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Nobody’s in a good mood all the time. Life gets tough, things don’t go as we expected, responsibilities build up, or maybe we simply wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Whatever the reason, you or your partner are bound to feel low occasionally.

It’s never fun to be around someone who’s in a bad mood but, assuming there isn’t a deeper issue within your relationship at play, it probably isn’t anything to takepersonally. Still, there’s no harm in wanting to help them feel a little better.

Here are some tips that might be helpful if your partner’s got the grumps.

At a GlanceYour partner being in a bad mood can be a major bummer, but it’s important not to take it personally. Be supportive, offer a shoulder to lean on, or give them space if they need it. If you can, surprise them with something they like or do something thoughtful to cheer them up.Hopefully the thunderclouds will pass soon!

At a Glance

Your partner being in a bad mood can be a major bummer, but it’s important not to take it personally. Be supportive, offer a shoulder to lean on, or give them space if they need it. If you can, surprise them with something they like or do something thoughtful to cheer them up.Hopefully the thunderclouds will pass soon!

Your partner being in a bad mood can be a major bummer, but it’s important not to take it personally. Be supportive, offer a shoulder to lean on, or give them space if they need it. If you can, surprise them with something they like or do something thoughtful to cheer them up.

Hopefully the thunderclouds will pass soon!

What to Do If Your Partner’s in a Bad Mood

These are some strategies that can help you support your partner when they’re in a bad mood.

Listen and Empathize, If They Want to Talk About It

Ask your partner if they want to talk about what’s bothering them. If they take you up on it, you can offer them a listening ear and let them vent if they need to, says Dr. Romanoff.

Give them your full attention and show them you care about what they’re feeling. Research shows us thatvalidatingsomeone’s feelings can help relieve negative emotions and put them in a better mood.Just getting it off their chest and feeling supported might help them feel better!

7 Active Listening Techniques For Better Communication

Give Them Their Space, If They Don’t

On the other hand, your partner may not want to talk about it, preferring to stew over it silently instead.

Although this can be harder to deal with, because you want to know what’s going on and try to fix it already, it’s important to respect their needs.

The goal is tosupport your partnerthe way they need it, even if that means taking a step back and letting them process it on their own, says Dr. Romanoff.

Try to Cheer Them Up

While a boatload of false cheer can sometimes be annoying, a thoughtful or sweet gesture might be more appreciated.

You could make them a cup of tea, draw them a bubble bath, offer them a back rub, or surprise them with cookies from their favorite bakery. It’s often thelittle thingsthat go a long way!

Distract Them

If their mood seems lighter, suggest afun activityyou both enjoy, like watching a movie, playing a board game, or going for a walk.

Shifting their focus away from what’s bothering them may help lift their spirits.

Offer Your Support With Whatever’s Bothering Them

Ask your partner if you can help them with whatever’s bothering them.

For example, if they’reannoyedbecause the washing machine just decided to throw a tantrum mid-cycle, offer to tackle the overflowing laundry basket together. Or, if they had a rough day, offer to cook their favorite meal or take their turn doing the dishes.

—SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD

Here’s How to Make Your Partner Feel Special

What Not to Do If Your Partner’s in a Bad Mood

Equally important is what not to do when your partner’s in a bad mood.

Don’t Take It Personally

It’s important to draw a boundary between your partner’s emotional state and yourself—this means not taking responsibility for their happiness or their bad moods, says Dr. Romanoff.

Their being in a bad mood doesn’t mean they care about you any less, that you did something wrong, or that you’ve failed in some way.

Don’t Try to “Fix It”

Going into “fix it” mode protects us from feelings ofhelplessnessand makes us feel like we’re in control, says Dr. Romanoff. “However, this can feel invalidating to the other person who might want to be heard and validated instead of silenced through the quick fix.”

Going into “fix it” mode protects us from feelings of helplessness and makes us feel like we’re in control. However, this can feel invalidating to the other person who might want to be heard and validated instead of silenced through the quick fix.—SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD

Going into “fix it” mode protects us from feelings of helplessness and makes us feel like we’re in control. However, this can feel invalidating to the other person who might want to be heard and validated instead of silenced through the quick fix.

Don’t Minimize or Brush Off Their Feelings

Even though you may have good intentions and are only trying to make them feel better about it, it can be very frustrating to have one’s concernsdismissed.

Instead, listen to what they’re saying and empathize with their feelings. Validate their stance and show them that their concerns matter to you, so they feel seen and heard.

Don’t React Negatively With a Bad Mood of Your Own

Although being around a grumpy partner is not fun, it’s important to be patient and understanding with their mood. Don’t react negatively with a bad mood of your own, because that will just fuel the fire and lead to a fight.

Instead, stay calm and give them the time andspacethey need to work it out. Research shows us that people who are feeling stressed out feel comforted when their partners express calmness, hope, and support, rather than worry or negativity.

Don’t Make It About You

Don’t make the situation about you. Focus on your partner’s feelings and needs instead of feeling neglected orrejected. Relationships are about give and take, and this may be a situation where you give more than you take, and that’s OK! Once your partner’s mood lifts, they’ll appreciate your patience and understanding.

Keep in Mind

However, if the mood persists and your partner is struggling with something more serious, they may benefit from support, either in the form of therapy or a support group, depending on what’s bothering them.

How to Encourage Your Partner to See a Therapist, According to Experts

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kuo JR, Fitzpatrick S, Ip J, Uliaszek A.The who and what of validation: An experimental examination of validation and invalidation of specific emotions and the moderating effect of emotion dysregulation.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2022 May 18;9(1):15. doi: 10.1186/s40479-022-00185-xChin BN, Kim L, Parsons SM, Feeney BC.Attachment orientation and preferences for partners' emotional responses in stressful and positive situations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2024 Jan 22;14(1):77. doi: 10.3390/bs14010077

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kuo JR, Fitzpatrick S, Ip J, Uliaszek A.The who and what of validation: An experimental examination of validation and invalidation of specific emotions and the moderating effect of emotion dysregulation.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2022 May 18;9(1):15. doi: 10.1186/s40479-022-00185-xChin BN, Kim L, Parsons SM, Feeney BC.Attachment orientation and preferences for partners' emotional responses in stressful and positive situations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2024 Jan 22;14(1):77. doi: 10.3390/bs14010077

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Kuo JR, Fitzpatrick S, Ip J, Uliaszek A.The who and what of validation: An experimental examination of validation and invalidation of specific emotions and the moderating effect of emotion dysregulation.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2022 May 18;9(1):15. doi: 10.1186/s40479-022-00185-xChin BN, Kim L, Parsons SM, Feeney BC.Attachment orientation and preferences for partners' emotional responses in stressful and positive situations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2024 Jan 22;14(1):77. doi: 10.3390/bs14010077

Kuo JR, Fitzpatrick S, Ip J, Uliaszek A.The who and what of validation: An experimental examination of validation and invalidation of specific emotions and the moderating effect of emotion dysregulation.Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2022 May 18;9(1):15. doi: 10.1186/s40479-022-00185-x

Chin BN, Kim L, Parsons SM, Feeney BC.Attachment orientation and preferences for partners' emotional responses in stressful and positive situations.Behav Sci (Basel). 2024 Jan 22;14(1):77. doi: 10.3390/bs14010077

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