9 Things Not to Say to Someone Who Has Bipolar Disorder

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsOverview of Bipolar DisorderWhat Not to Say"Anything That Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger"“Everybody Has Mood Swings Sometimes"“Everyone Is a Little Bipolar Sometimes"“You Are Psycho"“You’re Acting Like a Maniac"“I Wish I Was Manic So I Could Get Things Done"“But You Seem So Normal"“It Must Be Your Time of the Month"How to Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Overview of Bipolar Disorder

What Not to Say

“Anything That Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger”

“Everybody Has Mood Swings Sometimes”

“Everyone Is a Little Bipolar Sometimes”

“You Are Psycho”

“You’re Acting Like a Maniac”

“I Wish I Was Manic So I Could Get Things Done”

“But You Seem So Normal”

“It Must Be Your Time of the Month”

How to Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder

Close

Knowing what not to say to someone withbipolar disordercan mean the difference between a positive interaction and a painful, infuriating, depressing—even destructive—experience for them. This article discusses some things you can do and say to support someone with bipolar disorder, as well as a few to avoid saying.

Statistics suggest that around 4.4% of adults in the U.S. have bipolar disorder.

Some things you should never say to someone who has bipolar disorder include the following.

“You’re Just Overreacting Again”

Overreacting is asymptom of bipolar disorder,but phrases like this minimize the person’s experience of this symptom. When supporting a loved one living with a mental health condition like bipolar disorder, it’s important that your words demonstrateempathyrather than exasperation.

Your loved one may very well be overreacting compared to how you would perceive the situation, but describing their feelings as “just” overreacting trivializes their lived experience and communicates shame rather than compassion.

Yes, it’s true that some people go through difficult experiences, learn from them, and come out of them stronger. But this phrase is wrong—bipolar disorder can kill. At least 25% to 60% of people with bipolar disorder attemptsuicideand between 4% and 16% die from suicide.

Leave this cliche out of your repertoire. If you have a friend or family member with bipolar disorder, be aware that they might go into a crisis and need your support.

If you or a loved one are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

That’s true. For one thing, 8% of American adults and 4% of adolescents havemajor depressive disorder, having periods ofeuthymiaand depression. Even among those who do not have a diagnosable mental health disorder, people experience changes in mood.

But only people with bipolar disorder,cyclothymia,schizoaffective disorder, and related severe mental illnesses haverepeated and severemood swings between mania or hypomania and depression.

This similar phrase is insensitive for the same reasons. Having mood swings is not the same as having bipolar disorder.Statements like this minimize the severity of the symptoms that a person with bipolar disorder lives with and dismisses their experiences.

Nuts, crazy, cuckoo, deranged, bonkers, or any one of a dozen negative words and phrases that refer to someone’s mental state are insensitive and harmful to people with mental health disorders. You might be used to throwing such phrases around to brand your friends' behavior without realizing how they can be hurtful to someone who iscoping with a disorder.

Though the historical definition of “maniac” referred to someone experiencing mania, today the term carries with it a host of extremely negative and misleading connotations.

Maniacs are often portrayed as violent and deranged in popular culture. Experiencingbipolar maniadoes not automatically mean that a person will be dangerous. Bipolar disorder is also not the same thing asantisocial personality disorderorpsychopathy.

Maybe the person with bipolar disorder is between cycles, or maybe they are good at hiding what they’re feeling.They may be in ahypomanic episodeand only the good things about it are visible from the outside. Consider how this would sound if you had a serious illness such as cancer and someone said, “You can’t be sick, you look so normal!”

Monthly hormonal changes often affect mood, but passing off bipolar disorder as beingnothing more than PMSis just wrong.Bipolar disorder also doesn’t discriminate: It can affect people of all sexes, not just those who menstruate. Any person is liable to take offense at this statement, let alone a person with bipolar disorder.

Recap

Listen

You don’t always need to know exactly what to say. Oftentimes, one of the best things you can do is simply be willing to listen. Try being supportive andcompassionatewhen they share their worries, frustrations, and other concerns.

Provide Practical Support

In addition to being a source of emotional support, you can also lend a hand in practical ways. During mood episodes, people with bipolar disorder may struggle to keep up with the demands of daily life. Ask if you can help them with things like errands and making sure bills are paid.

Encourage Treatment Adherence

Research suggests that about half of all people with bipolar disorderstop adhering to their treatmentto some degree.This can cause symptoms to worsen and can be risky when people experience mood episodes or increased suicidality.

Social support has been shown to be an important factor affecting treatment adherence, so being supportive and optimistic about your loved one’s treatment outlook can make a real difference.

Have a Plan

Because bipolar disorder is often unpredictable and can change quickly, it is important to have a plan for what you can do if your friend is engaging in risky behavior or is feeling suicidal. Create a plan with your friend to determine what steps you can take in these situations to help.

Loving With Bipolar Disorder: A Letter to My Husband

The Takeaway

Take care to avoid saying insensitive phrases to a person with bipolar disorder, or really, to anyone. Let your words be encouraging and supportive, without marginalizing people with psychiatric disorders.

10 Things to Know If You or a Loved One Has Bipolar Disorder

5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.Novick DM, Swartz HA, Frank E.Suicide attempts in bipolar I and bipolar II disorder: A review and meta-analysis of the evidence.Bipolar Disord. 2010;12(1):1-9. doi:10.1111/j.1399-5618.2009.00786.xFaurholt-Jepsen M, Frost M, Busk J, et al.Differences in mood instability in patients with bipolar disorder type I and II: A smartphone-based study.Int J Bipolar Disord. 2019;7(1):5.Office on Women’s Health.Bipolar disorder.Chakrabarti S.Treatment-adherence in bipolar disorder: A patient-centred approach.World J Psychiatry. 2016;6(4):399-409. doi:10.5498/wjp.v6.i4.399

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.Novick DM, Swartz HA, Frank E.Suicide attempts in bipolar I and bipolar II disorder: A review and meta-analysis of the evidence.Bipolar Disord. 2010;12(1):1-9. doi:10.1111/j.1399-5618.2009.00786.xFaurholt-Jepsen M, Frost M, Busk J, et al.Differences in mood instability in patients with bipolar disorder type I and II: A smartphone-based study.Int J Bipolar Disord. 2019;7(1):5.Office on Women’s Health.Bipolar disorder.Chakrabarti S.Treatment-adherence in bipolar disorder: A patient-centred approach.World J Psychiatry. 2016;6(4):399-409. doi:10.5498/wjp.v6.i4.399

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.Novick DM, Swartz HA, Frank E.Suicide attempts in bipolar I and bipolar II disorder: A review and meta-analysis of the evidence.Bipolar Disord. 2010;12(1):1-9. doi:10.1111/j.1399-5618.2009.00786.xFaurholt-Jepsen M, Frost M, Busk J, et al.Differences in mood instability in patients with bipolar disorder type I and II: A smartphone-based study.Int J Bipolar Disord. 2019;7(1):5.Office on Women’s Health.Bipolar disorder.Chakrabarti S.Treatment-adherence in bipolar disorder: A patient-centred approach.World J Psychiatry. 2016;6(4):399-409. doi:10.5498/wjp.v6.i4.399

National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.

Novick DM, Swartz HA, Frank E.Suicide attempts in bipolar I and bipolar II disorder: A review and meta-analysis of the evidence.Bipolar Disord. 2010;12(1):1-9. doi:10.1111/j.1399-5618.2009.00786.x

Faurholt-Jepsen M, Frost M, Busk J, et al.Differences in mood instability in patients with bipolar disorder type I and II: A smartphone-based study.Int J Bipolar Disord. 2019;7(1):5.

Office on Women’s Health.Bipolar disorder.

Chakrabarti S.Treatment-adherence in bipolar disorder: A patient-centred approach.World J Psychiatry. 2016;6(4):399-409. doi:10.5498/wjp.v6.i4.399

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