8 Things to Do If You're Feeling Helpless

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsIdentify the SourceUnderstand Why You Might Resist ChangeFocus on What You Can ControlRemember Your Thoughts Might Not Be AccurateChallenge Your Helpless FeelingsRemember Your StrengthsPractice AcceptanceKnow When to Seek HelpNext in Small Ways to Feel Better When You’re Depressed GuideWhat Can Help When You’re Feeling Hopeless

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Identify the Source

Understand Why You Might Resist Change

Focus on What You Can Control

Remember Your Thoughts Might Not Be Accurate

Challenge Your Helpless Feelings

Remember Your Strengths

Practice Acceptance

Know When to Seek Help

Next in Small Ways to Feel Better When You’re Depressed Guide

Feeling helpless is something that many people experience from time to time. It’s a feeling that can strike following a period of stress or as a response totrauma. Sometimes, it can be a reaction to situational stress or a response to world events that seem overwhelming and unsolvable. In other cases, it can be a symptom of a mental illness such asdepression.

“People often feel helpless because they are not taking action,” explains psychotherapistYolanda Renteria, LPC.

Strategies that can help overcome this feeling include:

“Focusing on the things you can control can help you know what step you can take next or if there is even anything that you can do,” Renteria suggests.

At a GlanceThe world can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when dealing with personal challenges and troubling news of world events, including wars, political strife, social unrest, climate change, and other calamities you feel powerless to control. When you feel helpless, it can be hard to stay motivated to change your situation. Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to feel better able to tackle life’s challenges and overcome feeling helpless.

At a Glance

The world can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when dealing with personal challenges and troubling news of world events, including wars, political strife, social unrest, climate change, and other calamities you feel powerless to control. When you feel helpless, it can be hard to stay motivated to change your situation. Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to feel better able to tackle life’s challenges and overcome feeling helpless.

If you feel like there is nothing you can do to change the situation, it can help to assess and evaluate the source of your feelings. Some questions you might ask:

Evaluating some of the factors that might be playing a part in your feelings of helplessness can help you decide what tactics might be the most helpful. For example, if daily stresses are making you feel helpless, finding ways to controlchronic stressmay set you back into a more resilient mindset.

If the problem is something outside of your control, managing how you relate and respond to the problem may be more helpful.

Helplessness is a tough emotion to experience. Sometimes, it can be beneficial to look at some of the reasons you might be resisting feeling empowered.

That doesn’t mean that you are choosing helplessness. It might mean, however, that you are resisting change because the alternative is frightening.

Not feeling helpless might mean that you are ready to make a significant change in your life. But, on the other hand, overcoming those negative feelings might compel you to take on challenges that can also be difficult, challenging, or even overwhelming.

Remember that changing yourmindsetcan be hard (and sometimes scary)! It often comes with its own unique set of challenges. But it also opens up a new world of opportunity and rewards that are worth pursuing.

When you spend too much timeruminatingover the things you cannot change, you are more likely to magnify feelings of helplessness. Focusing on those unchangeable things only leaves you feeling more defeated.

However, paying attention to the things you can control can help you feel more capable. It provides a greater sense of agency and can give you the motivation and energy to work toward making a change.

“People often feel overwhelmed with anxiety from the brain scanning multiple scenarios to fix a problem. A lot of these tend to be ideal scenarios that aren’t realistic,” Renteria says.

Focusing on the things we can control can give us a real guide to what we can do, even if it isn’t what we would have wanted the most.—YOLANDA RENTERIA, LPC

Focusing on the things we can control can give us a real guide to what we can do, even if it isn’t what we would have wanted the most.

—YOLANDA RENTERIA, LPC

For example, you can’t solve climate change, but you can’t get in touch with your representatives to learn more about steps they are taking to support climate change initiatives. You can’t control how other people treat you, but you can control and maintain your boundaries to protect your own mental well-being.

Other things that are within your power to control include:

Focusing on the things that you can control about a situation can help you feel less helpless and more empowered.

Cognitive distortionsare your brain’s way of misinterpreting events, coming to faulty conclusions, and believing things that are just downright wrong.So when you are dealing with a difficult emotion like helplessness, it is important to remember that your brain isn’t always telling you the truth.

So the next time you find yourself going down the “nothing will ever change” or “there’s nothing I can do that will make a difference"rabbit hole of negative thoughts, try to step back for a moment and take a more realistic view.

It isn’t always easy to change these kinds of thought patterns. Learning how to recognize them is the first step toward changing them!

Once you recognize those helpless thoughts and feelings, it is time to start actively challenging and replacing them with more accurate, empowering ones.

This might involve looking for evidence that points to the opposite. For example, if you feel helpless about trying to achieve a specific goal, think about times you have accomplished something you set your mind to.

Look for evidence that disputes your helpless feelings. Think about situations that demonstrate your personal agency.

By actively seeking information that makes you feel more empowered and capable, you’ll be better able to break out of a powerless mindset.

If you feel helpless, it can be beneficial to recognize your own unique talents, strengths, and abilities. Emphasizing these capabilities is a great way to gain more empowerment and motivation to tackle challenges you might be facing in different areas of your life.

Consider making a list of the things you are good at, and then think about how you might use those skills to tackle a problem. Rather than ruminate on your weaknesses, focus your time on appreciating and honing your strengths.

While it might seem counterproductive, acknowledging the things outside of your control may actually improve your ability to accept them.

“The role of the brain is to find solutions. If we let it, the brain can scan solutions for days, months, or even years, which only fuels anxiety, overwhelm, and shut down,” Renteria explains. “When we develop the habit of accepting there’s nothing we can do, we help train the brain to stop ruminating idealized scenarios.”

Research suggests that when people mistakenly believe they can control the future, they actually end up feeling even more distressed.

Focusing on the present, on the things you can control in the here-and-now, can be more effective. Working on controlling things in the present may help people feel less distressed and more satisfied with life.

When you accept things that are not in your hands, you align with the present reality instead of the ideal scenario of how things should be.—YOLANDA RENTERIA, LPC

When you accept things that are not in your hands, you align with the present reality instead of the ideal scenario of how things should be.

Mindfulness, a process that involves becoming more aware of the present without lingering on the past or worrying about the future, may reduce feelings of helplessness.

Helplessness is a difficult emotion that can make it hard to tackle the obstacles that you face in your life. Fortunately, there are things that you can do to feel more capable and empowered.

Your doctor may recommend treatment options such aspsychotherapy, medication, and lifestyle modifications to help you start feeling better and improve your well-being.

If you or a loved one are struggling with feelings of helplessness or depression, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

What Can Help When You’re Feeling Hopeless

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Wang B, Zhao Y, Lu X, Qin B.Cognitive distortion based explainable depression detection and analysis technologies for the adolescent internet users on social media.Front Public Health. 2023;10:1045777. doi:10.3389/fpubh.2022.1045777Harvard Health Publishing.How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions.Curtiss JE, Levine DS, Ander I, Baker AW.Cognitive-behavioral treatments for anxiety and stress-related disorders.Focus (Am Psychiatr Publ). 2021;19(2):184-189. doi:10.1176/appi.focus.20200045Frazier P, Caston J.Event controllability moderates the relation between perceived control and adjustment to stressors.J Loss Trauma. 2015;20(6):526-540. doi:10.1080/15325024.2014.949161Garland EL, Hanley AW, Baker AK, Howard MO.Biobehavioral mechanisms of mindfulness as a treatment for chronic stress: An RDoC perspective.Chronic Stress (Thousand Oaks). 2017;1:2470547017711912. doi:10.1177/2470547017711912Ejdemyr I, Hedström F, Gruber M, Nordin S.Somatic symptoms of helplessness and hopelessness.Scand J Psychol. 2021;62(3):393-400. doi:10.1111/sjop.12713

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Wang B, Zhao Y, Lu X, Qin B.Cognitive distortion based explainable depression detection and analysis technologies for the adolescent internet users on social media.Front Public Health. 2023;10:1045777. doi:10.3389/fpubh.2022.1045777Harvard Health Publishing.How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions.Curtiss JE, Levine DS, Ander I, Baker AW.Cognitive-behavioral treatments for anxiety and stress-related disorders.Focus (Am Psychiatr Publ). 2021;19(2):184-189. doi:10.1176/appi.focus.20200045Frazier P, Caston J.Event controllability moderates the relation between perceived control and adjustment to stressors.J Loss Trauma. 2015;20(6):526-540. doi:10.1080/15325024.2014.949161Garland EL, Hanley AW, Baker AK, Howard MO.Biobehavioral mechanisms of mindfulness as a treatment for chronic stress: An RDoC perspective.Chronic Stress (Thousand Oaks). 2017;1:2470547017711912. doi:10.1177/2470547017711912Ejdemyr I, Hedström F, Gruber M, Nordin S.Somatic symptoms of helplessness and hopelessness.Scand J Psychol. 2021;62(3):393-400. doi:10.1111/sjop.12713

Wang B, Zhao Y, Lu X, Qin B.Cognitive distortion based explainable depression detection and analysis technologies for the adolescent internet users on social media.Front Public Health. 2023;10:1045777. doi:10.3389/fpubh.2022.1045777Harvard Health Publishing.How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions.Curtiss JE, Levine DS, Ander I, Baker AW.Cognitive-behavioral treatments for anxiety and stress-related disorders.Focus (Am Psychiatr Publ). 2021;19(2):184-189. doi:10.1176/appi.focus.20200045Frazier P, Caston J.Event controllability moderates the relation between perceived control and adjustment to stressors.J Loss Trauma. 2015;20(6):526-540. doi:10.1080/15325024.2014.949161Garland EL, Hanley AW, Baker AK, Howard MO.Biobehavioral mechanisms of mindfulness as a treatment for chronic stress: An RDoC perspective.Chronic Stress (Thousand Oaks). 2017;1:2470547017711912. doi:10.1177/2470547017711912Ejdemyr I, Hedström F, Gruber M, Nordin S.Somatic symptoms of helplessness and hopelessness.Scand J Psychol. 2021;62(3):393-400. doi:10.1111/sjop.12713

Harvard Health Publishing.How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions.

Curtiss JE, Levine DS, Ander I, Baker AW.Cognitive-behavioral treatments for anxiety and stress-related disorders.Focus (Am Psychiatr Publ). 2021;19(2):184-189. doi:10.1176/appi.focus.20200045

Frazier P, Caston J.Event controllability moderates the relation between perceived control and adjustment to stressors.J Loss Trauma. 2015;20(6):526-540. doi:10.1080/15325024.2014.949161

Garland EL, Hanley AW, Baker AK, Howard MO.Biobehavioral mechanisms of mindfulness as a treatment for chronic stress: An RDoC perspective.Chronic Stress (Thousand Oaks). 2017;1:2470547017711912. doi:10.1177/2470547017711912

Ejdemyr I, Hedström F, Gruber M, Nordin S.Somatic symptoms of helplessness and hopelessness.Scand J Psychol. 2021;62(3):393-400. doi:10.1111/sjop.12713

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