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Renata Angerami / Getty ImagesDeciding to embark on therapy is a huge milestone. Months and years from now—after you’ve put in the hard work to identify issues and exact real change—you’ll be able to recognize that first step as a clear inflection point in your life.“Therapy is instrumental in supporting anyone’s mental health,” notesAllison Chase, PhD, CEDS. “It is the opportunity to get professional support in processing the challenging and often overwhelming thoughts and feelings one may struggle with, which can frequently result in unhealthy andmaladaptive behaviors.”Once you’ve made the decision to begin this journey, it only makes sense that you want to ensure you’re getting the most out of each session. Below are six ways you can get the most out of therapy.How to Know When It’s Time to See a Therapist
Renata Angerami / Getty Images
Deciding to embark on therapy is a huge milestone. Months and years from now—after you’ve put in the hard work to identify issues and exact real change—you’ll be able to recognize that first step as a clear inflection point in your life.
“Therapy is instrumental in supporting anyone’s mental health,” notesAllison Chase, PhD, CEDS. “It is the opportunity to get professional support in processing the challenging and often overwhelming thoughts and feelings one may struggle with, which can frequently result in unhealthy andmaladaptive behaviors.”
Once you’ve made the decision to begin this journey, it only makes sense that you want to ensure you’re getting the most out of each session. Below are six ways you can get the most out of therapy.
How to Know When It’s Time to See a Therapist
1
Search for the Best Therapeutic Fit
In the same way you don’t naturally sync with everyone you meet, it can take some time to find the besttherapeutic fitbetween yourself and a therapist. But finding that person is an important part of the journey and will ultimately set you up for success.
In fact, research has found that patients get the most out of therapy when they feel a genuine connection with the mental health professional treating them.
So, how do you find that good fit?
“You can use the consultation to understand the therapist’s specialties, what therapeutic modalities they use, and if their style of therapy can benefit you," advisesLeanna Stockard, LMFT.
While finding a therapist that matches your wants and needs is very important, finding comfort and confidence in the therapist you choose is also key for a positive therapeutic relationship.
2Be Mindful of Appointment TimesTiming won’t always be perfect, but your therapist should be available at times that are convenient for you. Dr. Chase also notes you’ll want to allow yourself time to digest and process any challenging discussions or topics that arise during your session.ALLISON CHASE, PhD, CEDSTry to have some hours after therapy without work meetings or personal obligations to be able to process or stay in the emotional moment of the work that was done.Also, note that when timing or location becomes a hindrance, it may deter you from making sessions that may already be a challenge to attend. You may find thatonline therapyis the most convenient and therefore effective for you, or you may find that a 30-minute drive gives you the time to process what you worked on in your session before diving back into the tasks waiting for you at home or work.The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.
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Be Mindful of Appointment TimesTiming won’t always be perfect, but your therapist should be available at times that are convenient for you. Dr. Chase also notes you’ll want to allow yourself time to digest and process any challenging discussions or topics that arise during your session.ALLISON CHASE, PhD, CEDSTry to have some hours after therapy without work meetings or personal obligations to be able to process or stay in the emotional moment of the work that was done.Also, note that when timing or location becomes a hindrance, it may deter you from making sessions that may already be a challenge to attend. You may find thatonline therapyis the most convenient and therefore effective for you, or you may find that a 30-minute drive gives you the time to process what you worked on in your session before diving back into the tasks waiting for you at home or work.The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.
Be Mindful of Appointment Times
Timing won’t always be perfect, but your therapist should be available at times that are convenient for you. Dr. Chase also notes you’ll want to allow yourself time to digest and process any challenging discussions or topics that arise during your session.
ALLISON CHASE, PhD, CEDSTry to have some hours after therapy without work meetings or personal obligations to be able to process or stay in the emotional moment of the work that was done.
ALLISON CHASE, PhD, CEDS
Try to have some hours after therapy without work meetings or personal obligations to be able to process or stay in the emotional moment of the work that was done.
Also, note that when timing or location becomes a hindrance, it may deter you from making sessions that may already be a challenge to attend. You may find thatonline therapyis the most convenient and therefore effective for you, or you may find that a 30-minute drive gives you the time to process what you worked on in your session before diving back into the tasks waiting for you at home or work.
The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.
3Allow Yourself to Be VulnerableShowing up to therapy is an incredible step. It’s also important to open yourself up once you’ve walked through those doors so you can get the most out of each therapy session.Dr. Chase says that beingvulnerableand honest allows for a greater level of depth of work to help manage any current mental health challenges. Be candid with your thoughts and feelings, share impactful events from your past, and discuss previous therapy experiences.It’s here that a strong therapeutic alliance comes into play. If you like and trust your therapist, you’ll be more comfortable with being open and honest in therapy.12 Things Your Therapist Knows That You May Not
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Allow Yourself to Be VulnerableShowing up to therapy is an incredible step. It’s also important to open yourself up once you’ve walked through those doors so you can get the most out of each therapy session.Dr. Chase says that beingvulnerableand honest allows for a greater level of depth of work to help manage any current mental health challenges. Be candid with your thoughts and feelings, share impactful events from your past, and discuss previous therapy experiences.It’s here that a strong therapeutic alliance comes into play. If you like and trust your therapist, you’ll be more comfortable with being open and honest in therapy.12 Things Your Therapist Knows That You May Not
Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable
Showing up to therapy is an incredible step. It’s also important to open yourself up once you’ve walked through those doors so you can get the most out of each therapy session.
Dr. Chase says that beingvulnerableand honest allows for a greater level of depth of work to help manage any current mental health challenges. Be candid with your thoughts and feelings, share impactful events from your past, and discuss previous therapy experiences.
It’s here that a strong therapeutic alliance comes into play. If you like and trust your therapist, you’ll be more comfortable with being open and honest in therapy.
12 Things Your Therapist Knows That You May Not
4Be Forthright and Set Clear GoalsUnderstand what is bringing you to therapy and communicate this to your therapist. While therapists can provide insight into who you are and help you set and work toward goals, it remains vital for you, as the patient, to explain why you’re there and what you want to work on.One of the most effective strategies is for people to make a list of topics/themes they want to work on for the session so they don’t get caught up in the content or drama of the week and instead are able to make meaningful progress towards their goals.Research suggests that psychotherapy is more effective when patients set clearly-defined goals.“Your therapist can work with you todevelop strategiesthat will help you work toward your goals, and they may even assign youhomework,” notes Stockard. “It is important to keep up with these strategies or homework so [that] you can determine if these skills will be beneficial for you in the long run.”While in therapy, remain honest with yourself and consistently evaluate how progress is going with yourtreatment plan.What Not to Say to Your Therapist
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Be Forthright and Set Clear GoalsUnderstand what is bringing you to therapy and communicate this to your therapist. While therapists can provide insight into who you are and help you set and work toward goals, it remains vital for you, as the patient, to explain why you’re there and what you want to work on.One of the most effective strategies is for people to make a list of topics/themes they want to work on for the session so they don’t get caught up in the content or drama of the week and instead are able to make meaningful progress towards their goals.Research suggests that psychotherapy is more effective when patients set clearly-defined goals.“Your therapist can work with you todevelop strategiesthat will help you work toward your goals, and they may even assign youhomework,” notes Stockard. “It is important to keep up with these strategies or homework so [that] you can determine if these skills will be beneficial for you in the long run.”While in therapy, remain honest with yourself and consistently evaluate how progress is going with yourtreatment plan.What Not to Say to Your Therapist
Be Forthright and Set Clear Goals
Understand what is bringing you to therapy and communicate this to your therapist. While therapists can provide insight into who you are and help you set and work toward goals, it remains vital for you, as the patient, to explain why you’re there and what you want to work on.
One of the most effective strategies is for people to make a list of topics/themes they want to work on for the session so they don’t get caught up in the content or drama of the week and instead are able to make meaningful progress towards their goals.
Research suggests that psychotherapy is more effective when patients set clearly-defined goals.
“Your therapist can work with you todevelop strategiesthat will help you work toward your goals, and they may even assign youhomework,” notes Stockard. “It is important to keep up with these strategies or homework so [that] you can determine if these skills will be beneficial for you in the long run.”
While in therapy, remain honest with yourself and consistently evaluate how progress is going with yourtreatment plan.
What Not to Say to Your Therapist
5Maintain Realistic ExpectationsGoal setting is helpful in getting the most out of therapy, but it’s also imperative to be gentle with yourself. To that end, keep realisticexpectationsfor yourself throughout the therapeutic process.“I frequently recognize two things with my clients,” says Stockard. “Either patients are disappointed that they are not making progress fast enough, or they do not see their progress at all.”She recommends framing therapy the way you would when learning a new skill or building muscle. Start small, accept that there will be faltering along the way, and recognize that the journey is just as important as the end goal.
5
Maintain Realistic ExpectationsGoal setting is helpful in getting the most out of therapy, but it’s also imperative to be gentle with yourself. To that end, keep realisticexpectationsfor yourself throughout the therapeutic process.“I frequently recognize two things with my clients,” says Stockard. “Either patients are disappointed that they are not making progress fast enough, or they do not see their progress at all.”She recommends framing therapy the way you would when learning a new skill or building muscle. Start small, accept that there will be faltering along the way, and recognize that the journey is just as important as the end goal.
Maintain Realistic Expectations
Goal setting is helpful in getting the most out of therapy, but it’s also imperative to be gentle with yourself. To that end, keep realisticexpectationsfor yourself throughout the therapeutic process.
“I frequently recognize two things with my clients,” says Stockard. “Either patients are disappointed that they are not making progress fast enough, or they do not see their progress at all.”
She recommends framing therapy the way you would when learning a new skill or building muscle. Start small, accept that there will be faltering along the way, and recognize that the journey is just as important as the end goal.
6Nurture Yourself After Each SessionTherapy can change your life, but it’s not always going to be a walk in the park. You may leave a session feeling a heavy burden of emotions, unveil painful blind spots you never saw before, and have to do some hard work.LEANNA STOCKARD, LMFTTake time for yourself after a session to process your takeaways, to take care of yourself emotionally, or to do something you love.Be gentle with yourself throughout the process and make sure you’re taking time after (and between) each therapy session to nourish your mind and spirit.
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Nurture Yourself After Each SessionTherapy can change your life, but it’s not always going to be a walk in the park. You may leave a session feeling a heavy burden of emotions, unveil painful blind spots you never saw before, and have to do some hard work.LEANNA STOCKARD, LMFTTake time for yourself after a session to process your takeaways, to take care of yourself emotionally, or to do something you love.Be gentle with yourself throughout the process and make sure you’re taking time after (and between) each therapy session to nourish your mind and spirit.
Nurture Yourself After Each Session
Therapy can change your life, but it’s not always going to be a walk in the park. You may leave a session feeling a heavy burden of emotions, unveil painful blind spots you never saw before, and have to do some hard work.
LEANNA STOCKARD, LMFTTake time for yourself after a session to process your takeaways, to take care of yourself emotionally, or to do something you love.
LEANNA STOCKARD, LMFT
Take time for yourself after a session to process your takeaways, to take care of yourself emotionally, or to do something you love.
Be gentle with yourself throughout the process and make sure you’re taking time after (and between) each therapy session to nourish your mind and spirit.
A Word From VerywellEvery day we experience challenging scenarios, negative thoughts, and complex emotions. Working with the right therapist can help you identify coping mechanisms that work against you in these moments versus helping you navigate them with kindness toward yourself and others. They can also help you figure out new and better ways to adapt and find growth. Stay the course, remain vulnerable, and allow yourself some grace.Should I Tell My Partner What Happens in Therapy?
A Word From Verywell
Every day we experience challenging scenarios, negative thoughts, and complex emotions. Working with the right therapist can help you identify coping mechanisms that work against you in these moments versus helping you navigate them with kindness toward yourself and others. They can also help you figure out new and better ways to adapt and find growth. Stay the course, remain vulnerable, and allow yourself some grace.
Should I Tell My Partner What Happens in Therapy?
2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy.Conclusions and Recommendations of the Interdivisional (APA Divisions 12 & 29) Task Force on Evidence-Based Therapy Relationships.Oliver Lindhiem, Charles B. Bennett, Trina E. Orimoto, and David J. Kolko.A Meta-Analysis of Personalized Treatment Goals in Psychotherapy: A Preliminary Report and Call for More Studies. Clin Psychol (New York). 2016 Jun; 23(2): 165–176. 2015 Jun 17. doi: 10.1111/cpsp.12153.
2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy.Conclusions and Recommendations of the Interdivisional (APA Divisions 12 & 29) Task Force on Evidence-Based Therapy Relationships.Oliver Lindhiem, Charles B. Bennett, Trina E. Orimoto, and David J. Kolko.A Meta-Analysis of Personalized Treatment Goals in Psychotherapy: A Preliminary Report and Call for More Studies. Clin Psychol (New York). 2016 Jun; 23(2): 165–176. 2015 Jun 17. doi: 10.1111/cpsp.12153.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy.Conclusions and Recommendations of the Interdivisional (APA Divisions 12 & 29) Task Force on Evidence-Based Therapy Relationships.Oliver Lindhiem, Charles B. Bennett, Trina E. Orimoto, and David J. Kolko.A Meta-Analysis of Personalized Treatment Goals in Psychotherapy: A Preliminary Report and Call for More Studies. Clin Psychol (New York). 2016 Jun; 23(2): 165–176. 2015 Jun 17. doi: 10.1111/cpsp.12153.
Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy.Conclusions and Recommendations of the Interdivisional (APA Divisions 12 & 29) Task Force on Evidence-Based Therapy Relationships.
Oliver Lindhiem, Charles B. Bennett, Trina E. Orimoto, and David J. Kolko.A Meta-Analysis of Personalized Treatment Goals in Psychotherapy: A Preliminary Report and Call for More Studies. Clin Psychol (New York). 2016 Jun; 23(2): 165–176. 2015 Jun 17. doi: 10.1111/cpsp.12153.
Hannah Owens, LMSW
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