A Relationship Coach Reveals 5 Mistakes You're Making on Your Dating Profile

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsAppealing to the MassesComplaints and DemandsForgetting to Update Your ProfileFeeling Negative About AppsLying or Exaggerating Details

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Appealing to the Masses

Complaints and Demands

Forgetting to Update Your Profile

Feeling Negative About Apps

Lying or Exaggerating Details

Curating a great dating profile is practically an art form. There are certain steps to follow: The casual, smiling selfie. The group shot with the best friends. The vacation pic in Europe at that new museum opening. The pictures are cool but not too forced. Throw in some funny quips, a fewrelationship dealbreakers, and we’ve got the winning recipe.

These days, we all know how to put our best digital foot forward. But to attract the right matches—notallthe matches—it’s really about showing off who we truly are. Ahead, here are five mistakes we often make on our dating app profiles and how to switch it up to get the results we want.

Getting a lot of matches feels incredible because it’s a temporaryserotonin boost. However, when overdone, too many choices can lead toonline paralysis and cognitive overload. A common mistake is casting too wide of a net instead of being a targeted fisherman in dating. If you want a partner with similar values, don’t be afraid to lean into the biggest niche parts of your life. Remove generic details and add meaningful information; each fact serves as a conversation starter for interaction.

If you’re really into ancient spiritual systems and need a partner on the same page, talk about your love of quantum physics. If you’redating to get married, highlight your desire for long-term relationships. Yes, you’ll match with fewer people, but you’ll also find deeper connections with people who enthusiastically want the same things you do. Isn’t that the point?

Besides, research suggests too much time on the dating apps can be detrimental to our well-being,so it’s a smart play to use it with intention instead of instant gratification.

8 Tips to Improve Your Dating App Etiquette

Your online dating profile is considered prime real estate. Every word counts, and every picture matters. If your bio has something like, “Don’t message me if you can’t handle a real relationship,” or “Dog lovers only, I can’t stand cats,” this doesn’t communicate a dealbreaker as much as it communicates a negative attitude.

Use the promptsfor their original intention, which is to invite matches to begin a conversation. You want a Goldilocks type of dating profile—nothing too intense, revealing, idealized, or negative. A story that’s just right and disarming enough to eventually meet them in person. Then you share more if it’s a fit.

If you have specific preferences around height, dietary restrictions, or drinking preferences, this is an opportunity to use the filters on the dating app to weed them out naturally. Use the bios as a space to talk about what you can bring into a relationship instead of what you’re not looking for.

Compressing the full dynamics of your personality into a tiny phone screen can be challenging. When you start feeling stuck, throw everything out and start fresh. You’re not a static person, so celebrate your multitudes.

Use the bios as a space to talk about what you can bring into a relationship instead of what you’re not looking for.

Let’s set the scene. You’re at brunch, showing your friends your latest matches. As you begin swiping, you start to judge each person: too short, bad taste in music, has a hotter friend, not into their teeth, tired of seeing boating pictures. Sound familiar?

Dating apps have been gamified, commercialized, and oversaturatedto a point where it’s become a real slog. When you’reendlessly scrolling, it’s hard to find joy and compassion in the process. You downloaded the apps because you were looking for intimacy, but when you’re swiping so much, the objectification causes each profile to lose its complex luster.

The matches slowly degrade into dehumanization. When you can ignore, unmatch, andghostpeople through the distance of a screen, it’s common for bad dating habits to thrive. This all perpetuates morestressand toxic dating patterns to subsist on the apps.

If you’re at this point, it’s wise to take yourself out of the dating pool and rebuild your excitement. When you’re feeling connected to yourself again, sign back on and restart your journey.

How to Find the Best Dating App for You

Honesty is always the best policy on dating apps. It’s tempting to tweak some details on your dating profile. Maybe you add an inch to your height, put in a different age, exaggerate your job, or use an old photo. It seems harmless to only show off the positive, sanitized aspects, but this practice isn’t a good use of your time.

When you misrepresent your image and neglect to disclose vital information, your match will feel misled, and it will lead to complications down the line. By being upfront about your photos, nonnegotiables, circumstances, and quirks, it nurtures mutual understanding in your interactions.

The relationship can begin on a sincere note, where you feel like you can meet each other’s needs. Strive to convey yourself authentically, knowing that the right person will value you for exactly who you are.

What This Means For You

50 First Date Questions to Make a Great Impression

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bonilla-Zorita G, Griffiths MD, Kuss DJ.Dating app use and wellbeing: an application-based pilot study employing ecological momentary assessment and objective measures of use.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(9):5631.Coduto KD, Lee-Won RJ, Baek YM.Swiping for trouble: Problematic dating application use among psychosocially distraught individuals and the paths to negative outcomes.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2020;37(1):212-232.

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bonilla-Zorita G, Griffiths MD, Kuss DJ.Dating app use and wellbeing: an application-based pilot study employing ecological momentary assessment and objective measures of use.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(9):5631.Coduto KD, Lee-Won RJ, Baek YM.Swiping for trouble: Problematic dating application use among psychosocially distraught individuals and the paths to negative outcomes.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2020;37(1):212-232.

Bonilla-Zorita G, Griffiths MD, Kuss DJ.Dating app use and wellbeing: an application-based pilot study employing ecological momentary assessment and objective measures of use.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(9):5631.Coduto KD, Lee-Won RJ, Baek YM.Swiping for trouble: Problematic dating application use among psychosocially distraught individuals and the paths to negative outcomes.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2020;37(1):212-232.

Coduto KD, Lee-Won RJ, Baek YM.Swiping for trouble: Problematic dating application use among psychosocially distraught individuals and the paths to negative outcomes.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2020;37(1):212-232.

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What This Means For You#

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