Find a TherapistReady to get started?Ready toget started?Add your email to continueEmailGet startedBy submitting your email, you agree to receive reminders and marketing communications.
Ready to get started?Ready toget started?Add your email to continueEmailGet startedBy submitting your email, you agree to receive reminders and marketing communications.
Ready to get started?
Ready toget started?
Add your email to continue
Get started
By submitting your email, you agree to receive reminders and marketing communications.
Mental Health HomepageConditions LibraryConditions CategoryConditions Category5 Things You Didn’t Know About Dating with Depression
DepressionRead Time: 3 Minutes
Published On: January 23, 2019
Reviewed On: January 23, 2019
Updated On: November 2, 2023
OverviewIf you struggle withdepression, it can seem impossible to start or maintainrelationships. But don’t let your depressed brain convince you that you can’t date!In fact, dating and being in a loving relationship is a wonderful way to make you feel like depression isn’t taking over your life. You feel you’re alive again..Before you rush into dating though, keep in mind some of the ways that dating with depression can be very different than dating without.
Overview
If you struggle withdepression, it can seem impossible to start or maintainrelationships. But don’t let your depressed brain convince you that you can’t date!
In fact, dating and being in a loving relationship is a wonderful way to make you feel like depression isn’t taking over your life. You feel you’re alive again..
Before you rush into dating though, keep in mind some of the ways that dating with depression can be very different than dating without.
- Even if you are in love, you may not feel like it all the timeWhen your neurotransmitters are making you feel down and depressed, even the most perfect, loving partner may not be able to elicit a feeling of love and excitement. Rather than assuming that yourpartneris the problem, it is key to understand that depression may be sabotaging your ability to feel loving in the moment.When your depression remits, your love may surge back.
1. Even if you are in love, you may not feel like it all the time
When your neurotransmitters are making you feel down and depressed, even the most perfect, loving partner may not be able to elicit a feeling of love and excitement. Rather than assuming that yourpartneris the problem, it is key to understand that depression may be sabotaging your ability to feel loving in the moment.
When your depression remits, your love may surge back.
- Rejection sensitivity is a key hallmark of depressionThis means that you may be extremely sensitive to any sarcastic, mocking, or unkind remarks from your partner. It also means that you may be predisposed to see even gentle, well-intentioned teasing as “mean.”It is essential that you recognize that depression changes your sensitivity tosocialpain, and therefore may make you react strongly to remarks that were not intended to hurt you.
2. Rejection sensitivity is a key hallmark of depression
This means that you may be extremely sensitive to any sarcastic, mocking, or unkind remarks from your partner. It also means that you may be predisposed to see even gentle, well-intentioned teasing as “mean.”
It is essential that you recognize that depression changes your sensitivity tosocialpain, and therefore may make you react strongly to remarks that were not intended to hurt you.
You may be attracted to your partner but not feel like havingsex, and this doesn’t mean that you and your partner are sexually incompatible. Instead, it may mean that your depression is hijacking your sex drive.
Before concluding that you’re no longer on the same page sexually, be patient. See how your sexual connection fares when your depression remits, or when you’re further along in treatment.
- Depression makes you want to isolateYour partner may be frustrated that you don’t want to meet or hang out with their friends orfamily, especially if this used to be something that you enjoyed doing.You need to have a discussion with your partner about how you feel different about socializing when depressed. Additionally, you can work with your therapist to figure out ways to motivate yourself to socialize more, even when depressed., Social support is important in helping depression remit.
4. Depression makes you want to isolate
Your partner may be frustrated that you don’t want to meet or hang out with their friends orfamily, especially if this used to be something that you enjoyed doing.
You need to have a discussion with your partner about how you feel different about socializing when depressed. Additionally, you can work with your therapist to figure out ways to motivate yourself to socialize more, even when depressed., Social support is important in helping depression remit.
- The same meds that help you, may hurt your relationshipIf you’re onmedication for depression, this often has a tremendous impact on sexual desire, time until orgasm, and ability to orgasm at all. Not to mention that some meds can lead to weight gain, which can negatively impact yourself-imageand your view of yourself as an attractive sexual entity.Additionally, antidepressants quell obsessional thoughts. This is great for depression andanxiety, but may actually stop your brain from spiraling into a positive obsessional loop that you equate with an excited, “in love” feeling.Talking to your Talking to your in-person oronline psychiatristabout different medication options is key. There are many different meds, all with different side effect profiles, and some may work much better for you than others.
5. The same meds that help you, may hurt your relationship
If you’re onmedication for depression, this often has a tremendous impact on sexual desire, time until orgasm, and ability to orgasm at all. Not to mention that some meds can lead to weight gain, which can negatively impact yourself-imageand your view of yourself as an attractive sexual entity.
Additionally, antidepressants quell obsessional thoughts. This is great for depression andanxiety, but may actually stop your brain from spiraling into a positive obsessional loop that you equate with an excited, “in love” feeling.
Talking to your Talking to your in-person oronline psychiatristabout different medication options is key. There are many different meds, all with different side effect profiles, and some may work much better for you than others.
Communicate With Your Partner About Depression
Dating is a jungle, and depression makes it even harder. But, the rewards of being in a fulfilling relationship are great, and if you have the strength and insight to power through your bleakest times, you can date successfully, even with depression.
Dr. Samantha RodmanDr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, PsyD, is originally from Brooklyn, New York and now lives in Potomac, Maryland with her husband and three children. She attended Columbia University for her BA, and received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of Maryland at College Park. Dr. Whiten is a licensed psychologist seeing clients via phone and video. She has been working with individuals, couples, and families in her private practice since 2009.
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, PsyD, is originally from Brooklyn, New York and now lives in Potomac, Maryland with her husband and three children. She attended Columbia University for her BA, and received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of Maryland at College Park. Dr. Whiten is a licensed psychologist seeing clients via phone and video. She has been working with individuals, couples, and families in her private practice since 2009.
Share
Effective and affordable mental health treatmentGet Started
Effective and affordable mental health treatment
Related Articles About DepressionView all articlesDepressionOctober 23, 2024Depression in Nurses: A Mental Health Crisis in HealthcareDepressionOctober 23, 2024Fatherhood Depression: Breaking the Silence on Depressed DadsDepression, ParentingSeptember 18, 2024What to Do if Your Teenager is Making You Feel DepressedDepressionSeptember 18, 2024Post-Weaning Depression: Recognize the Signs & Find SupportDepressionSeptember 18, 2024How to Think Positive When Depressed: Techniques for a Brighter OutlookDepressionSeptember 18, 2024Have You Fallen Out of Love, or Are You Depressed?DepressionJuly 24, 2024How to Prevent Postpartum DepressionDepressionJuly 24, 2024How to Explain Depression to SomeoneDepressionJuly 24, 2024Are There Stages of Depression?DepressionJune 21, 2024Can Adderall Cause Depression?
Related Articles About DepressionView all articles
Related Articles About Depression
DepressionOctober 23, 2024Depression in Nurses: A Mental Health Crisis in HealthcareDepressionOctober 23, 2024Fatherhood Depression: Breaking the Silence on Depressed DadsDepression, ParentingSeptember 18, 2024What to Do if Your Teenager is Making You Feel DepressedDepressionSeptember 18, 2024Post-Weaning Depression: Recognize the Signs & Find SupportDepressionSeptember 18, 2024How to Think Positive When Depressed: Techniques for a Brighter OutlookDepressionSeptember 18, 2024Have You Fallen Out of Love, or Are You Depressed?DepressionJuly 24, 2024How to Prevent Postpartum DepressionDepressionJuly 24, 2024How to Explain Depression to SomeoneDepressionJuly 24, 2024Are There Stages of Depression?DepressionJune 21, 2024Can Adderall Cause Depression?
DepressionOctober 23, 2024Depression in Nurses: A Mental Health Crisis in Healthcare
DepressionOctober 23, 2024Fatherhood Depression: Breaking the Silence on Depressed Dads
Depression, ParentingSeptember 18, 2024What to Do if Your Teenager is Making You Feel Depressed
DepressionSeptember 18, 2024Post-Weaning Depression: Recognize the Signs & Find Support
DepressionSeptember 18, 2024How to Think Positive When Depressed: Techniques for a Brighter Outlook
DepressionSeptember 18, 2024Have You Fallen Out of Love, or Are You Depressed?
DepressionJuly 24, 2024How to Prevent Postpartum Depression
DepressionJuly 24, 2024How to Explain Depression to Someone
DepressionJuly 24, 2024Are There Stages of Depression?
DepressionJune 21, 2024Can Adderall Cause Depression?
If you are in a life threatening situation – don’t use this site. Call 988 or useto get immediate help.
Therapy may be free for you
