Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is the 7 Friends Theory?Exploring the Roles of the 7 FriendsThe Psychological Impact of FriendshipsBuilding and Maintaining FriendshipsStaying Grounded While Finding Your Seven Friends

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is the 7 Friends Theory?

Exploring the Roles of the 7 Friends

The Psychological Impact of Friendships

Building and Maintaining Friendships

Staying Grounded While Finding Your Seven Friends

Close

According to TikTok, once you’ve crafted a friend circle with these seven people, you’ve struck gold. While the idea of a lush friend group brimming with various personalities who support you in perfect harmony is lovely, you might wonder how realistic it is. Or, if you happen to be more of a lone wolf, you could feel bad that you don’t have seven trusty friends. You could be thankful to even have one or two.

Understanding the 7 Friends Theory

The 7 Friends Theory was popularized on TikTok with the concept of refraining from putting all your needs on just one friend. This idea quickly went viral, with thousands of creators sharing videos that showed off their seven friends. According to thispopular video,the seven roles are as follows:

The friend you’ve had since you were littleThe friend who could make you laugh in any situationThe friend you can go on forever without talking to, but nothing changesThe friend you can tell anything toThe friend that’s like a sisterThe friend you can’t imagine not being friends withThe friend who knows all about your relationship problems, even though they don’t want to hear about it

There is something to be said about not relying on just one best friend to be youremotional support, cheer you up, listen to all your relationship woes, and be a surrogate sibling. Plus, there is a general consensus that as long as these are positive relationships, the more time you can spend with friends, the better for your overall well-being.However, a key component to remember is that these are quality friendships. Think along the lines of quality over quantity.

How to Tell If You’re In a One-Sided Relationship

Let’s take a look at each of the roles of the seven friends in more detail.

The friend you’ve had since you were little

You know thatone friendwho feels like home because they’ve known you your whole life? This is them. You could have been neighbors growing up or your parents are close friends. There’s a deep comfort associated with this friend based on your history together.

The friend who could make you laugh in any situation

Think of this person as your friend who is always up for a good time. Perhaps you call on them when you’re feeling ready to simplylaughand feel free.

The friend you can go on forever without talking to, but nothing changes

This one is pretty self-explanatory. You may live on opposite sides of the world or have vastly different lifestyles, but any time you pick up the phone to catch up, it is like you talked yesterday.

The friend you can tell anything to

They’re your vault – you know that even with your deepest secrets, they will accept and love you, they won’t shame you, and they won’t tell a soul.

The friend that’s like a sister

The 7 Friends Theory isn’t just limited tofemme-identifyingpeople, so we preferthe friend that’s like a sibling. They know your family, they’ll go into your cupboards to grab a snack without asking, and you know they’ll be in your life forever.

The friend you can’t imagine not being friends with

You text every day, they’re a huge facet of your life, and you can’t imaginenottelling them something important, let alone not having them in your life.

The friend who knows all about your relationship problems, even though they don’t want to hear about it

This friendship role is dicey. Should you have a friend you tell your relationship issues to their detriment, it is likely an unfair relationship due to theemotional laborplaced on this friend.

6 Benefits of Friendship and Why It’s So Important to Stay Close

14 Sure-fire Ways to Find and Make Friends as an Adult

If you are out in the world living your best life, doing what you love, and sharing it (yoga, art, entrepreneurship, dancing, music, fashion, personal growth work, knitting, improv comedy, etc.), you will attract people who are passionate about doing the same. Having shared interests is a fantastic start to meeting new friends to build community with!

Become someone who you would want to be friends with. Learn to like and love your own company—would you want to hang out with a clone of yourself? If not, what would you want to work on so you would?

Know and live in alignment with your values. By being true to who you are, you will attract others who share the same values.

You can also positively contribute to your community. Offer value and recognize the value in others. Commit to leaving people and places better than you found them, each and every time. Don’t be a taker or a matcher, be a giver (with good boundaries — and keep doing the work to set better boundaries so your giving feels nourishing, not draining).

The 7 Friends Theory isn’t realistic for everyone. Between schedules and responsibilities, some may feel challenged to find the time to cultivate friendships. Alternatively, it can be hard to find seven different people you truly connect with. That is completely natural and isn’t something to beat yourself up about.

“Rather than focusing on the [number] of friends you have or the exact categories your friends fit into, recognize that you can define what a meaningful relationship looks like to you,” concludes Sacks. Perhaps the greatest gift of the 7 Friends Theory is that it encourages each of us to turn towards connection and set the intention of friendship. With that energy, the journey can be even better than the outcome.

Tips to Maintain an Interpersonal Relationship

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zGrishina M, Rooney RM, Millar L, Mann R, Mancini VO.The effectiveness of community friendship groups on participant social and mental health: a meta-analysis.Front Psychol.2023;14:1078268. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1078268Song I, Kwon JW, Jeon SM.The relative importance of friendship to happiness increases with age.PLoS One. 2023;18(7):e0288095. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0288095

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zGrishina M, Rooney RM, Millar L, Mann R, Mancini VO.The effectiveness of community friendship groups on participant social and mental health: a meta-analysis.Front Psychol.2023;14:1078268. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1078268Song I, Kwon JW, Jeon SM.The relative importance of friendship to happiness increases with age.PLoS One. 2023;18(7):e0288095. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0288095

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zGrishina M, Rooney RM, Millar L, Mann R, Mancini VO.The effectiveness of community friendship groups on participant social and mental health: a meta-analysis.Front Psychol.2023;14:1078268. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1078268Song I, Kwon JW, Jeon SM.The relative importance of friendship to happiness increases with age.PLoS One. 2023;18(7):e0288095. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0288095

Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-z

Grishina M, Rooney RM, Millar L, Mann R, Mancini VO.The effectiveness of community friendship groups on participant social and mental health: a meta-analysis.Front Psychol.2023;14:1078268. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1078268

Song I, Kwon JW, Jeon SM.The relative importance of friendship to happiness increases with age.PLoS One. 2023;18(7):e0288095. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0288095

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