Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhen Should I End a Conversation?How to Make it Less AwkwardHow to End a Casual ConversationHow to End a Conversation in a Professional SettingHow to End a Conversation With Someone You Don’t LikeHow to End a Conversation When You Are UpsetHow to End a Conversation That’s Making You Uncomfortable

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

When Should I End a Conversation?

How to Make it Less Awkward

How to End a Casual Conversation

How to End a Conversation in a Professional Setting

How to End a Conversation With Someone You Don’t Like

How to End a Conversation When You Are Upset

How to End a Conversation That’s Making You Uncomfortable

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We’ve all been there. You’re talking to someone, and maybe the conversation was great! Or maybe you were just being polite for most of it…either way, it’s losing steam, and you want to leave before the awkwardness reaches a point where you’re considering faking a phone call to yourself.

Frustratingly, you just can’t find the right words to smoothly exit the conversation without embarrassing yourself. Or maybe the other person is still going strong, but your mind left the chat, like, five minutes ago. You don’t want to come across as rude or uninterested, though. So what do you do?

Ending a conversation can sometimes feel as daunting as starting one. Fortunately, there are ways to go about it that not only get the job done but also make the other person feel heard and valued.

Research shows that most people want conversations to end sooner than they actually do, whether they are talking to a stranger or a loved one.[¹]

To avoid dragging out a dying conversation, aim to wrap it up a little after it peaks and before it hits the “lull” stage. This is your neutral zone, which is the easiest point to exit gracefully.

“The mostempatheticapproach is to end a conversation when the content is neutral,” saysRenée Zavislak, a California-based integrative therapist.

The most empathetic approach is to end a conversation when the content is neutral.—RENÉE ZAVISLAK, LMFT

The most empathetic approach is to end a conversation when the content is neutral.

—RENÉE ZAVISLAK, LMFT

If you’re not comfortable getting too personal with someone, exiting in the neutral zone can also help you leave before the conversation becomes intense or emotionally charged.

If you miss your chance and find yourself in a conversation where someone has brought big feelings into the mix, you can still end the conversation, but it may require more nuance, says Zavislak.

For instance, you could say: “I appreciate you sharing this with me. It’s clear that this is a heavy topic. Would you like to talk about something else for a bit? I’m here for you.”

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Signs It’s Time To Wrap Up

Besides timing, paying attention to direct and indirect signals can also be helpful. Telltale signs you should finish up a conversation include:

Time constraints: Be mindful of time, especially if you or your conversation partner has another commitment or appointment to make or if it’s getting late. You can politely acknowledge it in your exit line and part ways. For example:

When we conclude a conversation, we are essentially drawing a line around our time, energy, and priorities. It’s a very direct and deliberate form of asserting personal limits.

“Unfortunately, few of us feel comfortablesetting boundarieswithout an excuse or reason, and consequently, few expect to hear a boundary without an excuse or reason. All of this makes for a lot of awkward social steering,” notes Zavislak.

In addition, societal conditioning to be agreeable, engaging, and responsive to people also contributes to the unspoken tension and unease. This is particularly true for women, saysGabrielle Morse, LMHC.

Forpeople pleasers,wrapping up conversations can be even more challenging because they’ve prioritized others' needs for so long, their own needs feel secondary or unimportant. “They may also be used to managing others’ emotional experiences. So when they begin to challenge their behaviors, it can feel anxiety-provoking,” Morse explains.

To navigate these moments more gracefully, Zavislak suggests using a three-step approach, which she calls the “SAT” (Sandwich-And-Thank) method:

Sandwich

The goal is to “sandwich” your exit line between acomplimentand athank you. So, come up with your compliment slice first and keep it brief. For example, “I’m so glad we met,” “It has been such a pleasure chatting with you,” or “You are lovely to talk to!” Make sure you don’t commit to more conversation in your compliment as you try to end it, Zavislak adds. So, avoid saying something like, “You have such a positive energy! I would love to know what inspires you?”

And

Use the word “and” instead of “but” between your compliment layer and your thank layer to introduce your exit. Here are some examples: “I’m so glad we met, and I need to check in with my friend.” Or, “It’s been such a pleasure chatting with you, and I need to make a call.” While “but” might sometimes convey a slightly negative or contrasting tone, choosing “and” can help end the conversation on a positive note. “That one word makes a huge difference,” says Zavislak.

Thank

You can also accompany this with non-verbal cues like standing up, extending your hand for a handshake, slowing down your pace, walking towards the door, or giving a polite, close-lipped smile to signal your intent to end the conversation.

How to Start a Conversation

Whether you’re wrapping up a conversation with your friend, family member, or an acquaintance, the goal is to be direct while being gracious and appreciative. If you’re engaging with someone talkative, setting a clear time boundary can help you navigate a smooth exit. Here are a few examples:

In-person

With Someone You Just Met

On Phone

Over Text

Small Talk Topics

In professional settings like meetings, conferences, networking events, orjob interviews, it’s important to be firm, respectful, and mindful of time constraints. Here are a few ways to politely end a conversation in work-related scenarios:

In the Office

After a Meeting

On The Phone

At A Networking Event

After a Job Interview

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“Being brief and to the point is a good way to disengage with someone who you really don’t want to engage with,” saysAlison Tarlow, PsyD.

To soften the exit, consider including external factors in your conversation enders, like: “I have to make a call,” “return a text,” “check in on something,” etc. A clear but kind reason helps maintain boundaries while ensuring the other person doesn’t feel dismissed, saysRachelle Sylvain-Spence, LMSW-CPC.

For example, you might say:

It’s important to communicate your needs as calmly as possible when ending a conversation with someone you’re upset with.

Also,be assertivewithout dismissing the other person’s perspective to avoid escalating the situation further. “Expressing your feelings using ‘I’ statements can be incredibly effective,” saysSandra Kushnir, LMFT.

For instance, instead of saying, “You always make me feel overwhelmed,” try, “I feel overwhelmed when the conversation gets heated. Can we take a break and revisit this later?”

“This approach reduces defensiveness and opens the door to a more constructive dialogue,” Kushnir explains.

Here are a few more examples:

How to Use Assertive Communication

It’s also worth considering if an additional boundary needs to be addressed.

Keep in Mind

Just as an impactful introduction sets the tone for the rest of the interaction, a seamless conclusion can leave a lasting impression. The key is to be respectful and mindful of both your needs and that of your conversation partner. It might feel forced or super awkward in the beginning, but be patient with yourself and keep trying different approaches until you find the one that works best for you. With time and practice, you’ll be able to exit a conversation in any situation with confidence and grace.

SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Mastroianni AM, Gilbert DT, Cooney G, Wilson TD.Do conversations end when people want them to?Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2021;118(10). doi:10.1073/pnas.2011809118.

Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Mastroianni AM, Gilbert DT, Cooney G, Wilson TD.Do conversations end when people want them to?Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2021;118(10). doi:10.1073/pnas.2011809118.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Mastroianni AM, Gilbert DT, Cooney G, Wilson TD.Do conversations end when people want them to?Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2021;118(10). doi:10.1073/pnas.2011809118.

Mastroianni AM, Gilbert DT, Cooney G, Wilson TD.Do conversations end when people want them to?Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2021;118(10)

. doi:10.1073/pnas.2011809118.

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