10 Things to Do When You Feel Alone

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Table of Contents

Are You Feeling Lonely?

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Develop a Plan

Connect With People From Your Past

Join a Group or Club

Read a Book

Find an Online Forum

Learn Something New

Perform an Act of Kindness

Get Professional Help

Frequently Asked Questions

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You might also wonder, “Why am I alone?” Causes oflonelinessinclude life changes that lead tosocial isolation, like moving to a new place, grieving a death, or the end of a relationship. In some cases, loneliness is linked with mental health conditions likedepression.People with lowself-esteemmay also tend to feel lonely if they struggle to make social connections.

While everyone feels lonely at times, being alone too much can negatively affect your physical and emotional health. Studies have found that loneliness can be just as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day.Loneliness is also linked withcognitive declineand the risk of developing major psychiatric disorders.

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This fast and freeloneliness testcan help you analyze your current emotions and determine whether or not you may be feeling lonely at the moment:

Acknowledge That You’re Feeling Alone

Don’t waste your energy fighting your feelings or trying to suppress your emotions. Everyone feels lonely sometimes.

And feeling alone doesn’t mean you’re a loser and it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you’re human.

Studies have found that labeling your feelings can reduce the intensity of them.So simply putting a name to loneliness might help your brain make sense of how you’re feeling and instantly help you feel a little less lonely.

Sometimes you need to solve a problem. At other times, you need to solve how you feel about the problem.

If you are feeling lonely on a Friday night and you have friends or family members you could call, you might decide the best way to tackle the issue is to reach out to someone. You might find that talking on the phone helps. Or, you might invite someone to spend time with you.

If you reach out to people and no one responds, you might feel even lonelier. But, then you’ll know to tackle the problem from a different angle: Address how you feel about being lonely, rather than trying to connect with someone.

You might choose to engage in ahealthy coping strategythat allows you to feel better. Drawing, knitting, or gardening are just a few examples of solitary activities that might help you deal with your loneliness in a healthy way.

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When you are feeling alone, sometimes it’s easier to connect with old friends than it is to make new ones. Perhaps you lost touch with your college roommate over the years. Or maybe you have a cousin that you just don’t talk to very often.

You might reach out and see how they’re doing. Talk about how you’ve missed being able to catch up and say that you’d like to reconnect.

You may find it’s easy to connect with former classmates, people from your old neighborhood, or previous co-workers because you already have things in common. Reminiscing about old times may help you connect again and you might find that you’re able to establish a relationship moving forward.

In addition to connecting with people from your past, you might decide to connect with new people, too. Look for community activities that might be a good fit for you. From book clubs and community service projects to hiking groups and business societies, you will likely discover there are many ways to connect with people in your area.

You might check your local newspaper or try a website like Meetup to see what is going on in your community. Attend an event and make it a priority to talk to several people. You might find that attending a few different events or joining a couple of different clubs helps you meet more people.

Reading a book when you are feeling alone helps you get inside the head of characters or narrators. It’ll help you understand how other people think and it can help you feel more connected.

You might want to read a book you wouldn’t normally reach for sometimes, too. Whether that means checking a self-help book out from the library or it means listening to a science-fiction audiobook, books can expand your world and help you feel a little less lonely.

One of the many wonderful things about the internet is that you can connect with people from all over the world. You can find people with similar interests, problems, and goals with a few clicks of a button.

Getting excited about something you’re learning—whether it’s a new language or a new skill—might help when you are feeling alone. It also might open up doors to meeting new people.

Sign up for a cooking class or take karate. Or look for an online course you can take. Websites likeUdemyoffer affordable courses in subjects ranging from fitness to graphic design.

Creative outlets can boost your mood and help you live in the moment. That means fewer catastrophic thoughts about “being alone forever” and less dwelling on negative incidents from the past such as, “I can’t believe she said that to me.”

If you don’thave any hobbies, make it a priority to find one. Experiment with different activities, from fishing to pottery, until you discover things that you love.

Doing something nice for other people can help you feel better. It may also help you feel more connected to the community.

Whether you get involved in an official community fundraiser or do a kind deed for a neighbor, there are many acts of kindness you could perform. If you’re struggling to find something you can do, you might contact local charities, hospitals, nursing homes, or animal shelters to see how you could volunteer or offer assistance.

If you’re struggling with feeling alone and you don’t know what to do, you might want to seek professional help.

Talking to a mental health professional might help you make more meaningful connections with people and it may also help you discover strategies for coping with loneliness in a healthy way.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you.

In addition, a therapist can help you uncover any underlying causes of your loneliness—for instance if you are feeling lonely in a relationship ormarriage, feeling lonely after a breakup, or if you are feeling lonely and depressed at the same time.

If depression is contributing to your loneliness, a mental health professional can suggest treatment routes such as attendingcognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) to reframe negative thoughts and, in some cases, taking a medication—such as aselective serotonin reuptake inhibitor(SSRI)—that helps treat your symptoms.

It’s also important to reach out for professional help if you’ve been dealing with feeling alone in an unhealthy way. Drinking too much, turning to food for comfort, or engaging in other unhealthy behaviors can increase your loneliness in the long term.

Being alone too much is also linked with an increased risk of suicide. If you are experiencingsuicidal ideationor behavior, it’s important to seek help right away from a mental health professional.

If you or someone you care about is having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or someone you care about is having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Therapy

A Word From Verywell

It isn’t unusual to feel lonely from time to time, but people may be experiencing such feelings more frequently now due to increased remote working and decreased face-to-face time.

Whether you cope with the occasional bout of loneliness or achronicsense of isolation, know that you aren’t alone in feeling lonely (even though it feels that way). Exploring different ways to cope and reaching out for professional assistance can help you feel more connected.

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Frequently Asked QuestionsOvercoming loneliness takes time, but taking steps like reframing negative thoughts, acknowleding your feelings, and reaching out to others is a good place to start. Even small steps like spending more time in social settings, like going for a walk in the park or chatting with other people in the checkout line, can be a step toward feeling less alone and more connected.It isn’t unusual to be alone and feel that you have few or no close friends. One survey found that 22% of Millennial-aged adults report having no friends.However, there is a difference between being alone and feeling alone. Solitude can be a good thing when it’s something you enjoy. Feeling lonely, on the other hand, can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental well-being.Reaching out and building a support network isn’t easy, and many adults struggle to form new connections with other people. In addition to taking care of your emotional and physical health, some small steps you can take to bring more connection into your life include joining an online group for people with similar interests, adopting a pet, volunteering for a cause you care about, joining a support group, or signing up for a local book club.

Overcoming loneliness takes time, but taking steps like reframing negative thoughts, acknowleding your feelings, and reaching out to others is a good place to start. Even small steps like spending more time in social settings, like going for a walk in the park or chatting with other people in the checkout line, can be a step toward feeling less alone and more connected.

It isn’t unusual to be alone and feel that you have few or no close friends. One survey found that 22% of Millennial-aged adults report having no friends.However, there is a difference between being alone and feeling alone. Solitude can be a good thing when it’s something you enjoy. Feeling lonely, on the other hand, can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental well-being.

Reaching out and building a support network isn’t easy, and many adults struggle to form new connections with other people. In addition to taking care of your emotional and physical health, some small steps you can take to bring more connection into your life include joining an online group for people with similar interests, adopting a pet, volunteering for a cause you care about, joining a support group, or signing up for a local book club.

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6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Erzen E, Çikrikci Ö.The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis.Int J Soc Psychiatry.2018;64(5):427-435. doi:10.1177/0020764018776349Tiwari SC.Loneliness: A disease?.Indian J Psychiatry. 2013;55(4):320-322. doi:10.4103/0019-5545.120536Spreng RN, Dimas E, Mwilambwe-Tshilobo L. et al.The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation.Nat Commun2020;11:6393. doi:10.1038/s41467-020-20039-wTorre J, Lieberman M.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emot Rev.2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706Vasile C.CBT and medication in depression (review).Exp Ther Med. 2020;20(4):3513-3516. doi:10.3892/etm.2020.9014YouGov.Millennials are the loneliest generation.

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Erzen E, Çikrikci Ö.The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis.Int J Soc Psychiatry.2018;64(5):427-435. doi:10.1177/0020764018776349Tiwari SC.Loneliness: A disease?.Indian J Psychiatry. 2013;55(4):320-322. doi:10.4103/0019-5545.120536Spreng RN, Dimas E, Mwilambwe-Tshilobo L. et al.The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation.Nat Commun2020;11:6393. doi:10.1038/s41467-020-20039-wTorre J, Lieberman M.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emot Rev.2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706Vasile C.CBT and medication in depression (review).Exp Ther Med. 2020;20(4):3513-3516. doi:10.3892/etm.2020.9014YouGov.Millennials are the loneliest generation.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Erzen E, Çikrikci Ö.The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis.Int J Soc Psychiatry.2018;64(5):427-435. doi:10.1177/0020764018776349Tiwari SC.Loneliness: A disease?.Indian J Psychiatry. 2013;55(4):320-322. doi:10.4103/0019-5545.120536Spreng RN, Dimas E, Mwilambwe-Tshilobo L. et al.The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation.Nat Commun2020;11:6393. doi:10.1038/s41467-020-20039-wTorre J, Lieberman M.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emot Rev.2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706Vasile C.CBT and medication in depression (review).Exp Ther Med. 2020;20(4):3513-3516. doi:10.3892/etm.2020.9014YouGov.Millennials are the loneliest generation.

Erzen E, Çikrikci Ö.The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis.Int J Soc Psychiatry.2018;64(5):427-435. doi:10.1177/0020764018776349

Tiwari SC.Loneliness: A disease?.Indian J Psychiatry. 2013;55(4):320-322. doi:10.4103/0019-5545.120536

Spreng RN, Dimas E, Mwilambwe-Tshilobo L. et al.The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation.Nat Commun2020;11:6393. doi:10.1038/s41467-020-20039-w

Torre J, Lieberman M.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emot Rev.2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706

Vasile C.CBT and medication in depression (review).Exp Ther Med. 2020;20(4):3513-3516. doi:10.3892/etm.2020.9014

YouGov.Millennials are the loneliest generation.

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