Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsUnderstanding Agape LoveThe Impact of Agape LoveCultivating Agape Love
Table of ContentsView All
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Table of Contents
Understanding Agape Love
The Impact of Agape Love
Cultivating Agape Love
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Your dog means everything to you. He’s cute and cuddly and always there when you need him, and you love him. But it’s not the same way that you love your sister, or how you love your spouse. And it’s definitely not the way you love to watch football or read a good book. In fact, the Greek language has several different words that speak to different types of love.
“Eros love focuses on passion, [and] is wrapped in attraction and desire. Storge love is a brotherly love, where affection is reciprocal. In Ludus, love, fun, and adventure are its purpose, combined withphysical attraction,” explainsAura De Los Santos, a Clinical Psychologist.
Agape love, however, is less focused on you and more focused on those around you.
“Agape love goes beyond physical attraction and desire because it thinks of others first. It does not focus on what it will receive but always satisfaction in giving and seeing how others feel,” Del Los Santos states. “In one of his works, the Greek philosopher Plato refers to the different types of love, with agape love being the most selfless andunconditionaltype of love.”
Agape love goes beyond physical attraction and desire because it thinks of others first.—AURA DE LOS SANTOC, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST
Agape love goes beyond physical attraction and desire because it thinks of others first.
—AURA DE LOS SANTOC, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST
Often, agape love is referred to as the highest form of love because of its selfless ideals. It’s a historic concept for love that has endured to have a lasting impact.
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5 Psychological Theories of Love
Keeping with its original purpose of charity and unselfish giving, agape’s definition has grown.
“Agape love is unconditional, never dependent on reciprocity, and given freely in the most challenging times," statesDomenique Harrison, MPH, LMFT, LPCC.
“The provider of agape love gives selflessly, expansively, and intentionally for the vitality of the receiver. Individuals who provide agape have a felt sense of loving responsibility and devotion [to] the receiver; they do not expect anything in return for their love,” she says.
While many kinds of love can have similar characteristics, the traits of agape love are unique:
“Agape is a way to love someone that accepts and embraces the wholeness of each person without reservation,” notes Daniel Boscaljon, PhD, Executive Coach and Founder of theHealthy Workplace Academy. “It’s intimate, able to recognize and appreciate someone’s wholeness—even if that person can’t.”
The entire mindset behind agape love is selfless sacrificial service to others. While it may seem a lofty ideal, striving to exhibit this type of love can have a positive impact on your relationships, on your environment, and on society at large.
Altruism: How to Cultivate Selfless Behavior
We don’t live in an ideal world. People are human, and even the most disciplined, selfless individuals have rough days. But if you’re striving to think of others, be a considerate, kind person who exercises compassion, and someone who works to show others agape love, it can have a positive impact on you physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Research backs this up, showing that being kind andhelping othersimproves your mental health.We feel good when we can genuinely help someone else. That altruistic feeling shows up in many ways in our everyday lives.
The popular “pay it forward” idea, where you’re in a fast-food line and pay for the person behind you without their knowledge, is a relatable example of agape love in action. Watching a person in the grocery store line struggle to pay for their items and stepping up to provide payment with no motive other than wanting to help, is a gesture that shows agape love.
Putting aside what you’re doing to listen to someone who is going through a hard time or who is lonely is an act that demonstrates agape love.
When you extend that type of generosity into your relationships—whether it’s your friends, parents, siblings, or significant other—it can have a revolutionary impact that extends beyond you.
“A commitment to agape love can absolutely transform one’s relationship with [oneself] or others,” Dr. Boscaljon states. “The power of respectful acceptance overcomes feelings of guilt, shame, and hopelessness in one’s own life. It enhances a sense of communion and community. It can then extend this to others in meaningful and empowering ways,” he concludes.
2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Online Etymology Dictionary.Agape.Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2018;76:320-329.
2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Online Etymology Dictionary.Agape.Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2018;76:320-329.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Online Etymology Dictionary.Agape.Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2018;76:320-329.
Online Etymology Dictionary.Agape.
Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2018;76:320-329.
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