an orange for lunch, the smell of oranges might bring those memories to mind. If you were in a warzone, loud bangs (like fireworks) might send your body into panic mode.When yourecognize your triggers, you can decide how to respond to them. You might decide it’s just easier to avoid them than to resist the discomfort they cause.It’s often easier to respond to those memories when you know why they’re cropping up. Seeing that they aren’t as random as you think they are can help you feel more in control. Telling yourself, “I remember that right now because I see something that reminds me of that time in my life” can help, too.Try associating those triggers with pleasant memories instead. For example, if oranges spark bad memories, try eating oranges when you’re doing fun activities so your brain learns to associate citrus scents with positive feelings.Write the Facts in a JournalYou might find that the more you try to suppress a bad memory, the more you think about it. That’s whyexposure therapycan help.Therapists often use exposure therapy to help people withpost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), in which someone experiences trauma that causes nightmares, flashbacks, and other symptoms. This may involve talking about the experience until it doesn’t feel so threatening anymore.Writing about your experience in a journal can help. Rather than diving into how horrible you felt, describe the facts as objectively as possible. This may help reorganize how your brain stores this memory and help you feel less upset when you recall those memories.The Best Online Trauma Therapy, Tried and TestedA Word From VerywellTherapistsare well-trained in helping people deal with traumatic events and memories and in helping change the narratives people tell themselves. For example, if certain memories cause you to feel bad about yourself, a therapist may help you see that you’re not at fault for something bad that happened to you. You might learn how to respond to those unpleasant memories in a healthy way so they aren’t as disturbing anymore.Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

In the “Ask a Therapist” series, I’ll be answering your questions about all things mental health and psychology. Whether you’re struggling with a mental health condition, coping with anxiety about a life situation, or simply looking for a therapist’s insight,submit a question. Look for my answers to your questions every Friday in theHealthy Mind newsletter.

A Reader AsksI have several bad memories wired in my brain, and I want to forget them. I cringe every time I remember what happened. How can I make it so these things don’t just pop up in my head anymore?

A Reader Asks

I have several bad memories wired in my brain, and I want to forget them. I cringe every time I remember what happened. How can I make it so these things don’t just pop up in my head anymore?

Amy AnswersBad memories can be quite disturbing. And sometimes, the more we try to push them away, the more they come back to haunt us. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to deal with the bad memories that keep popping up.

Amy Answers

Bad memories can be quite disturbing. And sometimes, the more we try to push them away, the more they come back to haunt us. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to deal with the bad memories that keep popping up.

Emotional memories leave imprints on our brains. You probably can’t recall mundane details of your childhood or what was said in a staff meeting two years ago. But you likely remember the times you got rejected, felt terrified, or experienced extreme embarrassment.

Your brain responds differently to highly emotional experiences than ordinary events. The amygdala heightens your sensory awareness when you’re facing an emotionally charged experience, which may encode memories more effectively.

Quite often, certain sounds, smells, or experiences conjure unpleasant sensations from the past. For example, if you got teased in the cafeteria as a kid and you usually ate an orange for lunch, the smell of oranges might bring those memories to mind. If you were in a warzone, loud bangs (like fireworks) might send your body into panic mode.

When yourecognize your triggers, you can decide how to respond to them. You might decide it’s just easier to avoid them than to resist the discomfort they cause.

It’s often easier to respond to those memories when you know why they’re cropping up. Seeing that they aren’t as random as you think they are can help you feel more in control. Telling yourself, “I remember that right now because I see something that reminds me of that time in my life” can help, too.

Try associating those triggers with pleasant memories instead. For example, if oranges spark bad memories, try eating oranges when you’re doing fun activities so your brain learns to associate citrus scents with positive feelings.

You might find that the more you try to suppress a bad memory, the more you think about it. That’s whyexposure therapycan help.

Therapists often use exposure therapy to help people withpost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), in which someone experiences trauma that causes nightmares, flashbacks, and other symptoms. This may involve talking about the experience until it doesn’t feel so threatening anymore.

Writing about your experience in a journal can help. Rather than diving into how horrible you felt, describe the facts as objectively as possible. This may help reorganize how your brain stores this memory and help you feel less upset when you recall those memories.

The Best Online Trauma Therapy, Tried and Tested

A Word From Verywell

Therapistsare well-trained in helping people deal with traumatic events and memories and in helping change the narratives people tell themselves. For example, if certain memories cause you to feel bad about yourself, a therapist may help you see that you’re not at fault for something bad that happened to you. You might learn how to respond to those unpleasant memories in a healthy way so they aren’t as disturbing anymore.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

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