12 Things Your Therapist Knows That You May Not

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsYou’re Not BrokenYou’re Not a Bad PersonMental Health is ComplexTherapeutic Rapport MattersYou May Not Agree On EverythingWhat You Say Is ConfidentialYour Results Are Dependent on YouYou’re In ControlYou’re Not AloneRecognizing Your Triggers Is KeyHealing Isn’t LinearRelapses Are Common

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

You’re Not Broken

You’re Not a Bad Person

Mental Health is Complex

Therapeutic Rapport Matters

You May Not Agree On Everything

What You Say Is Confidential

Your Results Are Dependent on You

You’re In Control

You’re Not Alone

Recognizing Your Triggers Is Key

Healing Isn’t Linear

Relapses Are Common

Amental health therapistcan help you work through difficult situations and emotions. But if you’re new to therapy, you might have a lot of questions. For instance, you may wonder, “How do I open up andtell my therapist what I really feel?” or “Will my therapist think I’m ‘crazy’ or a lost cause?”

Even people who’ve been in treatment for years sometimes have unanswered questions. (“Can my therapist tell if I’ve relapsed?") If you have any issues or concerns about mental health therapy, here’s what your therapist knows that you may not.

At a GlanceDon’t worry, your therapist isn’t keep secrets or judging you. While you might be wondering about what your therapist doesn’t tell you, your therapist wants you to have the information you need to heal and thrive. Some key things they want you to know include that:mental health is complex,struggling with mental health problems or addictions doesn’t make you bad or broken,what you say to your therapist is confidential, andyour progress hinges on the work you’re willing to put in.Remember, you’re in control of your treatment. Knowing you’re not alone can help you work through the ups and downs that naturally happen during the process.

At a Glance

Don’t worry, your therapist isn’t keep secrets or judging you. While you might be wondering about what your therapist doesn’t tell you, your therapist wants you to have the information you need to heal and thrive. Some key things they want you to know include that:mental health is complex,struggling with mental health problems or addictions doesn’t make you bad or broken,what you say to your therapist is confidential, andyour progress hinges on the work you’re willing to put in.Remember, you’re in control of your treatment. Knowing you’re not alone can help you work through the ups and downs that naturally happen during the process.

Don’t worry, your therapist isn’t keep secrets or judging you. While you might be wondering about what your therapist doesn’t tell you, your therapist wants you to have the information you need to heal and thrive. Some key things they want you to know include that:

Remember, you’re in control of your treatment. Knowing you’re not alone can help you work through the ups and downs that naturally happen during the process.

6 Ways to Get the Most Out of Therapy

Engaging in Therapy Doesn’t Mean You Are Broken

There is astigma surrounding mental health. This can make you feel like going to therapy somehow means that you are broken and need to be fixed. But this isn’t what mental health therapy is about, or even what it is.

The American Psychological Association explains thatpsychotherapyis designed to “help people of all ages live happier, healthier and more productive lives.“Notice that there is nothing about being broken in this definition.

Instead, engaging in therapy is about gaining the tools needed to live a better life.

Having an Addiction or Mental Health Condition Doesn’t Make You a “Bad” Person

Just as engaging in therapy doesn’t mean that you are broken, having anaddictionormental health disorderdoesn’t mean that you are a “bad” person. These are merely issues that you face versus being a sign of your character or defining who you are.

Many factors contribute to a person’s mental health, including genetics, whether you’ve experiencedtrauma, and even your diet and level of physical activity.

Some factors are things you can change, but many are simply outside of your control. But even the ones that are modifiable still don’t make you a bad person. They simply make you human.

Your therapist understands that mental health can be rather complex. There are many different reasons for having certain thoughts and behaviors. Sometimes, multiple factors are at play, such as having acomorbid disorder(having two or more disorders at once).

For instance, roughly 60% of people withanxietyalso havedepression.Additionally, about half of people with a mental illness also have asubstance use disorder.

A therapist can help you work through all your conditions and symptoms. There might even be some issues affecting you that you don’t realize. This underscores how complex mental health can be, also highlighting the importance of getting a therapist’s help.

Not Every Therapist and Client are the Right Fit

Finding the right therapist is like finding the right partner or spouse. It’s important to find someone thatyou get along with, someone you feel like you can trust, and someone you are willing to be vulnerable with or it isn’t going to work.

Finding the best therapist for you can sometimes be a trial and error process. Go to a few sessions with a therapist and see how you feel. Ask yourself:

You may find it helpful to find a therapist who specializes in a certain area, who shares your identify, or who isculturally sensitive. Aninclusive therapist, for example, may have experience dealing with specific issues that affect your mental well-being.

A Therapist Doesn’t Have to Agree With You to Be Able to Help

Finding the right therapist isn’t about finding someone who agrees with you. In fact, part of what a therapist does is to challenge the thoughts and behaviors theydon’tagree with—which are often the same thoughts and behaviors that are causing you trouble in your life.

Because you tell a therapist your deepest, darkest feelings, you may come to think of them as a friend.But they’re not. They are a trained mental health professional who can provide the strategies andtools for overcoming some of your biggest challenges. And they don’t have to agree with you to be able to do this.

What You Say in Therapy Stays in Therapy

One of the barriers to opening up fully in a therapy session is a fear thatwhat you saywill be shared with the rest of the world. However, what is said in the therapy session stays in the therapy session. In fact, protecting a client’s privacy is part of a therapist’scode of ethics.

Simply showing up to your mental health therapy session isn’t enough. You have to want help with youraddiction,mental health disorder, or other challenges you face. You also have to be willing to put in the work to get the desired results.

If you are telling yourself, “I’ll just go in and my therapist will fix what’s wrong with me,” this isn’t how therapy works. Instead, your therapist is more of a guide.

Your therapist will give you the tools you need, but the results you achieve depend on how committed and engaged you are in the process.

You Are in the Driver’s Seat, Not the Therapist

There is a huge misconception that a therapist is there to tell you exactly what you need to do to start feeling better mentally. While they can certainly help, they aren’t in the driver’s seat. You are. They are more a passenger who is holding the GPS.

The goal of therapy is to help you find (and decide) the best course of action for you. This involves asking you questions to help you better understand yourself and recognizing wherefaulty thought processesmay exist.

The therapist can provide the steps to get where you want to be but you are always in the driver’s seat.

You’re Not the Only One With Your Specific Issue

If you are struggling with addiction or have a mental health issue, it’s easy to feel like you are alone. You may fear that “If I tell my therapist what’s really going on, they’ll think I’m crazy or beyond help.” Yet, the reality is that you’re not the only person who is dealing with your specific issue.

Therapists spend their days working with people who face similar challenges. Although your situation may be unique in some regards, you’re not likely to say something during your session that the therapist hasn’t heard before.

Finding a therapistwho is experienced with your addiction, mental health condition, or the struggles you face can help ease concerns that you’ll shock them with your thoughts or behaviors since they’ve worked with others like you.

We don’t exist in a vacuum. This means that what goes on around us has the ability to impact how we think, feel, and behave. Creatingmore positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors often begins with recognizing what triggers us to go the other way.

Your therapist can help you realize what people or situations in your life are triggering your unhealthy thought and behavior processes. Finding ways to avoid these triggers can help, as can coming up with healthier responses when they do occur. Your therapist can help with both.

Therapy Isn’t a Linear Journey

Some people believe that once they get into therapy, things will suddenly improve and they will feel better and better with each session. Unfortunately, this isn’t reality as therapy isn’t a linear journey. It generally contains several ups and downs along the way.

You may leave some sessions feeling better and you may leave some feeling worse. Both are part of healing andrecovery.

Sometimes you have to bring negative emotions to the surface to deal with them. Knowing this beforehand can keep you from thinking that yourtherapy isn’t workingif you don’t always feel good.

Your Therapist Can Tell If You’ve Relapsed

A mental health professional is trained to recognize the signs of relapse. Truth is important in therapy. Being honest with them about your actions and feelings is critical to helping them help you.

If you aren’t truthful about what it is you’re facing, they can’t help you find solutions.

Takeaways

Understanding what a therapist does and doesn’t do can help you have reasonable expectations about the process. Finding a therapist that you feel comfortable with and can talk to openly is also important and helps you know that “my therapist is the right therapist for me.”

The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Therapy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About mental health.National Alliance on Mental Illness.The comorbidity of anxiety and depression.National Institute on Drug Abuse.Comorbidity: Substance use disorders and other mental illnesses DrugFacts.Kadur J, Lüdemann J, Andreas S.Effects of the therapist’s statements on the patient’s outcome and the therapeutic alliance: A systematic review.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2020;27(2):168-178. doi:10.1002/cpp.2416American Mental Health Counselors Association.2020 AMHCA Code of Ethics.American Psychological Association.Protecting your privacy: Understanding confidentiality.National Institute on Drug Abuse.Drugs, brains, and behavior: The science of addiction.

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Therapy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About mental health.National Alliance on Mental Illness.The comorbidity of anxiety and depression.National Institute on Drug Abuse.Comorbidity: Substance use disorders and other mental illnesses DrugFacts.Kadur J, Lüdemann J, Andreas S.Effects of the therapist’s statements on the patient’s outcome and the therapeutic alliance: A systematic review.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2020;27(2):168-178. doi:10.1002/cpp.2416American Mental Health Counselors Association.2020 AMHCA Code of Ethics.American Psychological Association.Protecting your privacy: Understanding confidentiality.National Institute on Drug Abuse.Drugs, brains, and behavior: The science of addiction.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

American Psychological Association.Therapy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About mental health.National Alliance on Mental Illness.The comorbidity of anxiety and depression.National Institute on Drug Abuse.Comorbidity: Substance use disorders and other mental illnesses DrugFacts.Kadur J, Lüdemann J, Andreas S.Effects of the therapist’s statements on the patient’s outcome and the therapeutic alliance: A systematic review.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2020;27(2):168-178. doi:10.1002/cpp.2416American Mental Health Counselors Association.2020 AMHCA Code of Ethics.American Psychological Association.Protecting your privacy: Understanding confidentiality.National Institute on Drug Abuse.Drugs, brains, and behavior: The science of addiction.

American Psychological Association.Therapy.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About mental health.

National Alliance on Mental Illness.The comorbidity of anxiety and depression.

National Institute on Drug Abuse.Comorbidity: Substance use disorders and other mental illnesses DrugFacts.

Kadur J, Lüdemann J, Andreas S.Effects of the therapist’s statements on the patient’s outcome and the therapeutic alliance: A systematic review.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2020;27(2):168-178. doi:10.1002/cpp.2416

American Mental Health Counselors Association.2020 AMHCA Code of Ethics.

American Psychological Association.Protecting your privacy: Understanding confidentiality.

National Institute on Drug Abuse.Drugs, brains, and behavior: The science of addiction.

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