Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsPlanning AheadCommunication and Conflict ResolutionRespect for Personal Space and BoundariesHandling FinancesSafety and Emergency PreparednessEnjoying the Journey
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Planning Ahead
Communication and Conflict Resolution
Respect for Personal Space and Boundaries
Handling Finances
Safety and Emergency Preparedness
Enjoying the Journey
Close
Have you seen those friendship breakup TikToks? You know, the ones where a group of girls come to Miami as friends and leave as enemies? Yep, those videos have traumatized me from taking trips with my besties.
Everyone from TikTok to Reddit is trying to crack the code of these friendship breakups. Some point to the different travel preferences—getting to the airport four hours early; rigidly sticking to the itinerary and allowing zero flexibility—while others highlight the lack ofconflict resolution skillsamong peers. I believe it’s a mixture of both.
Remember, conflict is a normal and natural part of life. Not knowing how to handle conflict is the problem. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to minimize fallouts or arguments with your friends—and this article has a few of them down below.
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Have conversationsbeforeyou board the plane. Talk about things like what you’re hoping to get out of the trip, what you do and don’t want, and your non-negotiables. It’s best to get everything all out in the open sooner rather than later.
Also, be aware of everyone’s habits and preferences. For example, some friends might need alone each day, others might need to rest in bed before dinner. You might have friends who like to sleep in. Take all of this into account when arranging an itinerary, so you can meet everybody’s needs. Ideally, everyone will be involved in the planning—making decisions collectively is important!
—DR. DANIEL GLAZER, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND THE CO-FOUNDER OF UK THERAPY ROOMS
And (!!) plan your budget beforehand. People’s financial situations can vary a lot, so important to be on the same page with finances before the trip.
Assigning Roles and Responsibilities
These roles don’t have to be set in stone—you can decide who takes care of what throughout the trip (or leading up to it). The goal is to keep everyone happy with the tasks they’ve been delegated.
Among the roles you may allocate each other are:
Choosing Activities and Destinations
“Combining different interests and energies of friends may be a little challenging but still can be taken care of with a little planning,” says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, MSc RCC SE, a clinical therapist and the founder ofLotus Therapy.
Planning ahead is best. But alsotry to remain flexiblewhen it comes to creating your itinerary. Don’t forget that it’s fine if you don’t do everything together as a full group (you’re not attached to the hipallthe time!). If some of you want to explore while others rest, why should that be a problem?
Esmaeilpour sums it up: “By inviting friends to express their needs and preferences, most people can be accommodated. Remember, the goal is for everyone to have a good time on the trip, so flexibility and understanding are paramount.”
ReminderKeeping clear, open communication around everyone’s expectations should help to make sure the group dynamic is managed well.
Reminder
Keeping clear, open communication around everyone’s expectations should help to make sure the group dynamic is managed well.
However, it can be good to allow for some spontaneity, too, saysDr. Daniel Glazer, clinical psychologist and the co-founder ofUK Therapy Rooms, “Have a loose outline yet build in ample room for detours and improvisations based on surprise local recommendations or hidden gems you organically discover,” he says. “It breeds collaborative problem-solving, agility, and an overall spirit of adventure—widely underrated bonding tools.”
How to Be More Flexible
“I would recommend having a plan around what happens if there is a conflict before you go,” saysCarolyne Keenan, PsychD. “It’s natural to want to assume that everything will be great and there won’t be arguments, but traveling can be intense and at times a bit stressful and that doesn’t always bring out the best in us.”
She recommends agreeing oncommunication rulesbeforehand. Like if you need space after an argument or how to talk to someone if they’re doing something that annoys you. (“I” statements, anyone?)
Just a FYIThere will likely be a disagreement—it’s only natural when you spend a lot of time with the same people. The important thing is that these conflicts are handled properly.Keep an open mindand allow everyone involved to say what they want to say.
Just a FYI
There will likely be a disagreement—it’s only natural when you spend a lot of time with the same people. The important thing is that these conflicts are handled properly.Keep an open mindand allow everyone involved to say what they want to say.
If the conversation seems to be getting heated, it might be a good idea to let it rest, give everyone time to calm down, and then pick it back up later on. “The key is to compromise and find out a middle path where you both feel heard and respected,” explains Esmaeilpour. “There are times in life when agreeing on the point of disagreement is appropriate for peace to prevail.”
Overcome the Fear of Conflict With Therapy
“Even the closest of friends need some personal space and time to recharge, especially during a trip,” says Esmaeilpour. She recommends incorporating alone time into the itinerary, noting that “it can be as small as an hour in the morning and one afternoon where people can do their thing.”
By respecting everyone’s needs for personal space, feelings of suffocation can be avoided, which makes all the time youspend together even better! Reiterate to everyone that needing personal space isn’t a reflection on any of the relationships you share; it’s just that some people may need more alone time than others.
Traveling With Couples
Something else to consider when traveling with a group of friends is whether there are any couples in the mix. You may vacation in a group of three or four couples or have a mix of couples and singles. Maybe there’s a person whose partner isn’t coming along. Regardless, couples may want some time to themselves as a two. This shouldn’t be a problem as long as it’s factored into the trip itinerary, Dr. Kennan notes.
“Couples can have a different way of communicating to groups of friends,” she says. “If a couple has a particularly volatile relationship or they have a tendency to bicker a lot, then that dynamic might not compliment a group trip too well. Generally, though, I don’t think it will automatically cause problems. Keeping clear, open communication around everyone’s expectations should help to make sure the group dynamic is managed well.”
Nobody wants to be a downer and talk about how to handle money. But these are conversations that need to be had. Not everyone handles finances the same way—and if you’ve never traveled with this group of friends before, you might not realize how your budgeting styles differ.
“I know groups who always do a whip when they travel and pool their money so everything comes from one account and makes things easier when paying for a group,” explains Dr. Keenan. If pooling all the money together isn’t an option, Dr. Keenan recommends apps like Split Wise that record everything you’ve bought and who’s bought it, so you know who’s spending what.
Regardless of what you decide, it’s important that everyone can afford the events on the itinerary, plus have a contingency fund, just in case. Taking everyone’s financial situation into account will minimize the chances of some people feeling resentful or awkward that they’ve underbudgeted and have to bow out of exercursions because they can’t afford them.
I Can’t Afford My Friends. Now, What?
Whether you’re traveling in a group, with family, as a couple, or solo, safety is paramount.
You can never be a hundred percent safe when traveling, but you can minimize the risks of something going wrong. If somewhere unfamiliar, make sure you stay together with each other—particularly if it’s dark or people in your group have been drinking alcohol or taking recreational substances—and familiarize yourself with common scams in your destination.
How to Be Safe While TravelingAlways have emergency contacts—including your destination’s emergency number—and don’t forget about travel insurance, either. (Insurance can come in clutch if you can’t afford unexpected travel costs like medical emergencies or cancellations from inclement weather). If you’re in a non-English speaking country, try to learn some common phrases to make communicating easier.
How to Be Safe While Traveling
Always have emergency contacts—including your destination’s emergency number—and don’t forget about travel insurance, either. (Insurance can come in clutch if you can’t afford unexpected travel costs like medical emergencies or cancellations from inclement weather). If you’re in a non-English speaking country, try to learn some common phrases to make communicating easier.
Traveling with friends can certainly be stressful but it can be so much fun, too. Encourage your friends to enjoy the experience and make some unforgettable memories, even if everyone has to occasionally compromise.
If you’re going somewhere new, immerse yourselves in the local culture and try things you aren’t used to. If things don’t go entirely to plan, don’t fret. It’s unlikely to ruin the whole trip. You might just have to change one or two things on the itinerary. It’s best to be flexible and keep an open mind!
Keep In Mind
Not everyone is a good travel buddy. They might not like traveling or they don’t enjoy the same types of trips as you. For example, you might have a friend who’s great company on a cruise but hates a vacation that involves a long flight. Or, you and your friend may be more suited to nights out and day trips rather than anything longer—and that’s okay!
How to Take the Stress Out of a Trip With Your Partner
2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Stein K.Time off: the social experience of time on vacation.Qual Sociol. 2012;35(3):335-353. doi:10.1007/s11133-012-9228-2Overall NC, McNulty JK.What type of communication during conflict is beneficial for intimate relationships?Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:1-5. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.002
2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Stein K.Time off: the social experience of time on vacation.Qual Sociol. 2012;35(3):335-353. doi:10.1007/s11133-012-9228-2Overall NC, McNulty JK.What type of communication during conflict is beneficial for intimate relationships?Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:1-5. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.002
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Stein K.Time off: the social experience of time on vacation.Qual Sociol. 2012;35(3):335-353. doi:10.1007/s11133-012-9228-2Overall NC, McNulty JK.What type of communication during conflict is beneficial for intimate relationships?Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:1-5. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.002
Stein K.Time off: the social experience of time on vacation.Qual Sociol. 2012;35(3):335-353. doi:10.1007/s11133-012-9228-2
Overall NC, McNulty JK.What type of communication during conflict is beneficial for intimate relationships?Curr Opin Psychol. 2017;13:1-5. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.002
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