Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsOverviewAttachment StylesSymptomsCausesDiagnosisTreatmentCoping
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Overview
Attachment Styles
Symptoms
Causes
Diagnosis
Treatment
Coping
Close
Attachment anxiety refers to anxiety experienced about your relationships with loved ones including parents, friends, and partners. It generally stems from childhood experiences. While the exact causes of anxious attachment are not fully understood, they may stem from negative experiences or inconsistent parenting.
Secure attachments with caregivers are essential for healthy development. Poor attachment during the early years of life can have lasting effects. These attachments can also persist into adulthood and negatively affect adult relationships.
This article discusses the symptoms, causes, and treatments of attachment anxiety. It also covers how you can cope if you or your partner have an anxious attachment style.
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Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Anxiety
This episode ofThe Verywell Mind Podcast, featuring radio host Charlamagne Tha God, shares how to manage anxiety. Click below to listen now.
Overview of Anxious Attachment
In other words, how you answer the question, “If I am upset, can I count on my partner?” is a reflection of what you’ve learned and how you’ve been treated throughout your life. It’s a model both of how you expect others to treat you as well as how you perceive yourself.
In general, it is accepted that there are four adultattachment styles:
The first three styles are all insecure and reflect poor functioning in relationships.
What Is Attachment Theory?
Symptoms of Anxious Attachment
How do people with attachment anxiety behave? How these symptoms present themselves can be similar for children and adults, but there are also some important differences. Below is an overview of some of the most common symptoms.
Signs of Anxious Attachment in Children
Children with an anxious attachment style tend to experience:
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Signs of Anxious Attachment in Adults
Adults with an anxious attachment style tend to have:
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Causes of Anxious Attachment
There are a number of different factors that can trigger anxious attachment. Genetic factors can play a role, but early childhood experiences also have an important influence.
We know thatanxietytends to have a genetic component. Children as young as 4 months of age can show signs of behavioral disinhibition (such as a fast-beating heart and fear of strangers), which is linked to later separation anxiety.
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However, attachment anxiety may also result from experiences during childhood or later in life. These can include overprotective parents, abuse, or neglect. Attachment serves to protect a child in terms of survival.
A child will experience anxiety and seek comfort from a parent. If that child does not succeed in receiving comfort from attachment figures, a feeling of security is not developed, which means that fear, anxiety, and distress remain elevated.
This could repeat itself through life in terms of friendships and relationships in which others do not provide the expected comfort.
Diagnosis of Anxious Attachment
Attachment anxiety is not an official diagnosis in theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Rather, it is generally considered to be a symptom to be addressed on its own. In general, it’s thought that about 50% of the population has a secure attachment style, while the rest fall into the various insecure styles.
However,separation anxiety disorderis an anxiety disorder related to attachment that generally is diagnosed around age 6 or 7.
Children with separation anxiety disorder may refuse to go to school, fear being separated from parents, have nightmares, and experience physical complaints like headache or stomachache.
While most children outgrow this issue, it can persist into adolescence and adulthood.
Another related diagnosis isreactive attachment disorder.Children with this disorder don’t seek comfort when distressed or do not respond to it. They may also lack responsiveness to others, have limited positive affect, and unexplained irritability. This disorder results from neglect during childhood.
Treatment for Anxious Attachment
Attachment anxiety has been shown to respond to various types of therapy including:
One study found that IPT effectively reduced attachment anxiety and that the reductions in anxiety were also linked to significant decreases in symptoms of depression.
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Coping With Anxious Attachment
Most people with attachment anxiety use ineffective coping strategies that escalate their anxiety, such as checking in on a partner frequently. This approach keeps the attachment anxiety level elevated and commonly leads to relationships that are strained.
It’s important to identify helpful and healthy coping strategies because having a secure attachment style will make you a morecompassionate personoverall.
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Strategies If You Have Attachment Anxiety
How do you stop anxious attachment? If you recognize signs of anxious attachment in your own behavior, there are things that you can do to manage these tendencies. Some strategies that may improve your well-being and relationships include:
Strategies If Your Partner Is Anxiously Attached
If you are in a relationship with someone who has attachment anxiety, there are things that you can do to help. Some strategies that can help your partner feel more secure include:
Coping With an Insecure Attachment Style
Keep in Mind
Attachment anxiety can be stressful. It often makes it difficult to enjoy relationships because you are so busy worrying about things that could go wrong. Working ondeveloping a more secure attachment stylecan help. Talk to your partner about what they can do to support you and consider seeking assistance from a therapist or counselor.
In general, that’s a win-win situation that will lead to a more fulfilling life. You’ll no longer be focused on being abandoned or not supported. Instead, you’ll be able to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.
Signs and Causes of Attachment Issues
11 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cassidy J, Jones JD, Shaver PR.Contributions of attachment theory and research: A framework for future research, translation, and policy.Dev Psychopathol. 2013;25(4 Pt 2):1415-1434. doi:10.1017/S0954579413000692Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: The mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Thomason E, Oh W, Volling BL, Gonzalez R, Yu T.Chapter VI. Developmental Trajectories of Children’s Anxiety and Depression After the Birth of a Sibling.Monogr Soc Res Child Dev. 2017;82(3):82-92. doi:10.1111/mono.12312Benoit D.Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome.Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(8):541-545. doi:10.1093/pch/9.8.541Silove D, Alonso J, Bromet E, et al.Pediatric-onset and adult-onset separation anxiety disorder across countries in the world mental health survey.Am J Psychiatry. 2015;172(7):647-56. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.14091185Hall SE, Geher G.Behavioral and personality characteristics of children with reactive attachment disorder.J Psychol. 2003;137(2):145-62. doi:10.1080/00223980309600605Cuijpers P, Donker T, Weissman MM, Ravitz P, Cristea IA.Interpersonal psychotherapy for mental health problems: A comprehensive meta-analysis.Am J Psychiatry. 2016;173(7):680-7. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.15091141Marmarosh CL, Tasca GA.Adult attachment anxiety: Using group therapy to promote change.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(11):1172-82. doi:10.1002/jclp.22044Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465Laslocky M.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.Greater Good Magazine.
11 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cassidy J, Jones JD, Shaver PR.Contributions of attachment theory and research: A framework for future research, translation, and policy.Dev Psychopathol. 2013;25(4 Pt 2):1415-1434. doi:10.1017/S0954579413000692Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: The mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Thomason E, Oh W, Volling BL, Gonzalez R, Yu T.Chapter VI. Developmental Trajectories of Children’s Anxiety and Depression After the Birth of a Sibling.Monogr Soc Res Child Dev. 2017;82(3):82-92. doi:10.1111/mono.12312Benoit D.Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome.Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(8):541-545. doi:10.1093/pch/9.8.541Silove D, Alonso J, Bromet E, et al.Pediatric-onset and adult-onset separation anxiety disorder across countries in the world mental health survey.Am J Psychiatry. 2015;172(7):647-56. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.14091185Hall SE, Geher G.Behavioral and personality characteristics of children with reactive attachment disorder.J Psychol. 2003;137(2):145-62. doi:10.1080/00223980309600605Cuijpers P, Donker T, Weissman MM, Ravitz P, Cristea IA.Interpersonal psychotherapy for mental health problems: A comprehensive meta-analysis.Am J Psychiatry. 2016;173(7):680-7. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.15091141Marmarosh CL, Tasca GA.Adult attachment anxiety: Using group therapy to promote change.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(11):1172-82. doi:10.1002/jclp.22044Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465Laslocky M.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.Greater Good Magazine.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Cassidy J, Jones JD, Shaver PR.Contributions of attachment theory and research: A framework for future research, translation, and policy.Dev Psychopathol. 2013;25(4 Pt 2):1415-1434. doi:10.1017/S0954579413000692Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: The mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006Thomason E, Oh W, Volling BL, Gonzalez R, Yu T.Chapter VI. Developmental Trajectories of Children’s Anxiety and Depression After the Birth of a Sibling.Monogr Soc Res Child Dev. 2017;82(3):82-92. doi:10.1111/mono.12312Benoit D.Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome.Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(8):541-545. doi:10.1093/pch/9.8.541Silove D, Alonso J, Bromet E, et al.Pediatric-onset and adult-onset separation anxiety disorder across countries in the world mental health survey.Am J Psychiatry. 2015;172(7):647-56. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.14091185Hall SE, Geher G.Behavioral and personality characteristics of children with reactive attachment disorder.J Psychol. 2003;137(2):145-62. doi:10.1080/00223980309600605Cuijpers P, Donker T, Weissman MM, Ravitz P, Cristea IA.Interpersonal psychotherapy for mental health problems: A comprehensive meta-analysis.Am J Psychiatry. 2016;173(7):680-7. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.15091141Marmarosh CL, Tasca GA.Adult attachment anxiety: Using group therapy to promote change.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(11):1172-82. doi:10.1002/jclp.22044Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465Laslocky M.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.Greater Good Magazine.
Cassidy J, Jones JD, Shaver PR.Contributions of attachment theory and research: A framework for future research, translation, and policy.Dev Psychopathol. 2013;25(4 Pt 2):1415-1434. doi:10.1017/S0954579413000692
Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL.Adult attachment and social anxiety: The mediating role of emotion regulation strategies.PLoS ONE. 2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514
Simpson JA, Steven Rholes W.Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships.Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:19-24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006
Thomason E, Oh W, Volling BL, Gonzalez R, Yu T.Chapter VI. Developmental Trajectories of Children’s Anxiety and Depression After the Birth of a Sibling.Monogr Soc Res Child Dev. 2017;82(3):82-92. doi:10.1111/mono.12312
Benoit D.Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome.Paediatr Child Health. 2004;9(8):541-545. doi:10.1093/pch/9.8.541
Silove D, Alonso J, Bromet E, et al.Pediatric-onset and adult-onset separation anxiety disorder across countries in the world mental health survey.Am J Psychiatry. 2015;172(7):647-56. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.14091185
Hall SE, Geher G.Behavioral and personality characteristics of children with reactive attachment disorder.J Psychol. 2003;137(2):145-62. doi:10.1080/00223980309600605
Cuijpers P, Donker T, Weissman MM, Ravitz P, Cristea IA.Interpersonal psychotherapy for mental health problems: A comprehensive meta-analysis.Am J Psychiatry. 2016;173(7):680-7. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.15091141
Marmarosh CL, Tasca GA.Adult attachment anxiety: Using group therapy to promote change.J Clin Psychol. 2013;69(11):1172-82. doi:10.1002/jclp.22044
Gunlicks-Stoessel M, Westervelt A, Reigstad K, Mufson L, Lee S.The role of attachment style in interpersonal psychotherapy for depressed adolescents.Psychother Res. 2019;29(1):78-85. doi:10.1080/10503307.2017.1315465
Laslocky M.How to stop attachment insecurity from ruining your love life.Greater Good Magazine.
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