After Two Years of COVID, Are We Running Out of Empathy?

What Have The Past Two Years Cost Us?

It feels that pain is present no matter where we turn, and ourempathyis rapidly depleting. Simply put: It hurts to care. Unfortunately, no one is immune to dwindling empathy. As a clinician, I witness clients and colleagues alike lament over the state of our world. I, too, feel the drain of my emotional resources at times.

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Decreased empathy presents as an inability to witness and aid the suffering of others because we are overwhelmed with our current circumstances.

“The pressures and uncertainty of the world affected my ability to show up for others. I just kept going through the motions of my daily life and never processed the impact of what was happening,” Long Beach-based social worker Shardasia LeDay recalled as she reflected on her experiences over the past two years.

Shardasia LeDay, social workerI kept trying to keep up, but I ended up feeling like I was sinking in quicksand.

Shardasia LeDay, social worker

I kept trying to keep up, but I ended up feeling like I was sinking in quicksand.

Eventually, she left her job due to the constant dread, drain, and pressure she was experiencing. Shardasia’s story is an increasingly common one. We’re not only sharing a mass health crisis. We’re also experiencing anempathy deficit.

Understanding the Empathy Deficit

This waning empathy is called compassion fatigue, a term that was initially attributed to those in helping professionsbut now, after two years of a pandemic, has become a mainstream phenomenon. Eager to get to the heart of our collective experience, Verywell Mind turned to psychotherapistSarah Callender, LCSW.

Sarah Callender, LCSWCompassion fatigue is that slow burn that happens over time when taking on other people’s emotions.

Sarah Callender, LCSW

Compassion fatigue is that slow burn that happens over time when taking on other people’s emotions.

Eventually, that slow burn can turn into difficulty accessing compassion and care for those in pain.

You may be reading this and thinking,A lack of empathy? Sure, I’ve been tired and frustrated, grieving and in pain, but I am not lacking any empathy.Struggling to access empathy often doesn’t come bearing obvious red flags. Instead, it has the same symptoms that can feel as mundane as the fall-out from a stressful day.

Critical indicators of compassion fatigue include:

In addition, those who experience compassion fatigue may feel numb to the scale of death occurring in our world and pressure to stay informed, resulting in general discontent. Others may become uncharacteristically rigid and controlling with irritable tendencies. If any of these scenarios feel familiar, you may be at risk for compassion fatigue.

According to Callender, a massive trigger of compassion fatigue is consistent exposure to trauma where it is difficult to imagine how the suffering could end. Exposure to a tragic event creates sorrow and grief that extend to each of us. Our current pandemic is unique because it highlights multiple pain points related to inequality. Interconnected to COVID-19 are social determinants to health, such as race, gender, disability, and class, resulting in an increased likelihood for oppressed groups to succumb to the virus.Again, we aren’t only facing a virus. We’re witnessing how systemic oppression continues to shape our nation, expanding our shared turmoil.

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Replenishing Our Resources

Empathy is a finite resource. It is natural to avoid anything that reminds you of our nation’s agony as a protective mechanism. However, compassion fatigue isn’t a terminal diagnosis. With some education and tools, we can begin to refill our well of empathy.

“In terms of healing, you have to be preemptive. Lay the foundation for when things go wrong. For example, develop a regular self-care plan and an emergency self-care plan. Share it with others, so you have accountability,” Callender explains.

Creating this foundation helps build a sense of security and functions as a form of healthy control, signaling to the mind that help is here. When so much feels out of our hands, having a self-determined plan provides solace.

Be sure to jot down some reminders of what not to do–for example, if you have a complicated relationship with your sibling, you may not want to call them on a tough day. Write down maladaptive coping tools you know you shouldn’t turn to, like drinking alcohol or isolating yourself. Take a photo of the card so you can reference it anytime. Tuck the physical card into your purse or wallet. Set a reminder to look at your emergency self-care plan at least once a month so it stays at the forefront of your mind.

Don’t wait to use this until you’re at work. Instead, try it out when you’re watching the news, parenting, or engaging in a hard conversation. Each of the circumstances above counts as a form of labor and can deplete empathy reserves. Training your mind to turn off after engaging in challenging work will develop an increased window of tolerance for taxing information.

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Combating compassion fatigue also requires a shift towards a holistic way of living.

“Be in therapy, rest, have breaks to play, find joy, and connect with nature,” Callender explains.

There’s research to back up her suggestions as well. Nature is known to enhance cognitive function,and sleep is essential for our overall health.When nourishing the mind and body, the empathy reserves slowly start to fill up.

Remember What You Can Control

Sarah Callender, LCSWWith the pandemic and civil unrest, we have to decide where our control lies and then work to let go of the rest. One person can’t stop all of these things, but consider where you can bring forth positive change.

With the pandemic and civil unrest, we have to decide where our control lies and then work to let go of the rest. One person can’t stop all of these things, but consider where you can bring forth positive change.

Volunteering and exploring ways to get involved in your community is another way to come back into contact with a sense of control. When we move away from the despair of feeling powerless and towards the energy of bringing forth positive change, we begin to replenish our empathy resources. Remedying compassion fatigue with helping others may seem counterintuitive, but it can decrease the fatigue and increase empathy when balanced with restorative forms of self-care.

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Healing from compassion fatigue is possible.

“Going through compassion fatigue made me realize that I cannot heal everybody. I had to learn my limits,” LeDay shared.

In learning her limits, LeDay realized she could make a difference in her community while maintaining balance for herself. However, healing isn’t without change, and in LeDay’s case, a significant career transition ensued.

“A lot of my former clients had housing issues, and homelessness is a huge problem in our society. After leaving my job, I decided to learn the logistics of real estate so I can eventually help others attain secure housing,” she explained. Though the transition hasn’t been easy, she admits it has increased her quality of life. “I made the right decision for my health,” she concludes.

As for me? Through slowing down, I reunited with my full reserves of empathy. I began scheduling time to rest, set firm boundaries, and spent more time in nature. Over time, I reflected on the events my elders lived through, wondering what wisdom they leaned on during times of hardship.

As a Black clinician providing care toBIPOC folksat an unprecedented time in history, caring for myself is a form of resistance, a battle cry my ancestors never had. The struggle may be far from over, but I am best armed with my spirit intact. I promise you; you are too.

If you or a loved one are struggling with compassion or empathy fatigue, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are struggling with compassion or empathy fatigue, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

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8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Fontanesi L, Marchetti D, Mazza C, Di Giandomenico S, Roma P, Verrocchio MC.The effect of the COVID-19 lockdown on parents: A call to adopt urgent measures.Psychol Trauma. 2020;12(S1):S79-S81. doi:10.1037/tra0000672World Health Organization.WHO Coronavirus (COVID-19) Dashboard. Published January 22nd, 2022.Wolfson JA, Leung CW.Food insecurity and covid-19: disparities in early effects for US adults.Nutrients. 2020;12(6):1648. doi:10.3390/nu12061648Stanley BL, Zanin AC, Avalos BL, Tracy SJ, Town S.Collective emotion during collective trauma: a metaphor analysis of the covid-19 pandemic.Qual Health Res. 2021;31(10):1890-1903. doi:10.1177/10497323211011589Pehlivan T, Güner P.Compassion fatigue: The known and unknown.J Psychiatric Nurs. 2018;9(2):129-134. doi:10.14744/phd.2017.25582Watson MF, Bacigalupe G, Daneshpour M, Han WJ, Parra-Cardona R.Covid-19 interconnectedness: health inequity, the climate crisis, and collective trauma.Fam Process. 2020;59(3):832-846.Bratman GN, Hamilton JP, Daily GC.The impacts of nature experience on human cognitive function and mental health: Nature experience, cognitive function, and mental health.Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2012;1249(1):118-136. doi:10.1111/j.1749-6632.2011.06400.xWorley SL.The extraordinary importance of sleep.P T. 2018;43(12):758-763.

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Fontanesi L, Marchetti D, Mazza C, Di Giandomenico S, Roma P, Verrocchio MC.The effect of the COVID-19 lockdown on parents: A call to adopt urgent measures.Psychol Trauma. 2020;12(S1):S79-S81. doi:10.1037/tra0000672World Health Organization.WHO Coronavirus (COVID-19) Dashboard. Published January 22nd, 2022.Wolfson JA, Leung CW.Food insecurity and covid-19: disparities in early effects for US adults.Nutrients. 2020;12(6):1648. doi:10.3390/nu12061648Stanley BL, Zanin AC, Avalos BL, Tracy SJ, Town S.Collective emotion during collective trauma: a metaphor analysis of the covid-19 pandemic.Qual Health Res. 2021;31(10):1890-1903. doi:10.1177/10497323211011589Pehlivan T, Güner P.Compassion fatigue: The known and unknown.J Psychiatric Nurs. 2018;9(2):129-134. doi:10.14744/phd.2017.25582Watson MF, Bacigalupe G, Daneshpour M, Han WJ, Parra-Cardona R.Covid-19 interconnectedness: health inequity, the climate crisis, and collective trauma.Fam Process. 2020;59(3):832-846.Bratman GN, Hamilton JP, Daily GC.The impacts of nature experience on human cognitive function and mental health: Nature experience, cognitive function, and mental health.Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2012;1249(1):118-136. doi:10.1111/j.1749-6632.2011.06400.xWorley SL.The extraordinary importance of sleep.P T. 2018;43(12):758-763.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Fontanesi L, Marchetti D, Mazza C, Di Giandomenico S, Roma P, Verrocchio MC.The effect of the COVID-19 lockdown on parents: A call to adopt urgent measures.Psychol Trauma. 2020;12(S1):S79-S81. doi:10.1037/tra0000672World Health Organization.WHO Coronavirus (COVID-19) Dashboard. Published January 22nd, 2022.Wolfson JA, Leung CW.Food insecurity and covid-19: disparities in early effects for US adults.Nutrients. 2020;12(6):1648. doi:10.3390/nu12061648Stanley BL, Zanin AC, Avalos BL, Tracy SJ, Town S.Collective emotion during collective trauma: a metaphor analysis of the covid-19 pandemic.Qual Health Res. 2021;31(10):1890-1903. doi:10.1177/10497323211011589Pehlivan T, Güner P.Compassion fatigue: The known and unknown.J Psychiatric Nurs. 2018;9(2):129-134. doi:10.14744/phd.2017.25582Watson MF, Bacigalupe G, Daneshpour M, Han WJ, Parra-Cardona R.Covid-19 interconnectedness: health inequity, the climate crisis, and collective trauma.Fam Process. 2020;59(3):832-846.Bratman GN, Hamilton JP, Daily GC.The impacts of nature experience on human cognitive function and mental health: Nature experience, cognitive function, and mental health.Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2012;1249(1):118-136. doi:10.1111/j.1749-6632.2011.06400.xWorley SL.The extraordinary importance of sleep.P T. 2018;43(12):758-763.

Fontanesi L, Marchetti D, Mazza C, Di Giandomenico S, Roma P, Verrocchio MC.The effect of the COVID-19 lockdown on parents: A call to adopt urgent measures.Psychol Trauma. 2020;12(S1):S79-S81. doi:10.1037/tra0000672

World Health Organization.WHO Coronavirus (COVID-19) Dashboard. Published January 22nd, 2022.

Wolfson JA, Leung CW.Food insecurity and covid-19: disparities in early effects for US adults.Nutrients. 2020;12(6):1648. doi:10.3390/nu12061648

Stanley BL, Zanin AC, Avalos BL, Tracy SJ, Town S.Collective emotion during collective trauma: a metaphor analysis of the covid-19 pandemic.Qual Health Res. 2021;31(10):1890-1903. doi:10.1177/10497323211011589

Pehlivan T, Güner P.Compassion fatigue: The known and unknown.J Psychiatric Nurs. 2018;9(2):129-134. doi:10.14744/phd.2017.25582

Watson MF, Bacigalupe G, Daneshpour M, Han WJ, Parra-Cardona R.Covid-19 interconnectedness: health inequity, the climate crisis, and collective trauma.Fam Process. 2020;59(3):832-846.

Bratman GN, Hamilton JP, Daily GC.The impacts of nature experience on human cognitive function and mental health: Nature experience, cognitive function, and mental health.Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2012;1249(1):118-136. doi:10.1111/j.1749-6632.2011.06400.x

Worley SL.The extraordinary importance of sleep.P T. 2018;43(12):758-763.

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