19 First Date Ideas for People With Social Anxiety

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsChallenges to ConsiderActivity-Based Date IdeasHelpful StrategiesMore Tips

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Challenges to Consider

Activity-Based Date Ideas

Helpful Strategies

More Tips

Close

First-date anxiety can be difficult, particularly if you already live with anxiety in other areas of your life. Going on a date with someone new may bring up concerns about being judged and evaluated, as well as jitters about whether you can keep up your end of the conversation or make a good impression.

If you live withsocial anxiety disorder (SAD)and have managed tomeet someonewho you feel comfortable going on a date with, you’ve already taken a significant step toward overcoming your fears.

Given that social anxiety is related to difficulties even in established romantic relationships,it’s important to recognize that first dates, though exciting, may also be emotionally taxing. However, planning a first date that maximizes your strengths and minimizes anxiety can be helpful.

At a GlanceFirst dates can be extra nerve-wracking if you have social anxiety disorder. Dinner dates can be a challenge, since they involve lots of eye contact and conversation with someone you don’t know well. Other options that involve participating in some type of an activity are often less anxiety-provoking. If you have social anxiety and are struggling to figure out what to do on a first date, keep reading to explore some great options that will help you feel more comfortable.

At a Glance

First dates can be extra nerve-wracking if you have social anxiety disorder. Dinner dates can be a challenge, since they involve lots of eye contact and conversation with someone you don’t know well. Other options that involve participating in some type of an activity are often less anxiety-provoking. If you have social anxiety and are struggling to figure out what to do on a first date, keep reading to explore some great options that will help you feel more comfortable.

Why Social Anxiety Makes Dinner Dates Difficult

While dinner and a movie is the traditional first date choice, it’s not the best option if you live with social anxiety. This type of date can be anxiety-provoking as it may focus on aspects that can trigger many of your fears such as makingeye contact, keeping aconversationgoing, and eating in front of someone else.

If you do choose to go for a dinner date, consider going somewhere that will keep you entertained such as make-your-own pizza orMedieval Times. This takes the pressure off of you both as you get to know each other. A fun atmosphere will also help you to relax and laugh at yourself.

Social Anxiety Disorder Tips

Choose an Activity-Based Date

Another good choice is to plan a first date that is activity-based.Activitieskeep both you and your date busy, give you something to talk about, and bring you closer together. Here are some inspirational first date ideas to get you started:

Social Anxiety Disorder

Helpful Dating Strategies If You Have Social Anxiety

There are a number of self-help strategies you can use to help make dating a little bit easier if you have social anxiety. Some steps you can take include:

Think of Things to Discuss

Making conversation can be tough when you feel socially anxious. People with social anxiety have a tendency to imagine conversations or envision worst-case scenarios, which can create further anxiety.

Instead, focus on coming up with some general topics you might like to discuss. Having some goodsmall-talk conversation starterscan help guide a conversation. Remember to ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing.

Use Relaxation Strategies

Taking a fewdeep, steadying breathscan also help calm your mind and body.

Practice

One of the best ways to combat feelings of social anxiety when dating is to get more practice and experience going on dates. Dating apps can be a great way to meet people and get more practice meeting potential romantic interests. Research suggests that people who have social anxiety tend to use dating apps more often.

Plus, meeting people through an app is a great way to build an initial connection and spend a little time talking before you decide to meet face-to-face. If casual dating isn’t your thing, you might work on developing new friendships and social connections with apps geared toward finding friends.

More Tips for Dating With Social Anxiety

Self Help for Social Anxiety Disorder

Keep in Mind

If you live with social anxiety and have not yet receivedtreatmentthat has enabled you to move forward in areas of your life, including romantic relationships, now is the time to reach out forhelp. While it can be tough to reach out, treatment can help you feel a lot better. A licensed mental health professional can give you the tools you need to manage your symptoms so you can live your best life.

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Porter E, Chambless DL, Keefe JR.Criticism in the romantic relationships of individuals with social anxiety.Behav Ther. 2017;48(4):517-532. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.11.002National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Social anxiety disorder and alcohol use.Banushi B, Brendle M, Ragnhildstveit A, et al.Breathwork interventions for adults with clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders: A scoping review.Brain Sci. 2023;13(2):256. doi:10.3390/brainsci13020256Lenton-Brym AP, Santiago VA, Fredborg BK, Antony MM.Associations between social anxiety, depression, and use of mobile dating applications.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2021;24(2):86-93. doi:10.1089/cyber.2019.0561Additional ReadingPorter E, Chambless DL.Shying away from a good thing: social anxiety in romantic relationships. J Clin Psychol. 2014 Jun;70(6):546–61. doi:10.1002/jclp.22048

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Porter E, Chambless DL, Keefe JR.Criticism in the romantic relationships of individuals with social anxiety.Behav Ther. 2017;48(4):517-532. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.11.002National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Social anxiety disorder and alcohol use.Banushi B, Brendle M, Ragnhildstveit A, et al.Breathwork interventions for adults with clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders: A scoping review.Brain Sci. 2023;13(2):256. doi:10.3390/brainsci13020256Lenton-Brym AP, Santiago VA, Fredborg BK, Antony MM.Associations between social anxiety, depression, and use of mobile dating applications.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2021;24(2):86-93. doi:10.1089/cyber.2019.0561Additional ReadingPorter E, Chambless DL.Shying away from a good thing: social anxiety in romantic relationships. J Clin Psychol. 2014 Jun;70(6):546–61. doi:10.1002/jclp.22048

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Porter E, Chambless DL, Keefe JR.Criticism in the romantic relationships of individuals with social anxiety.Behav Ther. 2017;48(4):517-532. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.11.002National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Social anxiety disorder and alcohol use.Banushi B, Brendle M, Ragnhildstveit A, et al.Breathwork interventions for adults with clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders: A scoping review.Brain Sci. 2023;13(2):256. doi:10.3390/brainsci13020256Lenton-Brym AP, Santiago VA, Fredborg BK, Antony MM.Associations between social anxiety, depression, and use of mobile dating applications.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2021;24(2):86-93. doi:10.1089/cyber.2019.0561

Porter E, Chambless DL, Keefe JR.Criticism in the romantic relationships of individuals with social anxiety.Behav Ther. 2017;48(4):517-532. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2016.11.002

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Social anxiety disorder and alcohol use.

Banushi B, Brendle M, Ragnhildstveit A, et al.Breathwork interventions for adults with clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders: A scoping review.Brain Sci. 2023;13(2):256. doi:10.3390/brainsci13020256

Lenton-Brym AP, Santiago VA, Fredborg BK, Antony MM.Associations between social anxiety, depression, and use of mobile dating applications.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2021;24(2):86-93. doi:10.1089/cyber.2019.0561

Porter E, Chambless DL.Shying away from a good thing: social anxiety in romantic relationships. J Clin Psychol. 2014 Jun;70(6):546–61. doi:10.1002/jclp.22048

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