You’re bound to get into an argument every once in a while — whether it’s with your partner a family member, a friend, or a complete stranger. We all possess strong thoughts, aspirations, and opinions that sometimes transform everyday conversations into disputes. But while our tendency to disagree may be shared, did you know that everyone has a different “fighting style” that provides a glimpse into their mental health, too?
How you respond to an argument and the tactics and strategies you use to confront a verbal altercation says a lot about your emotional and mental state. Since few of us are strangers to the realm of combative discussions, you may be asking yourself, “What does my fighting strategy reveal about my inner thoughts and mental health?”
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1. Personal Attacks
Research studies show thatindividuals with low self-esteem were much more likely to show hostilityand aggression toward others when compared to their confident and more secure counterparts.
When people struggle withself-esteem, they can be their own worst enemy and may pick apart their own character traits and flaws. That’s why it’s not uncommon for these same individuals to resort to “below the belt” tactics in an argument, too.
2. Accepting Defeat or Faking Indifference
In many ways, those who accept defeat or feign indifference during a fight are the same. In both instances, the individual doesn’t open up their inner thoughts — regardless of their reasoning.
Whether you fear that your argument is invalid or you can’t find the strength within you to craft an argument orfight, merely accepting defeat or pretending you don’t care may indicate that you think others may find it difficult to understand your thoughts.
This isa common symptom of depression, as individuals who grapple with this mental illness often seek love — rather than arguments or disputes, simply because they don’t have the emotional energy. Whenever it appears their opinions don’t align with those of the opposing party, they may act indifferent or accept defeat in an attempt to feel more loved and accepted.
3. The Silent Treatment
Maybe you’re the type of person who applies the silent treatment tactic every time an argument or heated discussion appears to arise. If you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of the proclamation of “Why aren’t you saying anything to me?” then you may be wondering what this says about your mental state.
While you may have been called out on your quiet tendencies in the past, it may actually be a good thing that you become an active listener whenever a fight erupts. There aremany benefits to being quietduring an argument, especially when your rival is emotional or loud.
If your natural tendency is to take the silent approach during a fight, it may serve as an indication of sound mental health and that you acknowledge that proactive discussions and resolution often arise when one speaker remains calm.
Just be sure to evaluate whether you’rechoosingto give the silent treatment, as making this calculated choice could indicate you’re acting emotionally distant toward to your “opponent.”
4. Openness and Honesty
Perhaps one of the healthiest fighting styles that indicates a positive mental state is adopting a style that promotes both openness and honesty — offering a platform for every party involved in the discussion to speak.
Those who don’t communicate openly and honestly may do well to try to learn and practice. An open and honest fighting style generallysees the most successful resultsfor both parties at the end of an argument.
Find Your Balance
When you establish a sense of respect that lets you and your “opponent” work through the argument with ease, you’ll experience an easier time overcoming whatever difficulties or opposing views arise.
Since psychology reveals thatgetting into healthy arguments can be beneficialto your relationships, it’s crucial to develop a constructive fighting style that not only helps you enjoy deep and proactive communication, but that also enhances a healthy mental state.
Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.
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