Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Asking the Wrong Questions Can Ruin a First Date20 Questions to Avoid on a First DateAlternative Questions to Ask on a First DateTips for Engaging in Meaningful Conversation on a First Date
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
Why Asking the Wrong Questions Can Ruin a First Date
20 Questions to Avoid on a First Date
Alternative Questions to Ask on a First Date
Tips for Engaging in Meaningful Conversation on a First Date
Close
First dates can be exciting and unnerving. Asking the right questions can help us get to know the person and connect with them. That being said, asking the wrong questions can kill the mood and make things awkward or uncomfortable. The last thing we want is for the date to feel like an interview or interrogation.
A first date should function more as a ‘vibe check,’ to determine whether we enjoy spending time with someone, saysSabrina Romanoff,PsyD, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert. “Being too invasive and probing can cause them to become defensive, put their guard up, and take the fun out of getting to know a person naturally.”
If you’re worried about asking the wrong thing, we’ve got you. Here are some questions you should avoid on a first date, and what to ask instead.
At a GlanceFirst dates are about getting to know someone and figuring out whether there are any sparks between you. Be mindful of asking overly personal or judgmental questions, as they can be off-putting. Asking the right questions and sharing anecdotes about yourself can help you keep the conversation fun and lively.
At a Glance
First dates are about getting to know someone and figuring out whether there are any sparks between you. Be mindful of asking overly personal or judgmental questions, as they can be off-putting. Asking the right questions and sharing anecdotes about yourself can help you keep the conversation fun and lively.
Most people will have pros and cons—this is almost guaranteed—but cutting to the chase and finding their flaws may prevent us from experiencing their good traits, Dr. Romanoff explains.
If you enjoy spending time with someone on the first date, there will be time later to ask the important questions. Those questions aren’t worth asking if you haven’t first established that you have fun with the person and share the same vibe.—SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD
If you enjoy spending time with someone on the first date, there will be time later to ask the important questions. Those questions aren’t worth asking if you haven’t first established that you have fun with the person and share the same vibe.
—SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD
These are some questions to avoid asking on a first date:
13 Red Flags in Relationships
If you’re going on a first date, try asking your date some of these questions instead:
5 Green Flags in Relationships
These are some tips that can help you have a fun, interesting, and meaningful conversation:
The best conversations on dates do not start with cookie-cutter questions; rather they arise when we let people into our unique private worlds and gain access into theirs.—SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD
The best conversations on dates do not start with cookie-cutter questions; rather they arise when we let people into our unique private worlds and gain access into theirs.
7 Things You Shouldn’t Talk About on a First Date
3 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Langley EB, Shiota MN.Funny date, creative mate? Unpacking the effect of humor on romantic attraction.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2023 Oct 14:1461672231202288. doi: 10.1177/01461672231202288
Hendrie C, Shirley I.Courtship-feeding in the ‘First Dates’ restaurant is highly predictive of a second date.Appetite. 2019 Oct 1;141:104329. doi: 10.1016/j.appet.2019.104329
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