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Table of Contents

Choose Unique Words

Be Authentic

Customize Your Compliments

Focus on Qualities Other Than Appearance

Give a Written Compliment

Compliment Using Your Eyes

Try Ready-Made Compliments

Use Technology for Compliments

Ask Someone for Help as a Compliment

Keep in Mind

Close

Giving compliments isn’t always easy, particularly if you aren’t sure what to say or are socially anxious. Compliments can have important benefits for performance and well-being.However, compliments can sometimes make people make peoplefeel uncomfortableif they aren’t given the right way.

You don’t want your compliments to sound like empty platitudes; you want to make sure they are meaningful and individualized to the person. One way to do this is to find ways to give unique compliments that convey a lot of meaning.

At a GlanceIf you want yourcomplimentsto stand out from the crowd, consider offering them in unique ways. Compliments delivered in unusual ways will be remembered and showcase your ability to think creatively. This may be especially important if you live withsocial anxiety disorder (SAD), as your social skills may be lacking. Keep reading to learn more about how to make your compliments stand out.

At a Glance

If you want yourcomplimentsto stand out from the crowd, consider offering them in unique ways. Compliments delivered in unusual ways will be remembered and showcase your ability to think creatively. This may be especially important if you live withsocial anxiety disorder (SAD), as your social skills may be lacking. Keep reading to learn more about how to make your compliments stand out.

Examples might include that your husband looks “dapper” or your girlfriend is a “phenomenal” athlete.

Just be sure that your words are genuine. Otherwise, your compliment may come across as over-the-top and unsincere.

Whenever you are giving a compliment, make sure it’s genuine. People can often tell if a compliment feels forced or inauthentic. The key to making it unique and honest is to focus on the things you really appreciate about the other person.

This is where practicing gratitude can come in handy. Think about the things you appreciate the most. How have they helped you? What characteristics stand out? What makes them unique?

Once you know what you want to compliment, deliver it when you feel most aware or appreciative of these special qualities. Telling your partner that you love their joyfulness when you are enjoying a happy moment together, for example, can be a deeply meaningful way to share a compliment.

Tailor the compliment to the individual, using inside jokes that only the two of you will understand. For example, once you’ve learned those sign language maneuvers, use them to give compliments to family members that only they will understand.

Giving customized compliments that have a backstory can help others feel special, knowing that the compliments are designed just for them.

While it’s tempting to give compliments that focus on physical appearance, it’s important to remember that how people look isn’t a measure of their abilities or value as a person. Instead of complimenting someone on things they don’t have much control over, try focusing your compliments on other aspects of who they are.

For example, you might try complimenting someone on their:

Not everyone feels comfortable sharing compliments in person—especially those who havesocial anxiety. Don’t feel that you can’t share your compliments if you are too nervous. Instead, take the time to send a handwritten note (in a timely manner) to the person you wish to compliment.

Compliments offered in writing have just as much impact—and often more. Because they are tangible, the other person can look back on them whenever they need a little pick-me-up.

A long stare is a hidden form of compliment. It works best when you are out on a date. In essence, you communicate that you can’t take your eyes off the other person.

Be sure only to use the stare type of compliment when appropriate, such as when you are with someone who you know is also attracted to you.Flirtation is fine when it is acceptable, which includes ensuring it is wanted and occurs in the right context.

Remember the golden rule of compliments—they aren’t given to receive anything in return, just to make the other person feel good.

Create a printable tear-off sheet with compliments that you can share. Or, create a compliment jar, with ideas such as “You are amazing,” “You are inspiring,” or “You are wonderful.” Customize them for your family, and you will have fun sharing the compliments you devised together.

There are even apps for giving compliments! You can try sharing compliments onsocial media sites. If you post a compliment on the wall of a Facebook friend, all of their friends will see it, giving it that much more weight.

One of the easiest and most impactful ways to offer a compliment is to ask someone to help you do something. In essence, you are telling the person that you value their skills and abilities, without having to directly tell them.

Ask for an opinion, help with technology or advice about a troubling situation. The other person will be flattered that you thought to ask him.

10 Worst Compliments You Can Give Someone

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Sahli H, Haddad M, Jebabli N, et al.The effects of verbal encouragement and compliments on physical performance and psychophysiological responses during the repeated change of direction sprint test.Front Psychol. 2022;12:698673. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698673Sezer O, Brooks AW, Norton MI.Backhanded compliments: How negative comparisons undermine flattery. Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 18-082, February 2018.Wade JA.(I think) you are pretty: a behavior analytic conceptualization of flirtation.Perspect Behav Sci. 2018;41(2):615-636. doi:10.1007/s40614-018-0136-y

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Sahli H, Haddad M, Jebabli N, et al.The effects of verbal encouragement and compliments on physical performance and psychophysiological responses during the repeated change of direction sprint test.Front Psychol. 2022;12:698673. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698673Sezer O, Brooks AW, Norton MI.Backhanded compliments: How negative comparisons undermine flattery. Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 18-082, February 2018.Wade JA.(I think) you are pretty: a behavior analytic conceptualization of flirtation.Perspect Behav Sci. 2018;41(2):615-636. doi:10.1007/s40614-018-0136-y

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Sahli H, Haddad M, Jebabli N, et al.The effects of verbal encouragement and compliments on physical performance and psychophysiological responses during the repeated change of direction sprint test.Front Psychol. 2022;12:698673. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698673Sezer O, Brooks AW, Norton MI.Backhanded compliments: How negative comparisons undermine flattery. Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 18-082, February 2018.Wade JA.(I think) you are pretty: a behavior analytic conceptualization of flirtation.Perspect Behav Sci. 2018;41(2):615-636. doi:10.1007/s40614-018-0136-y

Sahli H, Haddad M, Jebabli N, et al.The effects of verbal encouragement and compliments on physical performance and psychophysiological responses during the repeated change of direction sprint test.Front Psychol. 2022;12:698673. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698673

Sezer O, Brooks AW, Norton MI.Backhanded compliments: How negative comparisons undermine flattery. Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 18-082, February 2018.

Wade JA.(I think) you are pretty: a behavior analytic conceptualization of flirtation.Perspect Behav Sci. 2018;41(2):615-636. doi:10.1007/s40614-018-0136-y

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