Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsMemes Create ConnectionMemes Help You Say the Hard ThingsMemes Help You Build Emotional CapitalMemes Contribute to a “Shared Language"Memes Help You Feel Seen
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Memes Create Connection
Memes Help You Say the Hard Things
Memes Help You Build Emotional Capital
Memes Contribute to a “Shared Language”
Memes Help You Feel Seen
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My Instagram inbox beckons me with its red notification, more messages to read.
Memes get trivialized and disparaged, yet, they’re an important social currency and way of communicating online in this day and age. These small, often funny pieces of contentare important for their ability to share ideas quickly and succinctly as well as foster asense of connectionand feeling seen.
In 2020, Instagram reported that more than 1 million memes were shared daily on its platform; a number that has likely only grown.
As a millennial therapist, I found myself weirdly excited the first time a client sent me a meme. (You never forget your first.) It felt like an honor to me. As someone who considershumorand sarcasm her love language, I received the meme as a sign of trust.
Sharing a joke or having a similar sense of humor illustrates having a similar perspective, and this person was taking a gamble that I would think similarly to them about this being funny. I wrote back with an answer that showed that I also found the meme funny, and I could tell that it strengthened our connection.
Sometimes a meme from a friend will hit my inbox, and I’ll feel a bit of surprise. “Wait, you feel that way too?? I never would have guessed.” There are a few people in my life who have outwardly enviable lives, but the memes we exchange show me that their inner lives are not quite as desirable.
Whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, memes are an important part of modern discourse.
Although memes are packaged in quippy sayings or observations, at their core, they are still an exchange of ideas, just in a very easy-to-digest format. Whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, memes are an important part of modern discourse. As both a therapist and “regular” human, I’m glad that we have this way of communicating.
In our increasingly digital and always-on world,many of us are feeling more alone and isolated than ever. While many of us refer to the offline world as IRL (“in real life”), our digital personas are a part of our “real lives,” too.
Being a therapistcan be more isolating than I ever wanted to believe it would be. I can’t talk much about what happened at work to people in my life, other than inincrediblybroad strokes. I am tremendously lucky that people pay me their hard-earned money to share both their biggest fears and traumas—as well as their highs.
While many of us refer to the offline world as IRL (‘in real life’), our digital personas are a part of our ‘real lives,’ too.
I carry with me a lot of admiration for the resilience of the human soul as well as a deep sorrow of knowing how terrible humans have the capability of being to each other. While there are other therapy meme accounts, the OG one I’ve been following since at least 2020 isPsychotherapy Memes.
What Is Emotional Labor?
I’m grateful that my friends and clients have used memes to communicate with me in order to say the hard things—to make jokes about their traumas or an element of dealing withchronic depression, for example.
greaterthanillness.com
Typically one might think that sharing memes about depression might be…depressing? And, perhaps, to people not dealing with those melancholic feelings, they might be.
But research supportsthat memes which address typically difficult-to-communicate themes like suicidality or isolation give people a safer—and even socially sanctioned—way to unload some of the burden of their heavy feelings. Also,finding the humor in tough situationscan take some of the power away from these otherwise taboo feelings.
From Informative to Performative: When Social Media Becomes Problematic
If you were trying to save $100,000 but only focused on making big deposits, you’d miss out on the ability to build up your money over time. The same holds true in relationships—they’re not just built in the big moments, but it’s the smaller moments that help us build emotional capital.
For example, my best friend moved from living in the same apartment building as me to the opposite coast. I went from seeing her daily to now only seeing her every few months. Our lifestyles have also dramatically diverged, as she’s since become a mom to two tiny humans, while I’m still just dog momming out here.
The same holds true in relationships—they’re not just built in the big moments, but it’s the smaller moments that help us build emotional capital.
We do text most days, but I also know that I can depend on waking up in the morning, knowing there’s inevitably some kind of meme she shared with me. It’s a tiny reminder that she’s thinking of me and still feels connected. These moments help us keep building our emotional capital, rather than waiting until one of us has something important enough to pick up the phone about.
Think of a time youfelt excludedfrom a group, because it felt like they were speaking an entirely different language with references you didn’t understand.
Or, on the contrary, think of a time where you were the one to clue in a group about a popular meme that they somehow didn’t know about. If you felt a small rush of power, you’re not petty. (Or at least no more petty than me.)
Having more information is historically what kept us alive, so there’s an evolutionary reason for feeling that small amount of power.Knowing that a tiger was coming when someone else didn’t could have meant the difference between life and death.
Missing out on a meme won’t kill you, but having that shared language will help bring you closer.
I also find memes a helpful tool for communication because they can provide validation. Sometimes, no matter how many ways I phrase something or ask something to a client, they still have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that they’re not The Only Person Who Has Ever Felt That Way. (I’m guilty of this, too—of telling my own therapist why, no, it’s so much different or worse for me than for anyone else, ever.)
But while, yes, each person’s exact situation is different,feelings are largely universal. That is, while the exact grief of losing my specific mom, Carol, is not the carbon copy of your grief oflosing your mom, we’ve probably had relatively similar feelings.
Memes feel particularly validating for the not-so-charitable feelings. Am I grateful for people’s well wishes after my mom died? Absolutely. Do I understand that people meant well when they said they were here for me, even if they didn’t follow up? Mostly? But also, does it sometimes really annoy me? Yes! And acknowledging that, and that I’m not alone in it, can help me move on.
5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.The growth, spread, and mutation of internet phenomena: A study of memes.Results in Applied Mathematics. 2020;6:100092. doi:10.1016/j.rinam.2020.100092Instagram year in review: how memes were the mood of 2020| instagram blog.Akram U, Drabble J, Cau G, et al.Exploratory study on the role of emotion regulation in perceived valence, humour, and beneficial use of depressive internet memes in depression.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):899. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-57953-4Feeney BC, Lemay EP.Surviving relationship threats: the role of emotional capital. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2012;38(8):1004-1017. doi: 10.1177/0146167212442Steels L, Szathmáry E.The evolutionary dynamics of language.Biosystems. 2018;164:128-137. doi:10.1016/j.biosystems.2017.11.003
5 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.The growth, spread, and mutation of internet phenomena: A study of memes.Results in Applied Mathematics. 2020;6:100092. doi:10.1016/j.rinam.2020.100092Instagram year in review: how memes were the mood of 2020| instagram blog.Akram U, Drabble J, Cau G, et al.Exploratory study on the role of emotion regulation in perceived valence, humour, and beneficial use of depressive internet memes in depression.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):899. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-57953-4Feeney BC, Lemay EP.Surviving relationship threats: the role of emotional capital. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2012;38(8):1004-1017. doi: 10.1177/0146167212442Steels L, Szathmáry E.The evolutionary dynamics of language.Biosystems. 2018;164:128-137. doi:10.1016/j.biosystems.2017.11.003
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
The growth, spread, and mutation of internet phenomena: A study of memes.Results in Applied Mathematics. 2020;6:100092. doi:10.1016/j.rinam.2020.100092Instagram year in review: how memes were the mood of 2020| instagram blog.Akram U, Drabble J, Cau G, et al.Exploratory study on the role of emotion regulation in perceived valence, humour, and beneficial use of depressive internet memes in depression.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):899. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-57953-4Feeney BC, Lemay EP.Surviving relationship threats: the role of emotional capital. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2012;38(8):1004-1017. doi: 10.1177/0146167212442Steels L, Szathmáry E.The evolutionary dynamics of language.Biosystems. 2018;164:128-137. doi:10.1016/j.biosystems.2017.11.003
The growth, spread, and mutation of internet phenomena: A study of memes.Results in Applied Mathematics. 2020;6:100092. doi:10.1016/j.rinam.2020.100092
Instagram year in review: how memes were the mood of 2020| instagram blog.
Akram U, Drabble J, Cau G, et al.Exploratory study on the role of emotion regulation in perceived valence, humour, and beneficial use of depressive internet memes in depression.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):899. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-57953-4
Feeney BC, Lemay EP.Surviving relationship threats: the role of emotional capital. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2012;38(8):1004-1017. doi: 10.1177/0146167212442
Steels L, Szathmáry E.The evolutionary dynamics of language.Biosystems. 2018;164:128-137. doi:10.1016/j.biosystems.2017.11.003
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