Updated on 04/24/2023
Maybe you’re looking to tie the knot, or maybe you’re thinking about breathing new life into a marriage that’s gotten a little stale. Perhaps you’d just like your partner not to take you for granted or vice versa. All of these are great examples of relationship goals that couples can establish to work together on to improve the happiness of their partnership.
Are Relationship Goals Necessary?Across the board, that answer is a resounding yes, relationship goals are necessary for a happy and healthy relationship.Marriage Counseling OnlineStrengthen your marriage with the help of an experienced, licensed marriage counselor, from home and at your convenience.Start hereCouples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn moreIt’s easy to assume that love is enough to make a relationship strong. However,healthy relationshipsrequire both loveandcommitment. Setting relationship goals — short-term and long-term — can help a relationship grow stronger while making sure both partners (or all parties if you are in a polyamorous relationship) are on the same page and deriving happiness from the relationship. Relationship goals will also help you figure out earlier on if you and your partner aren’t compatible — or even if the relationship is toxic.If you are looking for ideas on the most important relationship goals or are curious about what an ideal romantic relationship looks like, here is a guide to improving your partnership including 12 relationship goals for a stronger bond.
Are Relationship Goals Necessary?
Across the board, that answer is a resounding yes, relationship goals are necessary for a happy and healthy relationship.
Marriage Counseling OnlineStrengthen your marriage with the help of an experienced, licensed marriage counselor, from home and at your convenience.Start here
Marriage Counseling OnlineStrengthen your marriage with the help of an experienced, licensed marriage counselor, from home and at your convenience.
Marriage Counseling Online
Strengthen your marriage with the help of an experienced, licensed marriage counselor, from home and at your convenience.
Start here
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
It’s easy to assume that love is enough to make a relationship strong. However,healthy relationshipsrequire both loveandcommitment. Setting relationship goals — short-term and long-term — can help a relationship grow stronger while making sure both partners (or all parties if you are in a polyamorous relationship) are on the same page and deriving happiness from the relationship. Relationship goals will also help you figure out earlier on if you and your partner aren’t compatible — or even if the relationship is toxic.
If you are looking for ideas on the most important relationship goals or are curious about what an ideal romantic relationship looks like, here is a guide to improving your partnership including 12 relationship goals for a stronger bond.
12 Relationship Goals for a Happier, Stronger, and Improved Relationship
1. Embrace imperfection
Of the relationship goals that are important to remember, but easy to forget, include that no relationship is perfect. You are not perfect, your partner is not perfect, you are both two imperfect people who love each other and have chosen to do life together. Fairy tales, movies, andsocial mediaoften portray relationships as flawless, which can give the false impression that a healthy relationship is free of conflict. Try not to compare your relationship to anyone else’s — especially one that is made up for entertainment’s sake — and be more realistic with your own imperfections and those of your partner’s.
2. Understand each other
3. Align on core values and beliefs
Central to your relationship goals should be to make sure you and your partner are aligned on your core values and beliefs. This is not a one and done conversation, but rather an ongoing conversation as your circumstances change and you evolve as both individuals and as a unit. For example, let’s say five years ago being able to pick up and move whenever you wanted was a core value for the two of you. But now you are craving stability and would like to settle down somewhere. It is important to make sure you talk to your partner about how your values might have shifted so you can decide how to move forward together.
4. Improve communication
Everyone comes into a romantic relationship with a different upbringing, world view, strengths, and weaknesses. Don’t assume you know how your partner feels about a certain topic, ask them! Your shared smart goals should also include continually developing your communication skills with each other — critical to a strong relationship. Seeking support and relationship advice through in-person oronline couples therapycan help you learn to understand each other better and improve your communication.
5. Create a judgement-free zone
No one likes to be criticized, especially when you are sharing something difficult with your partner. Creating a judgement-free zone will help make sure your partner feels comfortable being open and honest with you. If you feel agitated and are not sure you will be able to withhold judgement, find a way to take a time out and resume the difficult conversation when you feel calmer. Whilehaving difficult conversationsis never easy, it’s necessary as a couple goal if you want to grow your relationship in the long term.
6. Emotional management
Your partner is not a mind reader. It’s up to each individual to express their needs clearly to the other person. For example, if your partner said something that upset you, instead of giving them the silent treatment, blowing up, or name-calling, simply state: “That hurt my feelings.” A real relationship goal that can be very helpful is to focus on your own internal state and how what your partner did or said made you feel.
7. Be vulnerable
Beingvulnerablecan be scary at first, but feeling free to express yourself is the foundation of a happy and healthy relationship. All relationships are made up of good and bad days. How you show up for each other on the bad days will be telling of your long-term viability. It is essential that each person feels like they are loved unconditionally and doesn’t need to hide their feelings for any reason.
8. Make each other a priority
Especially as time goes on, it’s important to remember to make each other a priority. With our busy lives and packed schedules, it’s easy to put your long term relationship on the back burner. However, shared goals should always include consistent love and attention. Putting in the effort is essential to a healthy long-term relationship.
9. Weather the storm together
Life can throw a curveball at any moment — a loved one dies, a child is sick, your partner is laid off, you get in an accident — and being in a relationship means you’re committing to weathering the storm together. It’s easy to be there for each other when life is going well. But the true test of astrong relationshipis if you can be there for each other when life is difficult. If your partner is going through a hard time, focus on how you can best support them. If you are the one working though something, make it a real relationship goal to communicate your needs. As mentioned above, your partner isn’t a mind reader!
10. Mutual respect
11. Friendship
12. Intimacy
Part of prioritizing your relationship — setting relationship goals — is prioritizing time for intimacy with your romantic partner. If the hustle and bustle of everyday life is getting in the way of your sex life, it may be time to re-think how you are spending your time and why being intimate with your partner is falling to the bottom of your to-do list. If the two of you have different needs and expectations around sex,seeking the help of a trained sex therapistfor relationship advice could be beneficial.
It’s About Intimacy, Effective Communication, Friendship, Respect, and Understanding
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