Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow to KnowThe Split Attraction ModelThe Sexuality SpectrumRelationships TipsHow to Show SupportWhere to Learn More

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

How to Know

The Split Attraction Model

The Sexuality Spectrum

Relationships Tips

How to Show Support

Where to Learn More

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Demiromantic is a term for a type of romantic attraction that falls on the aromantic spectrum. If you have ever felt like you didn’t seem to fall in romantic love as easily as other people or if you rarely experience romantic feelings for other people, there’s a chance that demiromantic might be an identity label that suits you.

While the exact origins of the term are not known, it first appeared online in 2011 on the The Asexual Visibility & Education Network (AVEN) website.Since then, the term has gained greater recognition.

The prefix “demi” in the term demiromantic is derived from the Latin word “dimedius," meaning “half.” It suggests that demiromantics are romantic part of the time in some situations.

When a person identifies as demiromantic, it means that they only experience romantic feelings for someone after they first form a strong emotional bond with that person. It is important to recognize thatnot all people experience romantic attraction in the same way. Nor is romantic attraction synonymous with sexual attraction.

In the case of demiromanticism, someone will only feel romantic feelings for someone after they have built a strong connection and know the other person very well. Because of this, they often experience no romantic feelings at all until they are able to forge that meaningful mental bond with another person.

If you are wondering whether you might be demiromantic, this article explores some of the top signs you might want to consider.

How to Know If You’re Demiromantic

If you think that you might be demiromantic, there are a few signs that this romantic orientation might describe you:

In order to understand what it means to be demiromantic, it can be helpful to learn a bit about thesplit attraction model. This concept suggests that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are two distinct aspects of a person’s orientation.

Sometimes people’s romantic feelings are aligned with their sexual feelings, but that is not always the case.

For example, people can be asexual but still have romantic feelings, and aromantic people can still have sexual feelings.In the case of demiromanticism, people do experience romance, but only in certain instances when they feel a close connection to another person. They may experience sexual attraction without romantic attraction, or they may not experience sexual attraction at all.

Where Demiromantic Falls on the Sexuality Spectrum

There are a number of terms that are similar or related to demiromantic, but that have important differences. It can be helpful to consider where demiromanticism falls on the sexuality spectrum to better understand what it means.

For example,aromanticis a term used to describe a person who does not experience romantic attraction to other people at all. This does not mean that they don’t feel sexual attraction but instead indicates that they never develop romantic feelings.

Not everyone’s experience is the same, however, which is why demiromanticism is considered part of the aromantic spectrum. This spectrum includes aromantic, aroflux, demiromantic, grayromantic, lithoromantic, and recipromantic identities.

Identity Terms to KnowAromantic: People who do not experience romantic attraction.Aroflux: People who experience fluctuations between no romantic attraction and romantic attraction.Lithromantic: People who experience romantic attraction only when it is unreciprocated.Recipromantic: People who only experience romantic attraction after they know that another person is also romantically attracted to them.

Identity Terms to Know

Aromantic: People who do not experience romantic attraction.Aroflux: People who experience fluctuations between no romantic attraction and romantic attraction.Lithromantic: People who experience romantic attraction only when it is unreciprocated.Recipromantic: People who only experience romantic attraction after they know that another person is also romantically attracted to them.

Alloromantic, on the other hand, indicates that a person does experience romantic attraction. It is an umbrella term that encompasses a range of romantic attractions, including opposite-gender, same-gender, all-gender, or both-gender attractions.

Are Demiromantic and Demisexual the Same?

It is important to note that being demiromantic anddemisexualare not the same thing, although they can be related and occur together. The two exist on different spectrums; demiromanticism refers to romantic attraction while demisexuality refers to sexual attraction.

Similar to demiromanticism, people who are demisexual need to feel an emotional connection with another person in order to be sexually attracted to them.

A person can be demiromantic and demisexual. People who are demiromantic can also be of any sexual orientation, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, andpansexual.

Grayromantic vs. Demiromantic

Grayromanticis another similar term that shares some common features with demiromantic. While demiromantic involves only experiencing romantic attraction once an emotional bond is in place, grayromanticism is an umbrella term that describes rarely experiencing romantic attraction.

A person who is grayromantic isn’t aromantic, but they don’t place a great deal of emphasis on romance in their life.

Tips for Navigating a Demiromantic Relationship

When it comes to relationships, the things that make a demiromantic person fall in love involve building close connections with a potential partner. “Like any relationship, open compassionate communication is key,” explainsNatalie Hoskins, PhD, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at Middle Tennessee State University.

So what else might a demiromantic person look for in a relationship?

Communication matters because people in relationships rarely perceive things in the same way, regardless of their romantic or sexual identities, explains Hoskins, a communication scholar who studies gender, health communication, and interpersonal wellness. “Individuals bring immense differences into relationships, such as beliefs, values, and temperaments,” she says.

Because people perceive and process information differently, taking the time to talk to your partner and see things from their perspective is essential.

Natalie Hoskins, PhD, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at Middle Tennessee State UniversityIt is paramount that relationship partners engage openly in dialogue about each other’s feelings and desires and regularly check in to see if each other’s needs are being met.

Natalie Hoskins, PhD, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at Middle Tennessee State University

It is paramount that relationship partners engage openly in dialogue about each other’s feelings and desires and regularly check in to see if each other’s needs are being met.

When it comes to demiromantic relationships, building friendships and spending time getting to know one another are also important. What may start as a platonic friendship may eventually lead to romantic feelings once a sense of closeness has been established.

It is also important to note that it may take more time for someone who is demiromantic to start to feel these romantic feelings. Because they tend not to emphasize romance, it may take a bit longer to decide if what they are feeling is a close friendship or something more amorous.

But that doesn’t mean that demiromantic people should feel pressured to look for romance in their friendships if that’s not what they are feeling. Manyfriendships remain platonicand feelings of romance may never develop no matter how close of a bond you may form.

How to Be Supportive of Demiromantics

If you are in a relationship with someone who is demiromantic, it is important to take steps to understand your partner’s needs and how they may differ from your own.

“Normative beliefs about romance and sexuality influence our interactions, such that partners who are not demiromantic may struggle to understand their demiromantic partner’s needs,” Hoskins says.

If you know someone who is demiromantic, whether they are your partner, a friend, or a family member, there are things you can do to offer your support.

The most important thing you can do is be supportive. Each person is the expert in their identity. Your role is to show acceptance and support for who they are.

Natalie Hoskins, PhD, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at Middle Tennessee State UniversityDemiromantic partners tend to need greater emotional intimacy to achieve romantic or sexual intimacy, but every individual is unique. Careful consideration of individual needs and respect for differences will go a long way to increasing relationship satisfaction and success.

Demiromantic partners tend to need greater emotional intimacy to achieve romantic or sexual intimacy, but every individual is unique. Careful consideration of individual needs and respect for differences will go a long way to increasing relationship satisfaction and success.

If you are interested in learning more about what it means to be demiromantic, or you want to explore other romantic or sexual identities, you may find the following resources helpful:

It’s important to remember you can still have long-lasting, meaningful romantic relationships if you are demiromantic. Romance might not be your top priority and you might not feel an instant connection with another person. Instead, it may be something that you develop for another person over time, which can lead to a lasting connection.

If you are seeking support for issues with coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm, and more, contact theLGBT National Hotlineat1-888-843-4564for one-to-one peer support.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are seeking support for issues with coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm, and more, contact theLGBT National Hotlineat1-888-843-4564for one-to-one peer support.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Demiromantic.Diamond LM.What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire.Psychol Rev. 2003;110(1):173-192. doi:10.1037/0033-295x.110.1.173Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Aromantic spectrum.Identiversity.Aroflux.LGBT Center.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Copulsky D, Hammack PL.Asexuality, graysexuality, and demisexuality: Distinctions in desire, behavior, and identity.J Sex Res. 2023;60(2):221-230. doi:10.1080/00224499.2021.2012113

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Demiromantic.Diamond LM.What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire.Psychol Rev. 2003;110(1):173-192. doi:10.1037/0033-295x.110.1.173Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Aromantic spectrum.Identiversity.Aroflux.LGBT Center.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Copulsky D, Hammack PL.Asexuality, graysexuality, and demisexuality: Distinctions in desire, behavior, and identity.J Sex Res. 2023;60(2):221-230. doi:10.1080/00224499.2021.2012113

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Demiromantic.Diamond LM.What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire.Psychol Rev. 2003;110(1):173-192. doi:10.1037/0033-295x.110.1.173Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Aromantic spectrum.Identiversity.Aroflux.LGBT Center.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Copulsky D, Hammack PL.Asexuality, graysexuality, and demisexuality: Distinctions in desire, behavior, and identity.J Sex Res. 2023;60(2):221-230. doi:10.1080/00224499.2021.2012113

LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Demiromantic.

Diamond LM.What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire.Psychol Rev. 2003;110(1):173-192. doi:10.1037/0033-295x.110.1.173

Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1

Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.

LGBTQIA+ Wiki.Aromantic spectrum.

Identiversity.Aroflux.

LGBT Center.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.

Copulsky D, Hammack PL.Asexuality, graysexuality, and demisexuality: Distinctions in desire, behavior, and identity.J Sex Res. 2023;60(2):221-230. doi:10.1080/00224499.2021.2012113

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