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Whileintrovertsmake up anywhere from one third to one half of the population,people with this personality type often report that others do not seem to understand them. Here are some of the biggest myths, misconceptions, and misunderstandings about what it means to be an introvert—and if you’re unsure whether you are one, take ourintrovert vs. extrovert testto find out before reading on.1:348 Signs You’re an Introvert
Whileintrovertsmake up anywhere from one third to one half of the population,people with this personality type often report that others do not seem to understand them. Here are some of the biggest myths, misconceptions, and misunderstandings about what it means to be an introvert—and if you’re unsure whether you are one, take ourintrovert vs. extrovert testto find out before reading on.
1:348 Signs You’re an Introvert
1:34
8 Signs You’re an Introvert
1Quiet Doesn’t Mean ShyJGI / Jamie Grill / Getty ImagesPeople sometimes make the mistake of thinking that just because a person is quiet, it also means the person is shy. It is important to realize that there is a big difference betweenintroversion, shyness, andsocial anxiety.Introverted people are not necessarily apprehensive about talking to others, although some introverted people certainly do experienceshyness or social anxiety.Introverts tend to be more reserved and inward-turning. They like to get to know a person more before engaging in a lot of conversation.Introverts prefer to think before they speak. They typically don’t enjoy a lot of chit-chat or small talk. So, the next time you notice someone who is quiet and reserved, don’t assume that they are shy or afraid of talking to others.Differences Between Introversion and Shyness
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Quiet Doesn’t Mean ShyJGI / Jamie Grill / Getty ImagesPeople sometimes make the mistake of thinking that just because a person is quiet, it also means the person is shy. It is important to realize that there is a big difference betweenintroversion, shyness, andsocial anxiety.Introverted people are not necessarily apprehensive about talking to others, although some introverted people certainly do experienceshyness or social anxiety.Introverts tend to be more reserved and inward-turning. They like to get to know a person more before engaging in a lot of conversation.Introverts prefer to think before they speak. They typically don’t enjoy a lot of chit-chat or small talk. So, the next time you notice someone who is quiet and reserved, don’t assume that they are shy or afraid of talking to others.Differences Between Introversion and Shyness
Quiet Doesn’t Mean Shy
JGI / Jamie Grill / Getty Images
People sometimes make the mistake of thinking that just because a person is quiet, it also means the person is shy. It is important to realize that there is a big difference betweenintroversion, shyness, andsocial anxiety.
Introverted people are not necessarily apprehensive about talking to others, although some introverted people certainly do experienceshyness or social anxiety.
Introverts tend to be more reserved and inward-turning. They like to get to know a person more before engaging in a lot of conversation.
Introverts prefer to think before they speak. They typically don’t enjoy a lot of chit-chat or small talk. So, the next time you notice someone who is quiet and reserved, don’t assume that they are shy or afraid of talking to others.
Differences Between Introversion and Shyness
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They’re Not Angry or Depressed
Introverts might be surprised to find that other people interpret the need to be alone as rude or dismissive.
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They Do Have Fun
Hero Images / Getty Images
Introverts are not party-poopers. While they might be quiet at a loud and crowded social gathering, it doesn’t mean they are not having fun.
In many cases, the introverts in the room are content to sit back and observe, taking in all the interesting sights, sounds, and conversations. They are curious and want to learn more about the world and the people around them.
4They Aren’t RudeSofie Delauw / Getty ImagesIntroverts can be quiet and reserved when you meet them, and it can be difficult to know what they’re thinking. This can cause others to perceive them as rude.Before you interpret this initial reserve as rudeness, consider personality and interpersonal styles. It is important to understand that an introvert might simply need to get to know you better before they feel comfortable and willing to open up.
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They Aren’t RudeSofie Delauw / Getty ImagesIntroverts can be quiet and reserved when you meet them, and it can be difficult to know what they’re thinking. This can cause others to perceive them as rude.Before you interpret this initial reserve as rudeness, consider personality and interpersonal styles. It is important to understand that an introvert might simply need to get to know you better before they feel comfortable and willing to open up.
They Aren’t Rude
Sofie Delauw / Getty Images
Introverts can be quiet and reserved when you meet them, and it can be difficult to know what they’re thinking. This can cause others to perceive them as rude.
Before you interpret this initial reserve as rudeness, consider personality and interpersonal styles. It is important to understand that an introvert might simply need to get to know you better before they feel comfortable and willing to open up.
5Introverts Aren’t WeirdSouth_agency / Getty ImagesAccording to some estimates, as much as half of the population identifies as introverted. Based on those figures alone, introversion certainly is not something weird, odd, or even eccentric. Introverts are sometimes unfairly categorized as strange.Introverts tend to follow their own interests rather than paying much attention to what is popular or trendy.
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Introverts Aren’t WeirdSouth_agency / Getty ImagesAccording to some estimates, as much as half of the population identifies as introverted. Based on those figures alone, introversion certainly is not something weird, odd, or even eccentric. Introverts are sometimes unfairly categorized as strange.Introverts tend to follow their own interests rather than paying much attention to what is popular or trendy.
Introverts Aren’t Weird
South_agency / Getty Images
According to some estimates, as much as half of the population identifies as introverted. Based on those figures alone, introversion certainly is not something weird, odd, or even eccentric. Introverts are sometimes unfairly categorized as strange.
Introverts tend to follow their own interests rather than paying much attention to what is popular or trendy.
6They Don’t Want to Be Alone All the Timeredheadpictures / Getty ImagesWhile introverts might need to have some time alone each day to gain back their energy, it certainly does not mean that they want to be alone all the time. Introverts enjoy spending time with people they know well.But even spending time with close friends and loved ones can be draining. People with introverted personalities periodically need quiet time to decompress and regain the energy they expend while socializing.
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They Don’t Want to Be Alone All the Timeredheadpictures / Getty ImagesWhile introverts might need to have some time alone each day to gain back their energy, it certainly does not mean that they want to be alone all the time. Introverts enjoy spending time with people they know well.But even spending time with close friends and loved ones can be draining. People with introverted personalities periodically need quiet time to decompress and regain the energy they expend while socializing.
They Don’t Want to Be Alone All the Time
redheadpictures / Getty Images
While introverts might need to have some time alone each day to gain back their energy, it certainly does not mean that they want to be alone all the time. Introverts enjoy spending time with people they know well.
But even spending time with close friends and loved ones can be draining. People with introverted personalities periodically need quiet time to decompress and regain the energy they expend while socializing.
7They Aren’t AgoraphobicHero Images / Getty ImagesJust because introverts are quiet and enjoy periods of solitude does not mean that they haveagoraphobia. Certainly, some individuals are both introverted and agoraphobic, but one is not an indicator of the other.Many introverts do describe themselves as “homebodies,” or people who enjoy hanging out at home and enjoying their family and hobbies. This does not mean that they are afraid of public spaces.
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They Aren’t AgoraphobicHero Images / Getty ImagesJust because introverts are quiet and enjoy periods of solitude does not mean that they haveagoraphobia. Certainly, some individuals are both introverted and agoraphobic, but one is not an indicator of the other.Many introverts do describe themselves as “homebodies,” or people who enjoy hanging out at home and enjoying their family and hobbies. This does not mean that they are afraid of public spaces.
They Aren’t Agoraphobic
Just because introverts are quiet and enjoy periods of solitude does not mean that they haveagoraphobia. Certainly, some individuals are both introverted and agoraphobic, but one is not an indicator of the other.
Many introverts do describe themselves as “homebodies,” or people who enjoy hanging out at home and enjoying their family and hobbies. This does not mean that they are afraid of public spaces.
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Introverts Don’t Have Low Self Esteem
Rafael Ben-Ari / Getty Images
Don’t assume that reserved people lack confidence or self-esteem.
Kids who receive constant feedback from adults and peers that something is fundamentally wrong with their personality just might, however, start to question themselves as a result.
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Introverts Don’t Hate People
Tara Moore / Getty Images
Small talk is something that makes most introverts cringe. What they need is areasonto talk.
So what can you do to start up a conversation with an introvert? Try starting an interesting conversation about something the introvert cares about and you just might find that they can be the most talkative person in the room.
How to Use Your Introversion to Make You a Better Leader
10Introverts Don’t Need to Be FixedPeathegee Inc / Getty ImagesIntroversion is often treated as something that needs to be overcome. Many introverts report that teachers and other adults often forced them into situations where they felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Some examples include:Making a quiet student take over as the leader of a group.Assigning a reserved child the lead role in the class play.Pairing quiet kids with the most extroverted kids in class for group assignments.Such actions are often accompanied with the justification: “You’re too quiet and getting you out there more will help you get over it!” But introversion isn’t something to “get over.“Extreme shyness and social anxiety are problems that need to be addressed, particularly if they result in significant distress or impairment in daily life. But it should be dealt with in acompassionateand professional way. Forcing a shy or anxious child into social situations where they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortableis notthe most appropriate way to help.Being quiet is not the same thing as being shy. Introverts don’t need to be broken down and remolded into extroverts.
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Introverts Don’t Need to Be FixedPeathegee Inc / Getty ImagesIntroversion is often treated as something that needs to be overcome. Many introverts report that teachers and other adults often forced them into situations where they felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Some examples include:Making a quiet student take over as the leader of a group.Assigning a reserved child the lead role in the class play.Pairing quiet kids with the most extroverted kids in class for group assignments.Such actions are often accompanied with the justification: “You’re too quiet and getting you out there more will help you get over it!” But introversion isn’t something to “get over.“Extreme shyness and social anxiety are problems that need to be addressed, particularly if they result in significant distress or impairment in daily life. But it should be dealt with in acompassionateand professional way. Forcing a shy or anxious child into social situations where they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortableis notthe most appropriate way to help.Being quiet is not the same thing as being shy. Introverts don’t need to be broken down and remolded into extroverts.
Introverts Don’t Need to Be Fixed
Peathegee Inc / Getty Images
Introversion is often treated as something that needs to be overcome. Many introverts report that teachers and other adults often forced them into situations where they felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Some examples include:
Such actions are often accompanied with the justification: “You’re too quiet and getting you out there more will help you get over it!” But introversion isn’t something to “get over.”
Extreme shyness and social anxiety are problems that need to be addressed, particularly if they result in significant distress or impairment in daily life. But it should be dealt with in acompassionateand professional way. Forcing a shy or anxious child into social situations where they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortableis notthe most appropriate way to help.
Being quiet is not the same thing as being shy. Introverts don’t need to be broken down and remolded into extroverts.
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Being Told “You’re Too Quiet” Is Insensitive and Rude
For an introvert, constantly being told that “you’re quiet” is a lot like telling an extrovert that they “never shut up.” It’s unnecessarily rude and comes with the implication that there is something wrong with the individual.
Both personality types need to make an effort to understand those who differ from them. Introverts have their own needs and quirks, just as extroverts do.
Final Thoughts
Not all introverts (or extroverts) are the same. Painting each personality type with broad strokes misses all the nuances and detail that make each person a unique individual. Learning more about how people with these personality types tend to think, act, and feel can improve your understanding of people who are different from you.
What to Know About Introvert Dating
6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Dossey L.Introverts: A defense.Explore.2016;12(3):151-160. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2016.02.007Khalil R. Influence of extroversion and introversion on decision making ability.International Journal of Research in Medical Sciences. 2016;4(5):1534-1538. doi:10.18203/2320-6012.ijrms20161224Silvia PJ, Kwapil TR.Aberrant asociality: How individual differences in social anhedonia illuminate the need to belong.Journal of Personality.2010;79(6):1315-1332. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00702.xZelenski JM, Whelan DC, Nealis LJ, Besner CM, Santoro MS, Wynn JE.Personality and affective forecasting: Trait introverts underpredict the hedonic benefits of acting extraverted.J Pers Soc Psychol.2013;104(6):1092-1108. doi:10.1037/a0032281Martinelli K.How to help anxious kids in social situations. Child Mind Institute.Tan CS, Low SK, Viapude GN.Extraversion and happiness: The mediating role of social support and hope.Psych J.2018;7(3):133-143. doi: 10.1002/pchj.220
6 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Dossey L.Introverts: A defense.Explore.2016;12(3):151-160. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2016.02.007Khalil R. Influence of extroversion and introversion on decision making ability.International Journal of Research in Medical Sciences. 2016;4(5):1534-1538. doi:10.18203/2320-6012.ijrms20161224Silvia PJ, Kwapil TR.Aberrant asociality: How individual differences in social anhedonia illuminate the need to belong.Journal of Personality.2010;79(6):1315-1332. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00702.xZelenski JM, Whelan DC, Nealis LJ, Besner CM, Santoro MS, Wynn JE.Personality and affective forecasting: Trait introverts underpredict the hedonic benefits of acting extraverted.J Pers Soc Psychol.2013;104(6):1092-1108. doi:10.1037/a0032281Martinelli K.How to help anxious kids in social situations. Child Mind Institute.Tan CS, Low SK, Viapude GN.Extraversion and happiness: The mediating role of social support and hope.Psych J.2018;7(3):133-143. doi: 10.1002/pchj.220
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Dossey L.Introverts: A defense.Explore.2016;12(3):151-160. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2016.02.007Khalil R. Influence of extroversion and introversion on decision making ability.International Journal of Research in Medical Sciences. 2016;4(5):1534-1538. doi:10.18203/2320-6012.ijrms20161224Silvia PJ, Kwapil TR.Aberrant asociality: How individual differences in social anhedonia illuminate the need to belong.Journal of Personality.2010;79(6):1315-1332. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00702.xZelenski JM, Whelan DC, Nealis LJ, Besner CM, Santoro MS, Wynn JE.Personality and affective forecasting: Trait introverts underpredict the hedonic benefits of acting extraverted.J Pers Soc Psychol.2013;104(6):1092-1108. doi:10.1037/a0032281Martinelli K.How to help anxious kids in social situations. Child Mind Institute.Tan CS, Low SK, Viapude GN.Extraversion and happiness: The mediating role of social support and hope.Psych J.2018;7(3):133-143. doi: 10.1002/pchj.220
Dossey L.Introverts: A defense.Explore.2016;12(3):151-160. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2016.02.007
Khalil R. Influence of extroversion and introversion on decision making ability.International Journal of Research in Medical Sciences. 2016;4(5):1534-1538. doi:10.18203/2320-6012.ijrms20161224
Silvia PJ, Kwapil TR.Aberrant asociality: How individual differences in social anhedonia illuminate the need to belong.Journal of Personality.2010;79(6):1315-1332. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00702.x
Zelenski JM, Whelan DC, Nealis LJ, Besner CM, Santoro MS, Wynn JE.Personality and affective forecasting: Trait introverts underpredict the hedonic benefits of acting extraverted.J Pers Soc Psychol.2013;104(6):1092-1108. doi:10.1037/a0032281
Martinelli K.How to help anxious kids in social situations. Child Mind Institute.
Tan CS, Low SK, Viapude GN.Extraversion and happiness: The mediating role of social support and hope.Psych J.2018;7(3):133-143. doi: 10.1002/pchj.220
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